Author natashalove Posted February 28, 2018 Author Share Posted February 28, 2018 No one knows that except for the only two people involved in that situation -- your ex and the other woman. I dont understand 1 thing. They only met for 2 weeks. Then what made them hold onto each other after all this time? Why couldnt he build this connection with me :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 (edited) I dont understand 1 thing. They only met for 2 weeks. Then what made them hold onto each other after all this time? Why couldnt he build this connection with me :/ He couldn't build that connection with you because he didn't feel the same way about you. I've had several relationships in my life and men have left me and moved on to other women, and built their lives with them. Does that mean that I wasn't valuable or worthy? No, it just means that they weren't compatible for me and that my journey was leading me elsewhere -- and it has and now I see why life happened the way it did. Relationships end. Whether through a breakup, a divorce, death, the prospect of a new love interest -- it ends. You're going to go through loss again and it's going to hurt. Not every man that comes into your life is going to stay with you indefinitely. Not every man that comes into your life is going be the one. When they do leave you, the rejection is painful but the lesson is to never allow it to define your worth. She's not better than you nor are you better than her. You're two different women and unfortunately he feels he is better suited and feels he has a better connection with her. It has happened to most of us on LS. And if he chooses her, that is not a reflection on you. Edited February 28, 2018 by Zahara Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 28, 2018 Author Share Posted February 28, 2018 He couldn't build that connection with you because he didn't feel the same way about you. I've had several relationships in my life and men have left me and moved on to other women, and built their lives with them. Does that mean that I wasn't valuable or worthy? No, it just means that they weren't compatible for me and that my journey was leading me elsewhere -- and it has and now I see why life happened the way it did. Relationships end. Whether through a breakup, a divorce, death, the prospect of a new love interest -- it ends. You're going to go through loss again and it's going to hurt. Not every man that comes into your life is going to stay with you indefinitely. Not every man that comes into your life is going be the one. When they do leave you, the rejection is painful but the lesson is to never allow it to define your worth. She's not better than you nor are you better than her. You're two different women and unfortunately he feels he is better suited and feels he has a better connection with her. It has happened to most of us on LS. And if he chooses her, that is not a reflection on you. Well what was so striking about her that he couldnt get over her after all these months. That bugs me. Why even date me when he still had her somewhere in his heart or mind Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Well what was so striking about her that he couldnt get over her after all these months. That bugs me. Why even date me when he still had her somewhere in his heart or mind It was an attraction that he had -- you can't control how someone feels about another. Unfortunately, sometimes people date to get over someone. It happens but better you knew 4 months in rather than later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted February 28, 2018 Author Share Posted February 28, 2018 It was an attraction that he had -- you can't control how someone feels about another. Unfortunately, sometimes people date to get over someone. It happens but better you knew 4 months in rather than later. But it didnt work for him at all. Otherwise why would he go and talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 But it didnt work for him at all. Otherwise why would he go and talk to her. Natasha, you are obsessing. He told you he still has feelings for her. He ended the relationship. You don't want to be with someone that feels for another while in a relationship with you. Stop trying to figure out what, when and how. You'll never get the answers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 Natasha, you are obsessing. He told you he still has feelings for her. He ended the relationship. You don't want to be with someone that feels for another while in a relationship with you. Stop trying to figure out what, when and how. You'll never get the answers. Hes still not with her. He was only being nice? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Hes still not with her. He was only being nice? He does not want a relationship with you. Period. Everything else is irrelevant. I’m not sure why it’s been so hard for you to focus on that one, most important fact but rather you’re skirting around that and obsessing over details that do not matter. He’s still not choosing to be with you even though he isn’t with her. And stop stalking there lives. Focus on your own. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 He does not want a relationship with you. Period. Everything else is irrelevant. I’m not sure why it’s been so hard for you to focus on that one, most important fact but rather you’re skirting around that and obsessing over details that do not matter. He’s still not choosing to be with you even though he isn’t with her. And stop stalking there lives. Focus on your own. Forget about me. As everyone said he likes her so im asking about them. The universities in uk had 1 month strike so he hasnt been there and he hasnt seen her coz students arent coming. Is that why? I mean what makes you think so strongly he likes her? