Feeling Totally Out Of Control

[Prettyinblack]

My b/f and I broke up 5 weeks ago tomorrow and there has been NC. I am going nuts! We had been together for 3 1/2 years and he has committment issues around living together and I just couldn't hold on any longer, waiting, I mean.

I know he felt pressure around this but in my way of thinking, if you are seeing someone for 3 1/2 years, and you have told everyone that 'this is the one', what the heck is the wait???

He started to get all picky and miserable which caused alot of tension and then the whole thing blew up. We had holidays planned to go camping last week as well as attend a concert and neither happened. He has told mutual friends of ours that he had sold the tickets for the concert but I found out last night, he DID go with a guy friend of his. Our friends were there and he told the woman that he and I split up. To me, it doesn't feel like a split up even though it is! That is where the craziness comes in for me. I just can't get my head around it. I am thinking that he working on these 'committment' issues and will resurface telling me that we can work this out. Am I nuts or what?

I ahve even started calling psychic lines to get a 'forcast' and feel totally out of control.

We have split up before around this issue and I have always let him come back with little effort.....I have spoiled him and I know it. THis time, I am letting him 'do the work' and don't know how it's going to turn out. I miss him like crazy.

[bendit]

If he's got commitment issues,

it means YOU"VE got commitment issues..

take this opportunity (drama down time ;-)) to address this and other

things going on with you..Don't hold on to this one as it will be just

more of the same..back and forth..back and forth. Let Go and Grow! Learn something

about YOU and what you are contributing to the way you feel now

and next time (with that new guy) things will be better. Not perfect

but better.

 

Regards

 

Mike