Susieqqq Posted February 15, 2018 Posted February 15, 2018 I dated my ex for a little over a year, and 2 months ago he broke up with me. 1 month after the breakup, I asked him if he wanted to try again. He said no, he couldn’t commit. I tried going low contact for a little while, and eventually stopped because he was getting increasingly hostile. He complained to his friends that I was chasing him and that we were over and done. I’ve been in NC for almost 3 weeks now, and just 4 days ago he admitted to his guy friends that he may want to get back together with me. His friend told me, so I could contact him and try to reconcile. However, since I was the dumpee, and I tried multiple times already, I think he should be the one to make the first move. His friend has been nudging him to initiate, and to do it soon; and his response was along the lines of “if I decide to do anything, you’ll find out.” This was 4 days ago. He hates being pressured, so I told his friend to stop pushing him. My question is, do I just sit back and let this happen (or not)? It’s just frustrating that I know he’s trying to make a decision and I can’t do anything about it. It’s frankly amazing that he’s even considering it, because in his past relationships he’s never looked back. I feel like he’s within reach and it’s driving me crazy!
enliven Posted February 15, 2018 Posted February 15, 2018 Give it another while I say. The reconciliation should always come from the dumper.
springy Posted February 15, 2018 Posted February 15, 2018 No, no, no...do not break NC. Your silence and the space you have given is what has him thinking, and you are too overly anxious to start that conversation again. Recall that you pushing for recon is what annoyed him before. If he wants to reconcile then allow him to make that move. In the meantime perhaps his friend should not be sharing that information with you. Many people have moments of questioning whether to recon or not after a break up. This may or may not translate to actually wanting to give it another go. If that is truly what he wants you will hear from him. You putting the rush on due to information you really shouldn't even be privy to could mess up whatever it is he is processing IMO. Stay NC. 1
preraph Posted February 15, 2018 Posted February 15, 2018 He may just want to get back to see if he can and for sex. It certainly doesn't sound like he's been very nice to you. My best sage advice is you start dating other guys and forget about him and don't take him back.
zawadi16 Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 Give it another while I say. The reconciliation should always come from the dumper. What about if the dumper came back a week later to reconcile, but you told them no out of anger & hurt-is it still up to the dumper to try again?
xUnknown Posted February 22, 2018 Posted February 22, 2018 (edited) Give it another while I say. The reconciliation should always come from the dumper. I disagree. Most times, yes....however, if one person pushed you away or became distant and you finally got fed up and ended it for the way you were being treated, then I'd say its for them to reconcile to you. I would never go back to someone I ended it with who pushed me away and say "hey, even though you pushed me away and I finally stood my ground to end things with you, would you want to try again though you haven't shown any interest in making things work since you pushed me away?" Nah, I've got more self respect than that, and I would hope others would too. I'm currently in this situation where I ended things for being treated unfairly and she finally realized her loss and tried to reconcile. After trying again once and having the same happen again, it wouldn't magically fix itself and work the third. Edited February 22, 2018 by xUnknown
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