preraph Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 I know it's mixed now, but if someone just wants a hookup, Tinder is still one of the two main places to go. He knew you were trying to get to know him or whatever, and all he was doing was trying to sell you his fit body. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 (edited) Yeah , l agree with a lot here and the tinder hook up mentality reputation. The burn out and don't bother thing too. See years ago or even in the right country now had've that been in RL , he would''ve tried more if he was interested. But women have trained guys not to even bother these days in a lot of places , but then they wonder why he doesn.t. You got one of those, he was off, all too much work and he couldn't be bothered pushing on whne you said goodnight. They were saying in some thread, oh in this country guys still approach a girl, well the women there still have some old school and know how to do this yet all the girls say oh l wish they would here. Well they don't have to, women there have taught them that that he can sit back and expect her to do the work, then the women complain. You got one of those he probably just went on to an easier one. Edited February 14, 2018 by Chilli 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted February 15, 2018 Author Share Posted February 15, 2018 Word.... It was a nothing burger, yet the OP reacted as if she was left at the altar.. Just relax and stay calm... TFY yes, I don't know why I reacted so extremely to situations. I looked up the symptoms of hysteria, SAD, paranoid...it seems I don't have the physical symptoms, except when things happened my brain just seemed couldn't function and felt like about to explode. I couldn't do anything else, kind of like paralyzed...Maybe I should really study some zen and Buddhism? but after seeing people's opinion/advise/consolation/sympathy/criticism in this forum, I was able to put things in perspective somehow and calmed down though. so maybe I just don't have support system in real life? and that I am very insecure and some degree of paranoid? I don't know... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted February 15, 2018 Author Share Posted February 15, 2018 (edited) This isn't about dealing with men - this is about dealing with people. The contact you had should be an exchange of information. Question and Answer. Being engaging and interesting. Getting to know a guy is truly no different to getting to know a woman. When you say that you're egocentric, do you mean that you're really only interested in talking about yourself? That you want to bring back all conversations to be about you? If so, it's great that you recognise this fault. Question is: what are you doing to become more personable? I don't think I am only interested in talking about myself. I think I am personable. I think I am a caring and compassionate person. but I am not really sure. what I meant was I am so used to be alone and living in my own universe, that I don't see things in other people's perspective and I assume they know me and know what I meant when I say something without going to great details. but the reality is what I say can be interpreted quite differently by other people. maybe I need to polish my communication skills? and leave no room to make wrong assumptions by others? I think I can if I don't kid myself and be more thoughtful...damn this takes mental hard-work. sometimes I just tend to be lazy mentally. maybe I am too much of a free spirited? but oh, boy...people are not easy to deal with...and I don't like hard work... Edited February 15, 2018 by Springsummer 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted February 15, 2018 Author Share Posted February 15, 2018 That's the problem with OLD. They don't know you. They make judgement and assumptions. I really doubt OLD will work for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Ive had deeper conversations standing in line at McDonalds. The problem isnt him. You have way too much expectations of people. Dial it back a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 My impression was that when he asked what you were doing he was expecting you to reply that you wanted him to come over & not watch the Olympics with you. (i.e he wanted immediate sex). When that didn't happen, he found a more willing play mate. OLD is not reliable. Add ways into your real life to meet people. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 So, this guy on Tinder msg me. He seems pretty awesome. The convo went similar to this: He: what are you doing? Me: watching women snowboard halfpipe. you? He: watching movies ....(a few minutes later) Me: so you go to gym 5 times a week? that's cool. I only managed 1-3 times a week. He: I try my best. Me: I need to go to now He: where? He: which gym you go to? Me: gym...I really need to push myself hard. easily to be lazy. Me: good night then. He: good night... 2 hours later, I came back from the gym and looked at tinder. boom.......he was gone (unmatched) Well, if you hadnt noticed. Half of all the people on dating sites post shirtless photos of themselves, women holding a camera up to take their own photo, and 90% of people are at the gym. No wonder he unmatched you. He though you where playing with him. Also the conversation ended when you said "Good night". Thats such a closed statement no one can bring you back as youve stated youve gone. You could of sign posted him and said Bye for now but I ll be back back 8pm. Chat then? He unmatched you thinking your conversation didnt go anywhere. You need to try harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts