ls7878 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 He is my boss. I fell for him 5 years ago. But I got hurt when I realize he has another woman in my department...then I got pregnant with my bf and I went on maternity leave. When I come back, he and that girl left the company... Right now he is back...with even higher position...I am also in one of his departments... He hooked up with a lady in my department in his very first week. She sleep with each of our bosses to keep her popular status and her job. She know my existence. At the beginning, he said it is only for sex and she agreed. He keep trying to get me involve with him. He even let a manager to work from home to keep him away from me during Xmas time. And he thought I will be will him but I didn’t...so he was with that lady...right now she want to be his gf or she refuse to go out with him any more. He lost his patient with me...he got really angry with me, which never happened before. He feel I do not care about him so I never go out with him. She also look troubles with me because her jealousy. She make other cowork in my team scared to hangout with me. She steal all my female friends I the office and seduce all the male friends to isolate me from group....she is popular in our office, everyone scared of her.... In this complicated situation, I began to agree to go out with him..but each time she will interrupt the plan..... I do not know what I should do right now...maybe I also do not want to lose him so I agree to go out with him, i do not know my real feelings right now...I know it will be more complicated if I got involved.... What is gonna happen if I go out with him? He want sex or just spend time with me...I need time toknow him, know the situation...but what if that is not what he want? I am really sure she will continue seducing him every single day...then where I would be then...he feel excited when she move her body and touch herself infront of him... I do not know what I should do... I guess she is a perfect match with him...they both ok to have sex with strangers and feel excited about it, enjoy it a lot... I am not that type of people...I only had sex with my husband...he is the only man in my small world and I feel grateful about it.... I do not know what I should do, what is going to happen....please help me... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Don't date your boss or sleep with him. He's not a good guy. He uses the women under him for sex. Being just one of many will make you unpopular at work. You will also be more upset then you are now when he tires of you & moves on to the next conquest Link to post Share on other sites
Author ls7878 Posted February 11, 2018 Author Share Posted February 11, 2018 Thank you for your reply. I know you are right! How should I refuse him without angry him...my manager is really weak...she knows what is happening but she is helping him...when the lady gave me hard time, she even gave me more hard time to keep that other lady happy.... all my friends keep distance with me because they think I will bring bad luck or bad situation to them....I really do not know what I can do now... my baby is still little I am not in the situation to change another job.... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Just do your job. If he asks you to go for drinks, say you have to get home to your child. If he persists, say you would prefer to keep things professional & leave it at that. Do not be mean. Do not be dramatic. Just do your job. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Are you still with your boyfriend/husband OP? I am not clear whether you are married now or not. Follow d0nnivain's advice: keep you head down and do your work. Don't accept any invitations to spend time with him outside of the office. He is not a high-quality man; let this other woman have everyone's sloppy seconds with him. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Are you still with your boyfriend/husband OP? I am not clear whether you are married now or not. Follow d0nnivain's advice: keep you head down and do your work. Don't accept any invitations to spend time with him outside of the office. He is not a high-quality man; let this other woman have everyone's sloppy seconds with him. At the end of the post, she mentions a husband. She mentioned getting pregnant by a bf. Baby is now two years old. So, not sure. OP, I gotta ask. Why are you entertaining the idea of going out with this guy (who may be married)? Why so much attention to who is saw sleeping with who? Go in, do your work. You've got a long history of asking questions about those in positions above you and lateral coworkers. If you really have to sleep with someone to keep your job, you need a new job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ls7878 Posted February 11, 2018 Author Share Posted February 11, 2018 Ok, I will! Hope everything will be passed over and I can have a regular work life soooon. Thank you for the advice. Thank you for the help! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ls7878 Posted February 11, 2018 Author Share Posted February 11, 2018 Yes we got married when I pregnant. He always know his existence. I just cannot share the idea to go out with him with my husband... Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Yes we got married when I pregnant. He always know his existence. I just cannot share the idea to go out with him with my husband... Obviously not! But why are you entertaining the thought? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ls7878 Posted February 11, 2018 Author Share Posted February 11, 2018 I thought we need to communicate. He knows I fell for him last time. Maybe he just want me back. I thought I should tell him I am not a fun girl to play with and I will get hurt.... I do not want him get angry with me if I just ignore him to end this. I fell for him hardly last time...even thought he is the one in my life....I cannot day I feel nothing when I saw him hoped up with a lady in his very first week returning back... I hate myself fall fell for such a man and also hate him that he could do much better.... It is complicated feelings... I know I got married I should put everything behind...I know...but sometimes it just come up from somewhere...either it is hate or feelings...I do not know.... I also want that lady stay back,love me alone....but I was wrong I should just let everything go...like their advice: keep my head down, do my job and go home...I should just let her do her thing and forget about it....I thought icanmake her go away...but things get even more complicated.... Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 He is my boss. I fell for him 5 years ago. But I got hurt when I realize he has another woman in my department...then I got pregnant with my bf and I went on maternity leave. When I come back, he and that girl left the company... Right now he is back...with even higher position...I am also in one of his departments... He hooked up with a lady in my department in his very first week. She sleep with each of our bosses to keep her popular status and her job. She know my existence. At the beginning, he said it is only for sex and she agreed. He keep trying to get me involve with him. He even let a manager to work from home to keep him away from me during Xmas time. And he thought I will be will him but I didn’t...so he was with that lady...right now she want to be his gf or she refuse to go out with him any more. He lost his patient with me...he got really angry with me, which never happened before. He feel I do not care about him so I never go out with him. She also look troubles with me because her jealousy. She make other cowork in my team scared to hangout with me. She steal all my female friends I the office and seduce all the male friends to isolate me from group....she is popular in our office, everyone scared of her.... In this complicated situation, I began to agree to go out with him..but each time she will interrupt the plan..... I do not know what I should do right now...maybe I also do not want to lose him so I agree to go out with him, i do not know my real feelings right now...I know it will be more complicated if I got involved.... What is gonna happen if I go out with him? He want sex or just spend time with me...I need time toknow him, know the situation...but what if that is not what he want? I am really sure she will continue seducing him every single day...then where I would be then...he feel excited when she move her body and touch herself infront of him... I do not know what I should do... I guess she is a perfect match with him...they both ok to have sex with strangers and feel excited about it, enjoy it a lot... I am not that type of people...I only had sex with my husband...he is the only man in my small world and I feel grateful about it.... I do not know what I should do, what is going to happen....please help me... What will happen is, you will lose your husband. Find another job. Now Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Are you in the US? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ls7878 Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 why ? Does location matter? Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 why ? Does location matter? In the US there are agencies you could go to to report him and to help protect you at work from ramifications. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ls7878 Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 Thank you for your advice. I will try to find another job. Because even I report him, I still need to find another job right? From my experience, it is Mutual...those girls slept with each of my bosses...they seduce them...hunt them down...this is their words: “I will hunt him down”...they feel so proud of themselves that each boss hunted down by them.... I haven’t seen any men can refuse the seduction yet...and these girl got promoted and raises....No one really care who really did a good dedicated job. Maybe hardworking is the most funny joke in the world.... I just wish my next work environment is not like this... Link to post Share on other sites
matt1221 Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Sounds like sexual harassment Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyKatLady Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 He doesn't even sound appealing...but, it is your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts