Woggle Posted February 18, 2018 Posted February 18, 2018 Woggle, I am in awe of what a great guy you seem to be despite having gone through this. I am glad you post on LS. Hugs to you! My earlier posts are much different in bad ways I am glad I am not that man anymore. Hugs back to you. 4
amaysngrace Posted February 18, 2018 Posted February 18, 2018 I love everyone in my family, well who is left anyway, but my one sister I can't stand. Luckily she lives in Orlando and I don't have to see her much. She'll be at my son's wedding in May next year but I have lots of time to get mentally ready for that and hopefully don't end up punching her in the throat. 3
Casper. Posted February 18, 2018 Posted February 18, 2018 Casper I'm sorry that you had such lousy parents but your relationship with your sister is truly touching. I'm glad you two had each other. Yeah, me too, truth is i'd have been lost without her, growing up she kept me sane.....our childhood definitely wasn't great but i think maybe that's a big part of why we ended up so close, so, i guess maybe everything does happen for a reason, I dunno! Everyone that knew him always used to tell me how like my dad i am, they were right i guess.. If you got a photo of him at my age and put a beard and some tattoos on it I dont think you could tell the difference between us! But they used to tell me how like him i was as well, personality, mannerisms, the works ...and i used to hate it!! I used to hate that association! I so didn't want to be him! I didn't want to let people down! For sure there was a time when my life could have slipped down that same slope but I pulled it back because, its out choices that define us, not out genetics and I choose a better life!! So I might not have been set a great example growing up but I've watched my family fall apart and i've watched all those mistakes that i refuse to make in my own life! I wont make those mistakes with my gf, and one day if i'm blessed with kids of my own then i wont repeat these mistakes, i choose to do better! Some people get stuck letting their past define them.. but you have to choose to see to see it as an opportunity, or even as a warning, so that you can have stronger, more positive relationships in your own life! ....For sure I know there was people that thought I was destined to end up either drunk like my mum or in jail like my dad but.. boys all grown up - and I didn't! I might not be Bill Gates or David Beckham, but I have a loving girlfriend, a great relationship with my sister and my nephew, and some pretty awesome friends..and you know, I'm actually pretty proud of that, thats the stuff that really matters! 6
basil67 Posted February 19, 2018 Posted February 19, 2018 I have good relationships with my parents and sister, but I'm not super close to them. I'm just a bit too different. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 19, 2018 Posted February 19, 2018 Some people get stuck letting their past define them.. but you have to choose to see to see it as an opportunity, or even as a warning, so that you can have stronger, more positive relationships in your own life! Your story is very inspirational. My prayer for you is that someday (if not already) just ONE person falls into your life/path who you can help minister to/guide. Someone who needs to hear this message and this strength and this positive outcome from you. I truly believe that every hardship in our life (no matter if it's small or big) is put there so that we can help the next person get through it. And hopefully more than one. Thanks for sharing, Casper. 3
BettyDraper Posted February 19, 2018 Posted February 19, 2018 My mother and I had a terrible relationship with because of the sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse she inflicted on me. She discovered radical feminism and felt that it justified the way she treated me because it was about time men and boys had the boot on their neck. I became the punching bag for all her rage and she never showed any remorse. Despite that I forgave her because it isn't good walking around with that hatred and I was becoming no better than her by hating women. My father I sort of get along with but he stood by and did nothing while it happened. When my mom would make me live on the street because she couldn't stand to even look at a male he refused to take me in because he didn't want to make her angry. That is how afraid he was of her. I have no brothers or sisters. Do you forgive your father? I'm asking because I know how hard it is to forgive a parent who enabled another parent's abuse. You're very right about not holding on to hatred. I became a happier woman when I let go of grudges. Clutching anger and resentment only weighs us down. We are all just fallible human beings trying to get through life. At this point, I feel sorry for my mother and I wish her a peaceful retirement. I'm still polite and loving to her because she raised me to the best of her ability and there were still happy moments in spite of the abuse. 1
Woggle Posted February 20, 2018 Posted February 20, 2018 Do you forgive your father? I'm asking because I know how hard it is to forgive a parent who enabled another parent's abuse. You're very right about not holding on to hatred. I became a happier woman when I let go of grudges. Clutching anger and resentment only weighs us down. We are all just fallible human beings trying to get through life. At this point, I feel sorry for my mother and I wish her a peaceful retirement. I'm still polite and loving to her because she raised me to the best of her ability and there were still happy moments in spite of the abuse. I forgave pretty much everybody who wronged me for my sake as well as their's. With everything I have going for me in life right now why hang on to old grudges? 5
Author ZayKayWill Posted February 22, 2018 Author Posted February 22, 2018 I have good relationships with my parents and sister, but I'm not super close to them. I'm just a bit too different. Are you the black sheep of the family? Because I know I definitely am. Not the least bit ashamed of it. People mostly seem to be attracted to my energy rather than repelled by it, though.
