Unsure of my path..

[IReallyLovePuppies]

Hello everyone,

 

I posted about my situation end of last year; to be honest, there isn't an 'answer' I am seeking but rather.. I just need to talk as I can't discuss this with my family.

 

For the past month, the whole separation was amicable and I was still seeing the kids; and with her around quite regularly and we will go out for dinners and talk. She still talks about the possibilities of getting back and she admits how she was brutal and complain to me and how she is controlling her temper.

 

We made a pact that if we don't find someone in 2 years, we will meet up and bang each other's brain out - mistakes I made.. that last for 3 days and we've slept with each other 3 times in the months since we've been apart but I have now put a stop to it.. told her I am a guy, sex to me is sex but it's not fair on her and I don't want to confuse the issue.

 

I can see that she is trying really hard not to be nasty anymore.. but it's the case of; after 10years of the emotional abuse and anger, I don't believe in someone changing in a month and I am no longer wanting to invest into more years to find out I've made a mistake..

 

But things more or less went south 2 days ago; we came back from babysitting the daughter's dog.. she just had surgery which I paid for it. Mentioning it here not trying to take credit but just to show, I have not washed my hands off them, I still financially help them when I can..

 

I told her how I do miss the kids etc and she started on;

"Well, you are the one who decided to make the decision to split up. You are the selfish one who decided that you had to leave us.." - there were more said but in all honesty, I had shut off then.

 

I realised then that she hasn't changed.. everything was still about her and her life and happiness. What I mean by that is: if it was our daughter who decided to leave her partner; will the daughter be considered as the selfish one cause she wants to have a better life and better future?

 

Between Dec and now, I have done a lot more financial stuff for her and the kids.. but I could not listen to her more. Told her I was sorry and left.. we have no spoken for 2 days now.

 

I miss the kids.. Nakita is not well and been sleeping a lot and I want to spend as much time with her as possible but I can't deal with the above.

 

Not looking for answer.. but I just had to vent.

Edited February 4, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[Just a Guy]

Hi I love puppies, guess you should divorce, bid for 50/50 custody and not have to spend time with your toxic wife. You will get your time with the kids, albeit not a hundred per cent. However, that is better than not seeing them at all. Just a thought. Warm wishes.