el_boogie Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 i know i need some advice, but i've been putting off this message for a little while. maybe it's because i can never figure out how to sum up my dilemna in a four-or-five-paragraph forum post. or maybe it's because i'm trying to ignore the problem because i'm tired of all the pain that comes along with it. but regardless, i need to tell you my story in the hopes that maybe someone will have endured the same and will be able to help. i met eddie on the first day of our freshman year in high school and we've been "best friends" ever since. of course, i've had much stronger feelings for him all along that persisted even throughout a relationship with another guy (that's over now). i've heard on two occassions (once recently and once three years ago) that he has feelings for me too, but that's hard to believe because it seems to completely contradict the way he acts around me. we're completely open with each other - we know absolutely everything about each other except, of course, how we feel about each other. all along, my issue has been about starting a relationship with eddie. but it's become a classic love song story...i would die for him, but he wouldn't care if i died. he's never even gone so far as to call me his best friend, and when the subject of death came up once, he said he wouldn't be too emotional if i died. we're both leaving for college soon, and he's pretty much already told me that if he goes to college far away he won't miss me at all. i feel like he won't open up his heart to me when he already owns mine. so why does he always want to hang out with me? is it just to keep up appearances? he doesn't have many friends, so maybe it's just for show. i guess the smart thing to do would be to try to forget about him and maintain my sanity...but i can't seem to do that. i really do love eddie. and i thrive on hope. he's always dangling bait, asking me if i want to hang out or throwing in a sentence or two that makes me think he really cares. so why won't anything happen between us? sorry if this didn't make much sense...i'm not great with words. but if anyone could offer even the smallest bit of advice it would be very, very greatly appreciated. thanks you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 all the things that he said to you is not indicative of whether he has feelings for you or not. Also, I'm a little confused. You said you two are completely open with one another except how you feel for each other. Then you said ... 'i feel like he won't open up his heart to me when he already owns mine' He doesn't know he already owns your heart, so how can he open up his heart to you? He could very well like you and yet put up a facade just cos he doesn't know how you feel..... ?? No matter, thing is ... you're off to college soon, so if you do pursue this as a LDR, you need to consider that it could add more stress in your life in college. Plus, you're gonna meet a lot of new people in college too, so you might be depriving yourself of finding someone in college. LDRs are hard to maintain. And, once you're off to college, and you don't need to see him everyday, the feeling you have for him will most likely die off. I know it's hard to imagine at this point of time, but it'll happen. I have a feeling that you need to hear from him that he has feelings for you. This may give you closure. If that's the case, you really have nothing to lose, since you're going your separate ways soon, to ask him. Believe me, regardless of what his answer may be, you'll be glad you asked when you look back years from now. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author el_boogie Posted August 26, 2005 Author Share Posted August 26, 2005 hey thanks so much...i think i forgot to mention that we still have a year of high school left though. but regardless, maybe you are right about him putting up a facade...thanks so much for taking the time to reply here Link to post Share on other sites
Shey Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 Maybe it's just me here, but if somebody who was supposedly one of my best friends told me that they wouldn't miss me when I/they go away to college or that they wouldn't be hurt much if I died, I don't think I would consider them much of a friend at all, let alone a potential boyfriend... I think that it is best in this situation for you to focus on things other than Eddie, like your school and what you want to do in life. From the sounds of it, you are wasting your time & energy on a guy that doesn't appreciate you. You can do better hun... Link to post Share on other sites
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