Are there any situations in which it would EVER be okay to lie to your S.O.?

[ZayKayWill]

Most people I think would agree that honesty is usually the best policy. But are there any situations in which it would be okay or even beneficial to not be truthful to your spouse? I can't think of any thus far, except maybe disclosing the truth so they wouldn't get hurt or killed or something. Can't think of anything else other than that.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I guess try to think of a situation in which you would be comfortable with your SO lying to you and maybe that answer could apply to your question.

[ZayKayWill]

Hey Cookies. You never made space in your mailbox. I wanted to share some stuff with you. Have you heard of Jordan Peterson by any chance?

[GorillaTheater]

While you never, ever want to lie to your SO, there may be some times when redirection is in order:

 

 

"Do these jeans make my ass look big?"

 

 

The correct response is always: "Baby, those jeans would look best around your ankles."

[CptInsano]

I wouldn't say to lie but to omit. Sometimes it is better to let certain things remain in the past or to focus on the positive.

[Jj66]

A: I am too honest.

B: I don't see how that is a possible.

A: I don't give a **** what you think!

 

Q.E.D.

 

You absolutely can be too honest. I am not advocating becoming a liar but at least feign a little interest in the bauble she is so excited about.

[thefooloftheyear]

What GT says...

 

You need to really be careful about telling the truth about appearance types of topics...If you love her and don't want to start a shyt fest, then pick your spots...

 

A small percentage of women will be inspired by it.....most get crushed..

 

TFY

[d0nnivain]

I'm sure I told a few lies to my husband when I was in the middle of planning his surprise 40th birthday party. I know for a fact I lied to him the night I picked his father up from the airport because I told my husband that I would be home late because I had to work late. I consider those acceptable lies.

 

I also think that if your partner is dumb enough to ask you if they are the best lover you ever had that you should say yes, even if it's not true. Nobody wants to think about their partner being with somebody better.

 

In all other things, diplomacy is the key -- delivering the truth kindly in a productive manner.

Edited February 8, 2018 by d0nnivain

[ZayKayWill]

I'm sure I told a few lies to my husband when I was in the middle of planning his surprise 40th birthday party. I know for a fact I lied to him the night I picked his father up from the airport because I told my husband that I would be home late because I had to work late. I consider those acceptable lies.

 

I also think that if your partner is dumb enough to ask you if they are the best lover you ever had that you should say yes, even if it's not true. Nobody wants to think about their partner being with somebody better.

 

In all other things, diplomacy is the key -- delivering the truth kindly in a productive manner.

 

 

 

Eh. I mean what is 'better'? Obviously there are going to be some things that are automatic red flags that would make just anyone with these traits undatable, but it all comes down to compatibility. Doesn't matter how rich, smart, or good looking somebody is. Hell, it doesn't even matter how kind somebody is. It ALL comes down to compatibility.

[Michelle ma Belle]

While you never, ever want to lie to your SO, there may be some times when redirection is in order:

 

 

"Do these jeans make my ass look big?"

 

 

The correct response is always: "Baby, those jeans would look best around your ankles."

 

:lmao:

 

I'm all about honesty and transparency but even I agree there are definitely times and situations where white lies are not only perfectly acceptable but healthy.

 

I'm horrible at hiding and/or lying about big stuff, important stuff but seem to have no problem with the tiny lies or "redirection" as GT so eloquently explained above.

[whichwayisup]

There's a big difference about white lies that can prevent a problem/shi.tstorm vs a lie that you know is wrong and damaging.

I was in the middle of planning his surprise 40th birthday party. I know for a fact I lied to him the night I picked his father up from the airport because I told my husband that I would be home late because I had to work late. I consider those acceptable lies.

 

Exactly! And I highly doubt he was angry at you for this afterwards.

[central]

If telling the truth would put you in danger, or could result in some other significant harm, then yes, lying is justified. Give yourself the time needed by doing so, in order to get out of such a relationship with minimal harm.

[Happy Lemming]

My theory on lying is the person telling the lie is afraid of something or some action by their significant other.

 

I really don't fear any action or consequence from my significant other, so there is no reason to lie.

