When to Call Child Services?

[shellybing]

I am not sure if this area of the forum is for families, or not.

 

Before I begin, I am not in danger.

 

I am inquiring for the little child that lives in the apartment next door.

 

I swear every time I move, I get stuck living next to someone who has a loud ass mouth, always angry, yells at their kids, and beats them.

 

I moved away from an apartment recently for the same reasons. A child who was very little was being beat, literally beaten. I am not talking about a spanking. I am talking I could hear this woman storm through the house on a regular basis berrating her child to the point of tears (the ugly face tears) for hours upon hours. This kid was no older than 8 years old. I could hear her slapping, hitting, etc.

 

I moved from that apartment, into what I thought would be a better apartment. This time, it is a grandmother and her daughter. Sometimes the boy is there, he can be no older than 6 years old.

 

I hear her throwing things that hit the wall, I hear her dragging him around, I hear slapping, constant crying through my bedroom wall.

 

I know this childs name because she screams at him so often.

 

This woman is not only just angry, she is angry at everything. She has yelled at several other people on the property for parking and whatever else. There was a threat written on the ground in sidewalk chalk because she thought that someone had stolen one of her chairs that had been lost in her move.

I was even walking out to my car once, and she was talking badly and venting about something I had done. I hadn't even spoken two words to the lady. I addressed her "greeting" when she moved into the building.

 

As I am sitting here now, I have heard this child cry his poor self to sleep.

 

It is very saddening.

 

I do not know what to do. Or when it is appropiate to call child services on someone.

 

Does anyone have any advice?

[hippychick3]

Please call ASAP!

 

If you have any question whether or not you should call, it's better to call. CPS will make the determination whether or not to investigate with the information you give.

 

And if you are hearing a child being hurt, call the police.

[shellybing]

I even hear her randomley in the middle of the night, while everything is quiet yell out his name and then go storming off. . .

this poor kid.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

My other online home is Websleuths and there are so many stories there about child abuse ending in death. Children are dying every day at the hands of their caregivers because neighbors didn't want to get involved. Please call.

[shellybing]

I do believe you can report anonymously? Yes?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I do believe you can report anonymously? Yes?

 

I've never done it, but I've always thought so....?

[shellybing]

I've never done it, but I've always thought so....?

 

me either. . . .

 

it was these last 2 apartments. I lived next door to that woman, last time I just moved because she would cause problems with me all of the time over some bull****. She was a huge bully.

This lady is the same way. Yells, screams, bully's people around all the time.

[shellybing]

I will look into it and see if I can report anonomously.

 

I don't have anything to do with people like that. . .

[shellybing]

I couldn't be 100% sure. She could just be a loud ass and throw things around alot, but the cries and screams of the child tell me otherwise.

 

I dont hear anyone else in this new complex. Only her. Everything else is quite pleasant and quiet.

[shellybing]

She yells and screams at her dog like that too....but he is quiet until he goes out. The dog is never heard unless he is outside and barking ravenously. At which point she yells at him too. Dog is always dirty and unkepmt.

[hippychick3]

Yes, you can report anonymously. They won’t know it was you you made the report.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I couldn't be 100% sure. She could just be a loud ass and throw things around alot, but the cries and screams of the child tell me otherwise.

 

I dont hear anyone else in this new complex. Only her. Everything else is quite pleasant and quiet.

 

It's not your responsibility to determine whether it's something or nothing, but the screams of the child would be enough for me to call.

[shellybing]

It's not your responsibility to determine whether it's something or nothing, but the screams of the child would be enough for me to call.

 

I have my own kids.

 

I don't spank them. They are wonderful children, and I just couldn't. . . .

I am a privelege taker away. They are a bit older though. . . .

 

 

I don't want to intrude on someone else life, if that child is taken away from it's family, will it be better off in foster care? Will it have a home to go to?

 

It could be a life altering experience for this family, and I would hate to be wrong, which is why I am asking where those lines begin and end.

 

I break down sometimes. I have yelled and been frustrated with my own children. Which is understandable, by any means. For anyone.

What bothers me about this is that it is every day.

 

I would hate to do a dis service to this child if I were wrong, by calling and reporting.

 

But as you have said, and you are right - that is not my responsibility.

[grays]

I would have all of the same concerns you do about calling, and I have very little faith in the authorities or the system to do the right thing. BUT one thing to consider is that unless there is strong concrete evidence, if you are the only one reporting theyre not going to do anything except for possibly give grandma a wake up call. But if you are the 3rd, 4th, 5th to call it may be the call that kicks them into gear.

 

I called once on one of my closest friends (felt so awful for betraying her). She had beaten her husband so badly over so many years that he was losing his sight in both eyes from that thing that usually only boxers get when their retinas detatch. Neighbors had been calling the police on them a couple times a month for years. As far as I knew she had never physically hurt her kids, but just before I found out she was beating up her H, she told me she was scared because her 5 yr old son was starting to press her buttons just like his dad. She also told me that he was scared of her and would often flinch if she reached towards him. I told cps all of this and other yucky details and clearly her two little ones were lying in bed hearing whatever made the not all that close neighbors call the police. CPS came and interviewed the 5 yr old at school and the came to the (rich white people) home to interview parents and that was the end of story. And they could have, maybe did, look up the dozens of calls to the police. But that was not enough.