MsJayne Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 Dad - Highly intelligent but emotionally retarded. An abusive bully who approved of only one of the kids in our family, the one that wasn't his. Mum - A narcissist, self absorbed, a compulsive liar, insensitive and ignorant. Had numerous affairs and brought her long-term lovers child into the family Sister #1 - Emotionally damaged but kind, intelligent, and one of my best friends Sister #2 - A pretentious, money-obsessed narcissist who I have no time for. Sister #3 - A sociopath. Mummy and Daddy's Golden Child. Never given any boundaries, a cruel and relentless bully, toxic enough to poison the whole family. Now deceased 1
Author ZayKayWill Posted February 23, 2018 Author Posted February 23, 2018 Dad - Highly intelligent but emotionally retarded. An abusive bully who approved of only one of the kids in our family, the one that wasn't his. Mum - A narcissist, self absorbed, a compulsive liar, insensitive and ignorant. Had numerous affairs and brought her long-term lovers child into the family Sister #1 - Emotionally damaged but kind, intelligent, and one of my best friends Sister #2 - A pretentious, money-obsessed narcissist who I have no time for. Sister #3 - A sociopath. Mummy and Daddy's Golden Child. Never given any boundaries, a cruel and relentless bully, toxic enough to poison the whole family. Now deceased Be honest...is Sister 3 the youngest? Only reason why I ask is because the youngest tends to get spoiled the most....I know because I was one of those children... 1
drakon12 Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 Dad - Control freak, obsessive, wearisome, will always blame me Mom - Addictive personality, overly protective, anxious, strict, would blame and even yell at me when I'm sad and vulnerable Brother - Low self-esteem, loudmouthed, emotional, pessimistic Even though they also have good qualities and I love them, it's no secret that they make my life harder sometimes. That could be because I'm still living with them.. Sometimes I feel like I can't get anything I want without fighting for it.
todreaminblue Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 i love my family ...all of them.....all i crave for them ...is to be happy....and i will be happy....my happiness my sadness ...my smiles and my tears...is wrapped up in my family..even the ones i dont see anymore or talk to ...i love them too and want happiness for them..even if happiness means no contact with me.......i would prefer they have happiness...and ill love from a distance with prayers and vibe them good thoughts.... i love this thread its nice to see recognition of family and the love to be had....with flaws and all..theres no subtracting family from love....only addition.......deb 2
skywriter Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 (edited) I copied and pasted from K.K. 's thread, post a random fact about you in 2017. Hmmmm... a random fact about me. Well, I was conceived through my mothers apartment being broken into and her being raped. She was stricken with polio when she was I think three years of age and sent to live in a crippled childrens home until the age of 18 years of age and then told she could leave to live as an adult. She succombed too her poor health at 29 years of age and passed away. Her sister then adopted me, at 3 years of age. I believe growing up with this information has made me more compassionate towards those with disabilities. It's sort of a privilege to be able to help someone that is need of assistance. So I was taken in by my aunt. She told me one day, I asked, what I should call her and she said, anything I wanted, so I called her mom. She had four children and her youngest , a girl, was three months older than me, so we were like twins, very close. She was always protective of me, like my personal body guard throughout our school years. There were times, that I felt an outsider, not being the biological child, but for the most part, I know that i was a very lucky individual, considering my situation. I didn't become an orphan. My mom didn't legally adopt me, until I was 17 years old. So I lived under the radar fourteen years, without the schools or any legal system questioning this.Then again that was 1967 through 1981. I did have a good relationship with my Mom/Aunt, and the youngest of her children, we were definitely close throughout our school years. We live in different states now, however, we talk daily. Edited February 23, 2018 by skywriter 2