 

As a side note, if my girlfriend ever asked me if she looked fat in a pair of jeans, I would respond that she would look better in that sun dress hanging in her closet.

[PegNosePete]

I can't think of any thus far

Planning a surprise birthday party / anniversary / trip.

[salparadise]

Deception is so interwoven into the social fabric, and the connotation so negative, that most people don't even realize the extent to which loving couples aren't completely honest, and that doesn't even include the harmless little white lies. I think people are also really good at self-deception and justification. People who believe that they never lie, or that their spouses never lie to them, just aren't dealing with reality in anything close to an objective manner. And this is substantive deception... anyone who doesn't use little white ones as social lubricant isn't going to have friends or be able to fit into social groups.

 

"DePaulo recently began looking at the less frequent "big" lies that involve deep betrayals of trust, and she's finding that the vast majority of them occur between people in intimate relationships. "You save your really big lies," she says, "for the person that you're closest to."

 

The Truth About Lying

[ZayKayWill]

Deception is so interwoven into the social fabric, and the connotation so negative, that most people don't even realize the extent to which loving couples aren't completely honest, and that doesn't even include the harmless little white lies. I think people are also really good at self-deception and justification. People who believe that they never lie, or that their spouses never lie to them, just aren't dealing with reality in anything close to an objective manner. And this is substantive deception... anyone who doesn't use little white ones as social lubricant isn't going to have friends or be able to fit into social groups.

 

"DePaulo recently began looking at the less frequent "big" lies that involve deep betrayals of trust, and she's finding that the vast majority of them occur between people in intimate relationships. "You save your really big lies," she says, "for the person that you're closest to."

 

The Truth About Lying

 

Good to hear from you m8. Hope all is well.

 

:lmao:

 

I'm all about honesty and transparency but even I agree there are definitely times and situations where white lies are not only perfectly acceptable but healthy.

 

I'm horrible at hiding and/or lying about big stuff, important stuff but seem to have no problem with the tiny lies or "redirection" as GT so eloquently explained above.

 

Maybe I'm just blunt []but I would just tell her the truth. She DID ask after all. It's all in how you say it honestly. Maybe I'm just crazy but I wouldn't wanna date someone so fragile if they asked me my honest opinion and expected me to just say 'the right thing'. IMO that's just BS. If you don't want honest criticism don't ask.

Edited February 9, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[littleblackheart]

My exH thought it beneficial to my well-being not to tell me he was cheating. I found out anyway. That's probably the biggest flaw in trying to lie to your SO or hide something from them; it gets found out one way or the other, eventually.

[GorillaTheater]

Deception is so interwoven into the social fabric, and the connotation so negative, that most people don't even realize the extent to which loving couples aren't completely honest, and that doesn't even include the harmless little white lies. I think people are also really good at self-deception and justification. People who believe that they never lie, or that their spouses never lie to them, just aren't dealing with reality in anything close to an objective manner. And this is substantive deception... anyone who doesn't use little white ones as social lubricant isn't going to have friends or be able to fit into social groups.

 

"DePaulo recently began looking at the less frequent "big" lies that involve deep betrayals of trust, and she's finding that the vast majority of them occur between people in intimate relationships. "You save your really big lies," she says, "for the person that you're closest to."

 

The Truth About Lying

 

 

I won't dispute that it goes on quite a bit, but in my experience lying is just too much work as far as crafting the lie itself, remembering to keep the lie consistent, and feeling like an ******* because I lied in the first place. It's pretty much a lesson I learned as a teenager when it seemed like I was always lying to get out of one jam or another.

 

 

Telling the truth is almost always, if not flat-out always period, far easier than lying.

[ZayKayWill]

I won't dispute that it goes on quite a bit, but in my experience lying is just too much work as far as crafting the lie itself, remembering to keep the lie consistent, and feeling like an ******* because I lied in the first place. It's pretty much a lesson I learned as a teenager when it seemed like I was always lying to get out of one jam or another.

 

 

Telling the truth is almost always, if not flat-out always period, far easier than lying.

 

Science has shown that it actually is a lot easier to lie than to just tell the truth I think because when you lie you gotta consciously think about what you wanna lie about, whereas when you just tell the truth it's more natural and you don't gotta think too hard about it.