 

I actually do think their poking around did do some good though. I heard thru the grapevine that they high tailed it to a lawyer who told them the best thing was for all of them to get family and individual counceling so it looks good if cps comes around again.

 

So I say call. They might not do anything but it could help anyway.

[BaileyB]

Yes, it will be anonymous. Make the call.

 

It's unlikely that the child will be removed from the home. The standards are so low... But, it will be a wake up call for this family. And, sometimes CPS can put support in place - require parents to attend parenting classes, etc... Hopefully, there will be some help offered to this family.

[shellybing]

One thing I worry about is retalition.

 

What if they find out it was me who called?

 

The woman I lived next door to, before I moved to this apartment was fined 3 times because of my complaints. She was such a bully. She would frequently park in my parking spot, throw trash down from the second floor to the porch littering all over everything. After I asked her nicely to stop parking in my space all she did was yell in my face. Every interaction I had with the woman, she literally just yelled profanity at me.

 

When she began to get fined she quickly started her retalitations, when she figured out it was me. She quickly began her retaliations. I was miserable in that apartment over complaints. I called my landlord and the police. They trashed my car, spit on my daughter from above when she was on the porch, and egged our porch from above. It was literally something every day.

 

If I report this woman in our new apartment, I fear that I will have retaliation. The police won't do anything about that either because I won't have any proof.

 

It is so tiring and I am not sure I want that to happen again. I know they say it is anonomys but the landlord, the police, and everyone else said that about the other woman. And then, I was forced to move.

 

So I am just at a loss here about what to do. I don't want to be made to be miserable for making this choice.

[amaysngrace]

You're a grown woman...he's a small child

 

Think of your possible pain compared to his actual pain then do the right thing.

[shellybing]

You're a grown woman...he's a small child

 

Think of your possible pain compared to his actual pain then do the right thing.

 

Thanks.

I didn't really need to be condescended.

 

I am here asking a serious question about a serious problem.

 

It is not wrong of me to worry about what will happen when the bullying and abuse shifts from this child to me and my own children. I have my own family to think about as well.

I did not come here to ask advice just to be condescended. I understand the right thing to do is to call, but it is not so simple and clear cut.

[jay1983]

I guess call and ask If you can report anonymously. Otherwise I wouldn't.

[shellybing]

I remember sitting in my apartment on the last day, while everything was packed up. The house was quiet because everything had been unhooked and my daughter and I sat on the edge of the bed listening to this woman go on her rampages on her son.

 

My daughter quietly thanked me for being her mom, and I pulled her closer to give her a hug. We talked about how glad we were to be moving away from such a person. My daughter stated clearly "Mom, she's just a big bully." We talked about how we felt sorry for that kid, even though he was just as bad about bullying as his mother.

 

I spoke to my daughter about how to deal with bully's like that, and I said even adults can be bullys. It is not just at your school. I looked at her and said, do you see her coming over here and treating me like that? When have you ever seen this woman come over to my face and tell me something? She hides behind her actions, because she is a coward.

 

I said to her: You see this woman yelling at everyone about everything all the time, even her own son. Who is just a little kid. But you have never seen her come here and yell at me to my face right? And my daughter looked at me and said "Mom, it's because she sees that you are stronger than her."

 

That is something I can be proud of for sure. I know my daughter is one of the most caring and intelligent creatures around (brag moment)

 

But it doesn't necessarily mean that I would like to experience it all over again. It is a miserable situation to be in.

[jay1983]

You sound like you're in the hood. I know how it is, you can get in a lot of trouble when you involve police and stuff like that.

[shellybing]

You sound like you're in the hood. I know how it is, you can get in a lot of trouble when you involve police and stuff like that.

 

:lmao:

 

Quite contrary, there is a loud mouth ******* in every apartment I just get stuck next to them.

 

I guess my other apartment was kind of older, but this one is quite pleasant except for her.

[amaysngrace]

Thanks.

I didn't really need to be condescended.

 

I am here asking a serious question about a serious problem.

 

It is not wrong of me to worry about what will happen when the bullying and abuse shifts from this child to me and my own children. I have my own family to think about as well.

I did not come here to ask advice just to be condescended. I understand the right thing to do is to call, but it is not so simple and clear cut.

 

I'm not trying to be condescending. If you know what the right thing to do is then why aren't you doing it? Because it's hard?

 

I'm just simply saying that what you "may" go through is minor compared to what this small six year old boy is experiencing.

 

Why did you ask what to do if you knew you weren't going to do anything?

[shellybing]

I'm not trying to be condescending. If you know what the right thing to do is then why aren't you doing it? Because it's hard?

 

I'm just simply saying that what you "may" go through is minor compared to what this small six year old boy is experiencing.

 

Why did you ask what to do if you knew you weren't going to do anything?

 

If you think having your car beat with a baseball bat is minor than i would suggest you go check to see how much that costs.

 

If you like waking up to your porch being egged every morning, or being worried about letting your child out to play, or having to teach her defense techniques, than please by all means. Tell me more how much easier it is.

 

I merely asked them to move their car out of my parking space once, and woke up the next morning to my car being trashed.

 

I called the police, I took pictures, I made the reports. Nothing. there was no proof because her and her son did it in the middle of the night.

 

So yea, it's soo much easier to take the brunt of abuse.

[shellybing]

I asked for advice.

 

I asked for guidance.

 

I asked to talk about it.

 

That is why forums exist.