After 34 years of feeling different, i got diagnosed with autism

[silk]

Hey guys,

 

Im a 34 year old male. I got diagnosed with high functioning autism this year. All my life i have been feeling different. I have always trying to find an answer to why i feel different. But i never touched upon the subject of Autism. I always thought artists are weirdos. apparently not. Thats me. But on the high function scale.

 

My biggest problems in life so far is the social aspects. Feeling emotions and caring for other people. I always felt that i care more for hobbies such as making music, more than i care for people. I feel music more than anything else in my life. I also care more for animals than people. I express myself better at writing or through music than words.

 

Biggest issue with my autism so far? no relationships so far. No girlfriends. Even if i constantly get shown interest by girls i push them away. Because even when i date, the girls find my interesting, but i do not. I feel socialising is draining and the dating part is especially draining.

 

I feel most comfortable being at home, listening to music, doing music, working on some projects. It gets lonely pretty often. Maybe i should start dating more? I haven’t really dated for 3 years now. used to date quite a lot. Girls show interest. But not me.

 

Any inputs?

[preraph]

Glad you got diagnosed. It's funny the way you describe yourself as liking animals more than people and being most attached to music. I'm that way, but I'm not autistic. Music and animals are my two big loves and focus. I still had some relationships but wasn't very good at them in any conventional way, though some aspects of them were fulfilling to me and made me value myself more as a person.

 

I just recommend you do what I did and mainly strive to meet people who are into the same music you are so that you have that passion in common. Honestly, it's about the only glue any of relationships had. Whatever works! And be sure they like animals. I've had a couple of friends who really didn't like them and one ex who would as soon not messed with them but wasn't mean about them. So that's not anything you can assume, that's for sure. What I found is my most people-social friends, you know, those who were really good at being social and had lots of acquaintances are the ones who also didn't care about animals. Their loss, right? I wouldn't trade mine for any one of them!

[littleblackheart]

Hi fellow ASD!

 

For one, only date if that's what you genuinely want to do, not because you feel some sort of pressure to do it.

 

I am ASD diagnosed and I couldn't care less for dating or being in a relationship. I was married (stupidly the only thing I did in my life that was 'like everyone else', mostly to please my parents) to the only guy I've had a LTR with - I failed to see he was an abuser, I then stopped myself from leaving him countless times because of the vows I'd made, had children, finally cottoned on to how dysfunctional my relationship was after more abuse and serial cheating discovery (my family had to stage a sort of 'intervention' to help me see the light), I took my kids and left.

 

I've never felt lonely on my own though (only with other people!) but I don't think loneliness in itself is enough of a reason to be dating. If you want to be in a relationship, then date away and wait for that someone who will blow your mind (and will be happy to accommade the whole ASD scenario).

 

Good luck!