I’m not sure where I stand with my ex.

[John_saunders]

So about a month and a week ago my girlfriend and I broke up. She was under a lot of stress and said she couldn’t handle all of it especially me heading back to school in Ohio so she broke it off. We talked a little after the breakup about what was going on and where we were both at. We finally stopped talking. After a while I started going places that we both liked going to and she saw me we didn’t say anything to each other. A week after this happened she started talking to me on snapchat. It started off with some late night heart to heart talks and also included some racy pictures. And then we kept talking all day and night for about a week with the same kind of outcome. We kept talking and we talked about the break up saying she felt trapped because she couldn’t handle all the stress of doing a long distance relationship and going to school and her family situation. She told me she didn’t regret breaking up and her decision wasn’t going to change but we’ve been doing things we would do if we were in a relationship sending pictures talking all the time etc. I’m just confused as to where we stand it seems like we are friends in the way we were before we started dating. She gives me the feeling that she still feels that way but can’t handle everything. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[dumbass2]

You're her ex. That's where you stand. She has stated that she doesn't regret breaking up. It's hard most of the times to just not talk to your ex any more. She likes you and still wants your attention, but most likely until the next guy comes along. She's doesn't want to do the long distance thing. You can stay in contact if you want, but that could lead to more hurt for you and keep you in a holding pattern while you still have hope she changes her mind. Best to tell her that you can't just be friends and have to move on and not talk to her again.

[d0nnivain]

You stand apart. She doesn't want an LDR. You go back to school in Ohio. You enjoy your semester as a person free to date whomever.

 

 

If you move home after graduation, when you two are no longer long distance, if you want to you see if you can reconnect. That may not work. You or she may meet somebody in the interim.

[springy]

"She told me she didn’t regret breaking up and her decision wasn’t going to change but we’ve been doing things we would do if we were in a relationship sending pictures talking all the time etc."

 

She has told you where you stand, you just don't want to listen to what she's saying. You are helping ease her guilty conscience and helping her get over you by staying in her life and pretending that all is hunky dory. Happens to lots of dumpees as long as they allow it. When she finds a new guy I'd wager she'll drop off your radar quite abruptly.

 

You've shown her that it's okay for her to dump you and keep you as an emotional crutch. Put an end to it, so you can get over her and move on. Tell her to let you know if she ever changes her mind. Otherwise, as the one who didn't want the breakup you stay in limbo land.

 

Try asking her why she's doing this - I bet it'll be something along the lines of she thinks of you as her best friend, wants to keep you in her life, etc., but nothing about wanting to get back together. Although she may use the "you never know what the future holds" line.

 

Don't mistake this behavior as confusion on her part. If she wanted to be with you, she would...and you would know it.

[BC1980]

I don't think she wants to get back together. I think she's just having a hard time moving on but not because she wants to get back together. It's hard to just stop talking to someone you dated, even if you did the breaking up. She could just be lonely and want the attention.

[rickwman]

I'd give her time and space to work things out; how she feels about you and the relationship. Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain, especially if one or both of you are in school. I hope that you can be at peace with her and if you need to move onto another girl, I'll stand with you during that process.

[zombi24]

Take what she says at face value. She doesn't want to be with you as of right now.

 

Yeah, feelings may change and she may regret it more down the line, but don't count on that. Give her space so she can see what life is like without you.