am i jealous of my boyfriend

[curious cat]

i am wondering if it is possible to be jealous or envious of your own boyfriend? my boyfriend is a 5'2 dynamo. he sets goals and gets to them, he plans to do things and actually does them. he makes plans for us and actually keeps them. everyone likes him, he is friendly and personable. he has alot of friends and gets along well with everybody. i was watching him last night singing karaoke and his dad was smiling so hard, obviously so pleased and proud of his son. then i got to wondering, why do i feel hostile towards him alot of the time?

 

i thought about all that he does that i never do, of all the things he gets after me about to help me, how much i've learned about responsibility from him and business from him. i thought how i hate him at times and maybe those are times when i feel jealous or envious cause i am not like him at all, nothing at all like him, i don't know why he is with me sometimes cause i am so different from him.

 

this is a new revelation to me and could actually be the cause of some of our problems, is that possible? if so how can i handle this new found insight? any ideas? am i wrong to feel slighted towards him, jealous or envious?

 

it causes me some anger to feel this way, i really respect alot about him yet hate alot about him and refer to him as egotistical, selfrighteous, conceded, selfcentered, and arrogant. i think he is all these things, but i think because he has such high selfesteem, he actually exudes selfesteem and i wish it would rub off on me more so that is why he can be all these ways. does that make sense? any advice and or insight would be much appreciated.

[kikie]

here's my opinion:

 

it sounds like u could learn a lot from him, and high self-esteem in a partner is great - it all depends on his attitude. if he is arrogant and sort of puts u down by his successes ... that's bad for u! ... I mean it's great that he's doing well, but do u feel like he's rubbing it into yr face that he's done than u when he tells u about it??

 

he sounds like a cool person but can he make U FEEL good?? do u feel like a woman with him? do u feel loved? or is he too self-centered to love someone else? is your love (?) for him another success or something he truly cherishes??

 

I think u gotta analyze his attitudes towards U. And if those are okay - cool, learn from him! ... if they are not -you could attempt to fix them ... but i guess it'd be hard! ... Just remember to have your own life. He has lots of friends? I bet they're all just acquaintances. U only have a few? well, don't u think they're more like _real friends?? Just look at stuff like that...

 

Good luck!!!

[Miss Mojo]

i agree with kikie.

 

you obviously have self-esteem issues here...but you must be a pretty awesome person to land such an awesome boyfriend, right?

 

your boyfriend is the kind of person who could inspire you to have such a positive outlook on life....these kind of people can't help but rub off on you.

 

i'd be proud if i had a boyfriend like this. the only way you can feel threatened by him is if you let yourself be threatened by him.

 

confidence and positivity are a *huge* turn-on to people....it's quite likely your boyfriend saw a certain amount of this in you when you met.

 

work on your insecurities. write down what you like about yourself, what your boyfriend likes about you, what your friends like about you, and be that person that they all like.....the only thing that will cause you to lose your boyfriend is if you lose sight of yourself and the green-eyed monster steps in.

 

like kikie said, if he's arrogant, you don't need that...but then again, the only person who can make you feel anything is yourself. if he's not treating you like you deserve to be treated, you have the choice of whether or not to stay in that situation. but if he's treating you great, then you have nothing to worry about.

 

sure, people might admire him, but *you're* the lucky one who got the guy. revel in it, revel in who you are as a person, and you will find yourself feeling a lot less threatened by his personality when you have no reason to be.