Having a hard time with this

[Ta222]

When my ex dumped me he told me he doesn't want to live in the city after he graduates and would feel horrible if I moved cities for him like he did for his ex and it was horrible and was all alone when it didn't work out and doesn't want that to happen to me although a couple months prior he was all about it.

 

Anyways he told me he loved me and am the only person he cares about as he was crying. I tried to understand and bargain almost but he wasn't budging he didn't even want to try no matter what I said. I asked him if he loved me and he said yes and that he thought it would be better if we ended it now rather than things keep getting better and it'll be harder when he moves. After I'm balling my eyes out he is consoling and holding me telling me I'm going to be okay. Then he says let's go eat! Who says that?? I said does it look like I want to eat right now?

 

So i walk out of his house and he follows me and hugs me kisses me on my head and says please don't hate me. At this point I tell him I can't because I believed his excuse. Well he insists on having dinner a week later after he gets back from thanksgiving break with his family. So we go to this dinner and I asked him if it was truly the reason why he wanted to end things and he says yes absolutely. At this point I'm still believing him and I got super emotional and let it all out and be vulnerable. I told him no one ever made me feel so loved before. I asked him did I not make you happy anymore etc etc and he said I absolutely did make him happy. He said he meant everything he said to me in regards to marriage, kids and a future but couldn't go do it.

 

He then told me he has no interest in dating anyone for awhile and told me I'm only the second person he's ever loved and that he's really worried about me. He said he wants me to find something that makes me happy etc etc. it felt like he was pittying me? He called me stubborn and I told him don't make it seem like you were all of my happiness I said you just hurt me on another level. Well if some of you have seen my previous threads he got into a new relationship with someone I have no idea who she is or where she came from and he blocked me on most social medias and completely discarded me after saying he wanted me in his life.

 

It has been hard for me that I let it all out and was that vulnerable and told him everything about how I feel and it didn't mean jack to him! It feels like he did this to ease his guilt and not because he cared or loved me. It makes me upset that I was nothing but honest and he lied to my face multiple times.

 

We were together nearly six months and he did love bomb me and move the relationship very fast and that is a lesson I have learned that that is a serious red flag with someone declaring their feelings like that so early. Also he was married before me and divorced 3-4 months prior to meeting me which I didn't know he was divorced. Everything was great until the last two weeks where he distanced himself and even a few times made some rude comments then he just did this 180 on me.

 

I'm upset with myself in a way for being that open with my feelings when it feels like he just did these things to ease his own guilt or so he didn't look like the bad guy? I know if he really did love me he wouldn't have left but to make it seem like he genuinely cared and would always be there for me to just completely discarding and forgetting about me makes me feel horrible

Edited February 11, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[d0nnivain]

At 6 months he probably just didn't want to date you anymore.

 

 

His reasons -- trying to make this about him being altruistic & not wanting you to move for him -- are designed to make him feel better about the break up.

 

 

Reality: he's finishing up his educational career & wants to do it as a single guy who is free to start the next chapter of his life unencumbered by a GF.

Sorry.