RecordProducer Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 So I have two questions on jealousy: 1. What makes you jealous? 2. What are the signs that tell you your guy is jealous? My answers: 1. I hate when my BF looks at other women or comments their looks (he knows he is not allowed to ). I've basically always trusted my partners when it comes to fidelity and honesty so I am not really the jealous type when it comes to accusations. 2. I've noticed that whenever I talk about some male friend, my guy is trying to find some fault about him and believes that everyone wants to just sleep with me. I think it's cute. I like it when he's jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Blackfrost Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 1. What makes you jealous? Hmmm.... I really don't know if I get jealous of my wife. All my prior girlfriends yes, but my wife has never really given me reason to be jealous........I mean granted she does other stuff that drive me frustration. I don't really care if she talks to other guys, or side eyeballs them: as long as she never gives me a reason to worry about that kind of stuff, I guess I just don't. Ignorance is bliss sometimes. 2. What are the signs that tell you your girl is jealous? Now my wife on the other hand can get very jealous if she hears about me talking to other girls I work with and whatnot. Her standard jealous reaction is silence and general pissiness, until I find out what's bugging her, and then get her to let it out. Then she usually lets it go. In the past she's come to my office several times to meet some of the women I work with, to size them up. I think it's silly really. Jealousy is a worthless (for lack of a better word) emotion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 Originally posted by Blackfrost She does other stuff that drive me frustration. Her standard jealous reaction is silence and general pissiness, until I find out what's bugging her What frustrates you about your wife? So when she is jealous, does it bother you or do you like it? Link to post Share on other sites
Blackfrost Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 What frustrates you about your wife? forgetfulness and clumsiness would be two factors that drive me nuts. If I tell you on the cell phone while you're in the grocery store "bring home chicken for dinner" and she comes home with something completely different, then says "oh sorry, i completely forgot, once I started to buy other stuff" As for clumsiness...................*sigh* no I don't want to hear about some new bruise you got today from running into a cabinet door, or the one you got yeasterday or the day before or the day before............. I'm sure if she saw me posting these things, she'd have a list to add about me as well hahahaha........but then again, I already know my faults. Do I like it if she's jealous? no, I think that's kind of a mean way to make someone you love feel, just to justify that they really want you. Some women weild this like a weapon. One of my ex-girlfriends was so like that, that I promptly showed her the door after 4 months of dealing with her insecurity hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 Originally posted by Blackfrost she'd have a list to add about me as well hahahaha........but then again, I already know my faults. Well I can tell you what your main fault is: that your wife's forgetfullness and clumsiness frustrate you! I mean, if those are her only faults then she's perfect! Link to post Share on other sites
Jtizzle Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 1.) what makes me jealous..would be if my man is giving another chick his time..he works alot and were doin the long distance thing and every second we can talk counts, and when he doesnt call me, but yet tells me he talked to an ex gf that gets me a lil jealous... 2.) he gets jealous over any other guy..im not really fond of havin female friends..so i hang around alot of males..and thats what they are..just friends to me and vice versa for them..but my bf gets upset, furious, jealous if im up talkin to a buddy late at nite or if im havin company over, or doin anything with a guy of any kind..he throws tha hissy fits, but its ok for him to have girls sleep over and all this jazz.. i dont get it Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 I like it when my bf got female attention. I hated when he was flirting with these women. After long suffering and one too many drinks at a party, I've done the same - and he was right there, where the action was. He took it very very badly, even though I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. Juuuust talking! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 27, 2005 Author Share Posted August 27, 2005 Thanks for your answers, girls. It seems that guys get jealous about every male friend, but usually don't show it much, right? Oh, and double standards are always present in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted August 27, 2005 Share Posted August 27, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer 1. What makes you jealous? When I catch her lookin' at some dude and she says that 'hey that guy's a looker'. I'll be like <grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr> Sometimes I wonder if she does it to get a rise out of me. I dunno. She's usually the one checkin' on me when I'm working late, with silly questions like.... 'who's with ya now'....... 'bet you're not at work'...........'where did you put my MP3 player' (yeah, like she really need to ask me then and there where the player is). Link to post Share on other sites
rglove Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 I don't believe in Jealousy. For me, it's like a cardinal sin and I consider it to be a crime. Jealousy and Possessiveness are two things I don't go for. They rather cramp my lighthearted, free-spirited style. I say, rather than being jealous, be confident in you ability to handle your business, thusly so, they need to go/look no place else, because it's too good right there. A jealous woman couldn't handle being with me, and I couldn't handle the Drama!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 When a girl leaves me for no good reason to somebody else. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer 1. What makes you jealous? -when she has male "friends" that she hangs out with -when were at a bar and I go to bathroom and comeback 5 min later and some dude is hitting on her -when some a-hole is trying to move in on my "territory" -basically whenever some dude shows extra special attention to my woman 2. What are the signs that tell you your guy is jealous? these are the things I have done when jelous: -started fights or threatened other dudes hitting on my gurl -belittle her male "friends" -when she flirts with other dudes I will flirt with other women in front of her -excessive general "angryness" -storm out of the place and leave her there without a ride home Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 28, 2005 Author Share Posted August 28, 2005 I enjoyed reading your reply and that was a very precise one, Alphigno! Exactly what I was looking for. