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I hate the pain...should I give him space or let him go


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hi guys I've and so lost right now...see I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years were very serious and we planned on moving in together in a year... I am 17 and he is 18 I felt like I found the one maybe that sounds stupid but we were so good together we loved eachother I was his first everything and he was mine! we were best friends and boyfriend and girfriend it was so great until about 4 months ago he would go threw the periods where he would need a break for a day or two and then he said he was sorry he always treated me like a queen he is truly my idea of perfection....then a month ago we broke up I was so horrified it hurt so bad after a week of still keeping in contact we got back together and we we perfect again but that would only last for three weeks suddenly he said I just don't want a girlfriend now and I love you and care about you but we can't get back together because I can't stand hurting you he stayed on the phone after he broke up with me for 5 hours telling me how great I was and how even though he likes me and thinks i'm perfect he wants to have options and flirt with other girls but not have a serious realationship I suggested a break and he said no. he said he is joining the navey next year and he dosen't want to leave anyone here. I feel like I lost a big part of me I really don't have the best life I lost both my parents 5 years a go and where I live now is NOT fun at all!! so I feel like I have nothing he wants to stay friends and he wants to talk everyday and see me just not as a girlfriend I am so crushed I don't know what to do should I give him space or let him go or keep trying I can't lose another person I love its killing me!! please help!!

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Originally posted by lost89

I am so crushed I don't know what to do should I give him space or let him go or keep trying I can't lose another person I love its killing me!! please help!!

 

First of all....I'm soo sorry to hear about your parents.

 

Regarding what you should do.....give him his space. You mentioned a break up and then a reconciliation and then the final break. That tells me that he was really struggling. However, once someone feels the need to step away from a relationship, there's usually very little that you can do to change their mind. Both parties have to fully WANT to be in it otherwise, you find that the one staying out of feelings of 'obligation' begin to resent the other. Nobody wants to be with someone out of guilt. Does that make sense??

 

You're both very young and I don't doubt that you love each other very much but IMO as hard as it's going to be....you have to try to set him free, for now. I know the pain involved because I've been in your situation before .

 

I wouldn't recommend being 'friends' right now either. That option tends to prolong the pain and hurt that follows a break up.

 

I feel your pain and I'm so sorry that you or anyone for that matter ever has to go thru this but know that you will survive this.

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