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Forget about me. As everyone said he likes her so im asking about them. The universities in uk had 1 month strike so he hasnt been there and he hasnt seen her coz students arent coming. Is that why? I mean what makes you think so strongly he likes her? You’re asking questions that no one can answer, EXCEPT HIM. No one on this planet can tell you what’s going on in his head. No one can give you the answers to your obsessive questions about his every move. Unless you’re tied to his and her hip 24/7, stop speculating their every move. What’s apparent, fact and reality is that he does not want a relationship with you AND he told you he has feelings for her = he likes/loves her. Whether it’s the reason as to why he ended with you, ONLY HE KNOWS. His feelings for YOU however aren’t strong enough to make him want to be with you. This is your REALITY. Move forward with what you know. The rest is all irrelevant noise in your head. Your ego can’t stand that he may be choosing someone else over you. It’s happened to mostly all of us at some point in our life. You accept it and move on. You don’t sit there and obsess over their every move because you absolutely cannot embrace being rejected. The sooner you learn how to deal with, the sooner you heal and move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Forget about me. As everyone said he likes her so im asking about them. The universities in uk had 1 month strike so he hasnt been there and he hasnt seen her coz students arent coming. Is that why? I mean what makes you think so strongly he likes her? Your answers are in the information you provided in this thread, OP. This isn't about him or her anymore. It's about your unwillingness to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 You’re asking questions that no one can answer, EXCEPT HIM. No one on this planet can tell you what’s going on in his head. No one can give you the answers to your obsessive questions about his every move. Unless you’re tied to his and her hip 24/7, stop speculating their every move. What’s apparent, fact and reality is that he does not want a relationship with you AND he told you he has feelings for her = he likes/loves her. Whether it’s the reason as to why he ended with you, ONLY HE KNOWS. His feelings for YOU however aren’t strong enough to make him want to be with you. This is your REALITY. Move forward with what you know. The rest is all irrelevant noise in your head. Your ego can’t stand that he may be choosing someone else over you. It’s happened to mostly all of us at some point in our life. You accept it and move on. You don’t sit there and obsess over their every move because you absolutely cannot embrace being rejected. The sooner you learn how to deal with, the sooner you heal and move on. Well his feelings for her are not stromg enough either? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Well what was so striking about her that he couldnt get over her after all these months. That bugs me. Why even date me when he still had her somewhere in his heart or mind It could be any number of things but most likely he has better chemistry with her and can't get over her. He was trying to date others hoping his feelings for her would fade and go away; but they didn't. It has nothing to do with you or what you did or didn't do. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Well his feelings for her are not stromg enough either? What is it that you are not getting? If he said he still has feelings for her that is all you need to know. Why they aren't together (at this point and time) is their business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 It could be any number of things but most likely he has better chemistry with her and can't get over her. He was trying to date others hoping his feelings for her would fade and go away; but they didn't. It has nothing to do with you or what you did or didn't do. How are u so sure his feelings for her didnt fade?I 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 How are u so sure his feelings for her didnt fade?I No one can help you, Natasha. You're chasing your own tail. This obsession you have is very unhealthy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 How are u so sure his feelings for her didnt fade?I Because he outright told you he has feelings for her. Either he was lying or just using any excuse to be done with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 Because he outright told you he has feelings for her. Either he was lying or just using any excuse to be done with you. Actions speak louder than words. Hes not going to her. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Actions speak louder than words. Hes not going to her. You are correct. Actions do speak louder than words and he isn't nor wants to be with you. I hope you heal soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 You only spoke to her for 5 minutes once, would even remember her and talk to her if you see her after many months? (If you liked her ALOT) Would you talk to her again or even remember her face after not being in contact all these months? Why would a guy talk to a girl he liked again when the last time he chatted with her for only 5 mins , was not friends with her and it was months ago when they talked and he was never in touch with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Agonistes Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 You only spoke to her for 5 minutes once, would even remember her and talk to her if you see her after many months? (If you liked her ALOT) Would you talk to her again or even remember her face after not being in contact all these months? Why would a guy talk to a girl he liked again when the last time he chatted with her for only 5 mins , was not friends with her and it was months ago when they talked and he was never in touch with her? Why would he not? Has there been any bad blood that would make talking uncomfortable now? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Is there a missing part to this story? I would talk to an old acquaintance (or crush) if I ran into him again. This doesn't seem unusual to me unless there is something more that you've left out of your OP. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 Why would he not? Has there been any bad blood that would make talking uncomfortable now? No I mean why would anyone talk to an old crush? Like specifically go to the place where shes sitting, stare at her and then talk to her? He wanted to date her but couldnt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 Is there a missing part to this story? I would talk to an old acquaintance (or crush) if I ran into him again. This doesn't seem unusual to me unless there is something more that you've left out of your OP. Would you do it if you had a girlfriend? Like specifically go to where shes sittingn stare and make eye contact with her and then talk to her? They werent friends or proper acquaintance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natashalove Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/653168-he-dumped-me Full story here Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts