mixwell Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Okay well my ex and I have been broken up for a while now.. I told her back in May that I didn't want to be just friends and I didn't think it was a good idea if we talked, so we haven't since then.. She has a b/f and all that and I don't want to get back with her anymore and for the most part I am over her.. I also enjoy being single and going out and what not.. Well lately I've been wondering how she is doing.. I was thinking about sending her just a friendly email to say hi and see how she is doing. I mean after all we were together for 7 years (since we were 14).. I just feel that I am at the point where I could talk through email and not getting my feeling involved. I feel like I am over her and am past all of that but I don't know how I would feel actually hearing from her after all this time. I then think it might not be a good idea to send her an email.. I mean after all I've gone this long and all this shiz is in the past and I can easily not email her but I thought it might be nice, but then again is it even worth it.. I mean nothing is going to change so thats why I am thinking maybe there isn't even a need to contact her since I have forgotten/ got over our past.. So what do you think ?? go ahead and send one or just forget about it ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Tiggerlove Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Forget about it--don't email her. You know darn well that as soon as you send a friendly email, you'll be sitting by the computer, checking your email, to see if she's replied. A part of you probably wouldn't mind having her back. You guys have had a LONG history together...you guys grew up together, but if you interrupt her life now after time has past, it could put a damper on her relationship now. OR by emailing her, she may ignore it, and you'll feel bummed, therefore, your feelings could get hurt. You're young, have fun with new people. Link to post Share on other sites
Gottabestrong Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 I would not contact her yet. I think it is great that you are now fine with the breakup, but it sounds like you are still a bit vulnerable where she is concerned. So I would wait a few more months before I would get in touch with her. I would also wait for an event to come around so I would have an excuse for contacting her. Like a birthday, holiday... Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
NewLee40 Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 I think you may be in a bit of denial about why you want to talk to her. She sounds like she's moved on, and you may be seeking a little bit of validation that she still cares. Its best to leave it alone for now, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
vix Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Hi mixwell. I agree with the others. The question you've got to ask yourself is could you cope with speaking to her? There'll probably be 3 outcomes - 1) she'll be surprised but ok with it & will let you know what she's up to, however, would you really want to know? - 2) she won't respond & what'll go through your mind then? - 3) if she thinks you are trying to interfere, she may reply in a distant & cold manner. I wouldn't do it personally because as you say, you don't know if you'd be ok with it. However, if you feel that it's something that you need to do (we've all been there), then just be prepared. Link to post Share on other sites
Numb Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Mixwell, Don't even bother bro, for one thing it might bring back some memories or pain...do you really wanna go there again? You may think your over her and it won't bother you to talk to her, but are you sure you would be able to handle her being a bitch to you??? Besides why would you even care how she's doing? Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Its been a long while since you talked to her. I have a feeling she would like it if you sent her an email. I have someone that I dated briefly and I sent them an email after a long while and she was really happy to hear from me, we may even meet up. Sometimes they are even happy to hear from you if you had a falling out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mixwell Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 I hear what most of you are saying... I think I could handle speaking to her through email.. Honestly NewLee even though I havent talked to her in a while and am over her for the most part I still miss her like crazy.. then again I went through the whole keeping in touch shiz when she had a b/f and I don't know.. This is the longest I have gone without talking to her.. I guess I tell myself that I am over her and I go out to clubs and what not, but there are times when I think about her.. Like the other night for example I had a dream about her.. sheeezz.. I don't know I really want to email her a basic email just saying whats up but I don't know.. Plus I am drunk right now as I am typing this and I know people do a lot fo stupid shiz when they are drunk so maybe i best wait until I am sober to decide.. GRRRRRR.... as I am typing this it is making me think of her more.. aww crap.. thanks for the advice guys.. and girls... Link to post Share on other sites
NewLee40 Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 I hope you didn't call her Mix. Dialing drunk is never a good idea. Trust me, I know whatof I speak. Yes, you do miss her and there is so much history there, it will take a long time to move on. You can be happy and single and still feel alot of pain and longing. Those are not all mutually exclusive terms. Its all just a part of the healing process. Just ask yourself this...if she said, you know, I want you back and miss you (forget whether or not you think that's really gonna happen) would you consider it? If the answer is yes, there's probably a hidden hope lingering inside you that things could be working out. Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Look Your ex never said dont contact me. In fact most of the time you did contact her she was happy to her from you. Just send a quick little email of or maybe a call.. Yes of course dont do it drunk Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Originally posted by mixwell I mean after all I've gone this long and all this shiz is in the past and I can easily not email her but I thought it might be nice, why would you want to be "nice" and ruin all the hard work you've done since May in maintianing NC? It will take exactly 60 seconds to undo almost 4 months worth of work. I would recommend stongly against any contact with her whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mixwell Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 Yeah you know what nothing is going to change.. why should I contact her if i know nothing will change.. honestly right now I enjoy my freedom too much to even want to be back with her.. Ive been going out drinking like crazy with my friends and talking to girls.. I was missing out big time.. NewLee if she said she missed me and wanted to get back I don't think I would take that offer at this point.. I know I might be happy that we were back together but overall now that I think of the person she is and what not, she isn't what I am looking for .. I guess we just had such as history and I loved her like no other was why I wanted her back so bad.. Okay Im not going to email her !! I need to slap myself back into the right train of thought.. After all I was the one that said that I didn't think it was a good idea that we talked so I shouldn't go back on what I told her. Im sure she has had the same feelings about wanting to contact me.. Anyways this is the end of it.. I am not even going to start putting in any effort thinking about her and wasting more of my life away like i first did.. Thanks for the reassurance and advice all of you !!! Thanks, Peace Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 "slap" Link to post Share on other sites
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