SunnyWeather Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Two different men. I think I've been VERY clear that I understand my responsibility, my wrong doing, my sin, or whatever you want to call it, related to the guy who was married. He is most definitely a player and a smooth operator. But this guy is not like that at all, if you read my first few posts I describe him. This guy is not married. Although he "sees" one particular woman and has for a long time it is NOT a committed relationship. They are both free to "see" others. I'm not waiting around for him in any way, shape or form. I DID wait around for the xMM, so I KNOW what that looks and feels like. As I said, I don't think either of us are sure how we feel anyway. I think on this forum the fact that I was involved in an affair forever taints anything else I do or say. I'm working hard to move on from the affair and I have a full and busy life outside of that one experience. no judgement here. just pointing out a pattern that suggests a willingness to get into scenarios where you are an option. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 I’m not sure why you’re so forward with him in so many ways. If I were him, money is exactly what I’d think you were after. Do you not believe in letting the guy make the first few moves? It’s like you don’t trust men to think for themselves. I know I’m very traditional in this sense but it’s because chasing after men typically backfires. I’d suggest that you step back and see if he asks you out. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 no judgement here. just pointing out a pattern that suggests a willingness to get into scenarios where you are an option. Maybe unavailability is the key. Is not "I am in an open arrangement" not the runner up to "My wife doesn't understand me..." ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FMW Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 I’m not sure why you’re so forward with him in so many ways. If I were him, money is exactly what I’d think you were after. Do you not believe in letting the guy make the first few moves? It’s like you don’t trust men to think for themselves. I know I’m very traditional in this sense but it’s because chasing after men typically backfires. I’d suggest that you step back and see if he asks you out. I think you misread my post - HE asked me, without any prompting. The invitation came out of the blue, I wasn't being forward or asking for it. That's why I was surprised. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FMW Posted November 12, 2018 Author Share Posted November 12, 2018 no judgement here. just pointing out a pattern that suggests a willingness to get into scenarios where you are an option. Fair enough. I think it might have to do with my own emotional unavailability. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 S I intend to just keep enjoying the friendship, but I thought it was just odd and so if anyone has any thoughts I'd be interested. He's 54, she's 38 (and a mutual male friend told me she was "hot"). I think you have all your answers here. Guys into younger and hot women if they can. obviously in this case he can. Except if you look much younger and hot in your age, the chances are, he wants her body and your company. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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