MsJayne Posted February 23, 2018 Posted February 23, 2018 Be honest...is Sister 3 the youngest? Only reason why I ask is because the youngest tends to get spoiled the most....I know because I was one of those children... No, I'm the youngest 1
Author ZayKayWill Posted February 24, 2018 Author Posted February 24, 2018 I am blessed with the most loving and supportive family I could imagine. Even though I live in another state now, we have a family group online chat and we talk all the time. My mum is the kindest person I have ever met. She is my best friend and has stood by me no matter what. My dad is more reserved but we are still close. He is just not as good in expressing emotions. I tend to seek practical advice from him (i.e. mortgage, boss problems..). My brother and I are also very close. We share similar sense of humor and similar interests. I had a picture perfect childhood. The only downside is that they have all set a bar very high in terms of empathy and integrity. Once I was out in the adult world, I got a very rude awakening when I saw that most people are not even close to that.[/QUOTE] The truth in this post is so real it's not even funny. 1
CatMinx Posted March 9, 2018 Posted March 9, 2018 Mine are all dead. For perspective, I am 32. Enjoy your families while you can. 1
hyrule Posted March 13, 2018 Posted March 13, 2018 (edited) Dad - amazing person, gentle and kind with everyone. Very submissive, does everything my mom wants. Mom - manipulative, guilt-tripping person. Throws a tantrum if something does not follow what she wants. Grandpa - once a very authoritarian man, regreted the way he acted his entire life and now he's the sweetest thing. Grandma - typical housewife from the 50's, submissive and very kind with everybody. I have no siblings and the rest of my family can suck it. Edited March 13, 2018 by hyrule typo 2
Author ZayKayWill Posted March 14, 2018 Author Posted March 14, 2018 Dad - amazing person, gentle and kind with everyone. Very submissive, does everything my mom wants. Mom - manipulative, guilt-tripping person. Throws a tantrum if something does not follow what she wants. Grandpa - once a very authoritarian man, regreted the way he acted his entire life and now he's the sweetest thing. Grandma - typical housewife from the 50's, submissive and very kind with everybody. I have no siblings and the rest of my family can suck it. You officially have the absolute best username on this website.
RecentChange Posted March 14, 2018 Posted March 14, 2018 Honestly? My family was pretty disfunctional when we were young, and it affected our adult relationships. Mom - Mentally ill much of her life. I am very thankful that I was able to make amends and come to terms with "she doesn't want to be this way" and that fact that her early childhood abuse damaged her in ways that she was not able to recover from. All and all, we had a decent relationship, it was hard to get along with her, especially when I was young, but eventually I learned how to interact with her. Dad - I love and admire this man more than I could ever express. We have a good relationship, one full of love and respect. I don't talk to him every day, or week, or even month - but we are still quite close. For many years it was me and him as he raised me as largely a single father. Sister - We do not have a good relationship. She is 9 years older than me (bio half sister) and honestly struggles with some of the same mental health issues my mother had. I find her difficult to get along with. She hasn't spoken to me since our mothers death - when I said I had made peace with her (mother) and didn't identify with the anger my sister still has for her. Our relationship has always included years of estrangement. (she has gone years not talking to our dad, didn't talk to our mom for almost 10 etc) Brother - Good but not close relationship. He (10 years older, bio half) moved out when I was 8 years old, and we just didn't grow up very close. We love each other, and get along, but do not see each other more than once a year. Step Mother- We get along well, another relationship with love and respect, if not super close. Thats it for my immediate family. I never had any grandparents, or uncles or aunts involved in my life (either dead, far away, or apathetic). My family was never a "big close family". My dad tends to be a bit of as loner, and I definitly follow his foot steps. My step mother is the one that gets people together for family gatherings, her large family comes out, and my brother and his family do - occasionally my sister does if we can convince her to make the effort.
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