back together...neccesary to discuss hooks-ups in detail?

[pearlsasinger]

My boyfriend and I recently got back together after being broken up for 6 months. For the most part, it was a mutual break up, mainly because he would be moving. I'm really happy, but there have been a few obstacles in giving it a second chance.

 

At one point during our breakup, I was sort of dating someone for a few weeks. A mutual friend told him that this guy and I were kissing in my car one night and that she thought we were dating. When he heard about it, he called and blew up at me. He also told me that he had hooked up with three girls. I guess he wanted to make me jealous/hurt too. Anyway, the next day he apologized for everything, realized how immature he was acting, and said he was happy for me.

 

Fast forward to now. Back together about a week and everything's been great. At one point I asked him if he's going to get tested...I didn't know what he did (other than he "hooked up" with 3 girls), didn't want to know, but I told him I got tested at my annual pap (came back negative) and that maybe he should too just to be safe.

 

He said okay. But the fact that I said I got tested made him wonder more about what I did with other guys when we were broken up and a couple days later he confronted me about it. He wanted me to tell him everything I did with any other guys while we were apart. I didn't expect him to ask me, nor did I want to share this information in detail for obvious reasons. As long as I got tested, why did he need to know specifics? I didn't want to know about his hookups. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

 

It just seems like he has such a double standard for males and females...he was quite upset that one of the guys I made out with I didn't know that well (he was an aquaintence). But he had done a lot more than I did, including had sex with his ex and had sex with our mutual friend. It hurt me so much that he slept with our friend. I've been friends with her for 7 years and all along the breakup she knew I still missed him, yet she still did it (actually she introduced us). I will never be able to face her the same way.

 

It just made me wonder, was I obligated to tell him every detail about my sexual encounters if we had been broken up for 6 months?

 

All I got out of it was feeling really jealous about what he told me he did, and guilty about what I told him I did. He's said it's done and erased, but I'm having a harder time moving on.

 

Also, I would NEVER cheat while we were together, nor have I ever been tempted to when we were together. But I think he's going to be more paranoid I might now.

[alphamale]

i suggest you BOTH keep your mouths shut otherwise what you do end up saying can and will be used against you in the future....guaranteed.

[Art_Critic]

I second Alpha's advice.. By talking about the who/what stuff only bad things can come from it

[reservoirdog1]

I say that whatever the two of you did with others when you were broken up is none of the other person's business. Either of you may feel like telling the other, but you have no right to use it against each other if you want to be together. If either of you can't deal with it, then you should end things now.