dogloverof2 Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 (edited) ****Don’t waste time trying to figure out where you went wrong; just make the necessary corrections and set yourself back on track. The most important thing is hearing what isn’t said.*** I read this, this morning and thought it was kinda fitting for me, since I allowed myself to get tangled up in an emotional affair... No matter "how good" I think I am doing since it ended, almost 2 1/2 years ago....I think I will always have a teeny,tiny part of me that will remain curious about him and his life... and yes, as I admit my fault, I do from time to time look at his wife's social media page and yes I have seen some lovey, dovey, happy couple pictures of them together. Why do I need to look at it??.....I don't know.... One day it won't matter anymore..kinda thought I'd be at that point now... But there has been no communication at all between us, and will never be again.... Thanks for listening to me ramble........ Edited February 17, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Clarify title; move to GRD Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 Block them both on all social media. Once you get out of the habit of looking, he (and their lives) won't be on your mind anymore. You're keeping the memory of him alive by spying on their pages, which in turn is actually preventing you from really moving on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted February 17, 2018 Author Share Posted February 17, 2018 Block them both on all social media. Once you get out of the habit of looking, he (and their lives) won't be on your mind anymore. You're keeping the memory of him alive by spying on their pages, which in turn is actually preventing you from really moving on. What you said is totally the truth. I AM creating my own inability of moving on. Thank you for your reply... Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 I was purchasing a book on-line. And you know how the web-site makes "suggestions" about other books you may be interested in... Well, my ex had written a book and it was in those "suggestions". I don't know why the web-site would suggest her book, as the one I was purchasing was on a different subject. Anyway, I DIDN'T click the link to read the description about her book, nor did I do any further research. I stopped, took a deep breath, and told myself "I was glad she got her book published" and I moved on. I didn't want to drag myself into those "feelings" or go down memory lane or ruin my day. I didn't want to give her any "power" over me. She no longer controlled me or my actions in any way, shape or form. I wasn't going to go back down the path of re-analyzing my actions and second guessing my choices or decisions. Nope, wasn't going to do it. I turned off my computer and went on with the rest of my day. If you feel yourself wanting to "click" on the web-site with the pictures, turn off the computer and go do something else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 Accept the path gone by and live in the now. Water long under the bridge for myself but I noted rehashing the forensics and trying to put meaning to things simply stalled out recovery and moving on. Unfinished business ended up being a significant blockage to accepting the path and living in the now. Therapy provided some tools and likely age and life experience helped too. Best wishes in your journey and part of acceptance is letting go of all facets of the past. Let it go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 I was purchasing a book on-line. And you know how the web-site makes "suggestions" about other books you may be interested in... Well, my ex had written a book and it was in those "suggestions". I don't know why the web-site would suggest her book, as the one I was purchasing was on a different subject. Anyway, I DIDN'T click the link to read the description about her book, nor did I do any further research. I stopped, took a deep breath, and told myself "I was glad she got her book published" and I moved on. I didn't want to drag myself into those "feelings" or go down memory lane or ruin my day. I didn't want to give her any "power" over me. She no longer controlled me or my actions in any way, shape or form. I wasn't going to go back down the path of re-analyzing my actions and second guessing my choices or decisions. Nope, wasn't going to do it. I turned off my computer and went on with the rest of my day. If you feel yourself wanting to "click" on the web-site with the pictures, turn off the computer and go do something else. Good for you. I have always second guessing my choices and decisions. Gotta stop. Everything happened for a reason. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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