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale -storm out of the place and leave her there without a ride home That's not at all gentleman like, Alpha. Leaving never solved any problems. If my date ever did that to me, he'd be off my list straight away. Nothing ever justifies such a behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Thing most likely to make me jealous. If he starts dropping a lot of comments about a particular woman at work. Particularly if a lot of them involve a "stupid/funny thing she said/did today"- and are related in a tone of exasperation mixed with fondness. To me that's a red flag indicating that the woman in question is pulling off a quirky little ingenue act. I'd rather deal with a blatant man-eater any day of the week than with one of those. How I deal with it? Not brilliantly , to be honest. I'll tend to end up snapping "Do you fancy her or something? Does she know you have a girlfriend?" If anyone has any advice on a better way (for future reference) then I'd be most grateful Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 28, 2005 Author Share Posted August 28, 2005 Originally posted by lindya If anyone has any advice on a better way (for future reference) then I'd be most grateful Two things: ignore and fire back. The more you show jealousy the more he wants them. The more you show how indifferent you are towards other women the less he will pay attention to them. Everybody likes the forbidden fruit. The less possessive you are the more he will want to be only with you. However, don't ever say for another woman how great and beautiful she is. Then you wake up the hunter in him and he wants to prove himself that he can have her. You make him pay attention to her. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Two things: ignore and fire back. The more you show jealousy the more he wants them. The more you show how indifferent you are towards other women the less he will pay attention to them. Everybody likes the forbidden fruit. The less possessive you are the more he will want to be only with you. However, don't ever say for another woman how great and beautiful she is. Then you wake up the hunter in him and he wants to prove himself that he can have her. You make him pay attention to her. Sounds like good advice I spent my twenties learning to stop bottling up my feelings. Now maybe I need to spend my thirties learning how to hide them a bit more again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 28, 2005 Author Share Posted August 28, 2005 Originally posted by lindya Sounds like good advice I spent my twenties learning to stop bottling up my feelings. Now maybe I need to spend my thirties learning how to hide them a bit more again. Same here! Link to post Share on other sites
undercover Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Several years ago, I was in a wonderful long term relationship. For the purpose of this posting, I will refer to my lover as "Omega". One night, I confessed to Omega that my ex has been desperately trying to ressurect our now defunct relationship. I was afraid that Omega would get into a jealous fit. Omega's response was not at all what I expected! After sharing some of the details of my ex's attempts to reconcile, Omega actually became sympathetic with my ex. "I can imagine how it must hurt to lose you" Omega said. It was then that I realized that Omega was not only my friend and lover --- Omega was a true HUMAN BEING! We have been apart for years now. This was just one of a million things that made me love Omega. Although I am no longer in love with Omega, my love and admiration will not soon wane. I find myself looking for someone with Omega's character. I wonder if Omega's current lover will mind me calling Omega in an effort to ressurect our wonderful years together Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 29, 2005 Author Share Posted August 29, 2005 Omega actually became sympathetic with my ex. "I can imagine how it must hurt to lose you" Omega said. I've been in a similar situation and my BF also feels bad for the ex. It often happens that the ex-lovers want us when we find someone new. I am no longer in love with Omega You don't sound like that since you're saying: I find myself looking for someone with Omega's character. I wonder if Omega's current lover will mind me calling Omega in an effort to ressurect our wonderful years together Why did you guys break up? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Record P : You say he is not * allowed * to look at other women ? You realize men are visual creatures.....they will be sure to look without your permission when you are not around. I do think its rude for your bf to openly stare at a women if you are with your guy out in public. But men still manage to get a peek here and there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 29, 2005 Author Share Posted August 29, 2005 Record P : You say he is not * allowed * to look at other women ? You realize men are visual creatures.....they will be sure to look without your permission when you are not around. QUOTE] No, he is not "allowed" to comment them in front of me. He can look, but he knows it hurts me when he stares for a long time. I am perfectly okay with him looking, commenting or even flirting when I am not around. I don't care and I don't want to know. But he said he doesn't flirt and I believe him. Link to post Share on other sites
undercover Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 I've been in a similar situation and my BF also feels bad for the ex. It often happens that the ex-lovers want us when we find someone new. You don't sound like that since you're saying: I will always love Omega... but I'm no longer in love... the effects of time. Why did you guys break up? I loved Omega so much, I pressed hard, and inadvertently squeezed him out of my life... mea culpa! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RecordProducer Posted August 30, 2005 Author Share Posted August 30, 2005 I loved Omega so much, I pressed hard, and inadvertently squeezed him out of my life... mea culpa! I knew you were a woman! Well when somebody writes that sentence, it usually means that the woman wants commitment and the guy doesn't. You mentioned that you were together for years. If he let himself be squeezed out of your life, it means he wanted to be. It's both people's fault and loss. You lost a great person, but he was probably never yours with his whole heart. You say you loved him so much, but didn't mention how much he loved you. He lost your love, but that's how much he cared for it. You deserve someone who will return your feelings in equal amounts. Don't grieve over an old relationship that didn't succeed and don't blame yourself. It wasn't meant to be. If he wanted you, he would have looked for you. Don't call him now after several years since you broke up. No matter how great somebody is, if he is not yours then he is just a Rolls Roys in the car-store window; you can't afford it! You'll find true (mutual) love and hopefully next time he will be the one who will press hard. Link to post Share on other sites
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