"its like the Jerry Springer Show...."

[PnC1479]

I met "Jerry" in 2001 while she was still in high school and I was 18. I had a buddy who was a couple years younger than me and Jerry was the friend of my buddies girlfriend, "Regan". Jerry would come over to my house with Regan and my friend, or I would see her at parties. Jerry was in my mind at that time a wall flower. Not only was she younger than me, but she was shy and somewhat unsure of herself. My buddy broke up with Regan and to my shock she called me up several weeks later and told me she broke up with him because she started having feelings for me and asked me what i thought about that.

 

Flabbergasted, I replied that despite feeling a little uncomfortable about dating my friends ex, I could not resist as she was quite attractive. I had recently ended a long term relationship and saw this as a good opportunity for a rebound. I didnt really see the relationship as serious nor expected it to last long. However Regan became pregnant. She moved in with me and 9 months later my first daughter was born. Regan and i lived together for 6 years but it was not a happy one. I never had very strong feelings for her and aspects of her personality never grew on me. About a year after Regan and I called it quits, her old friend Jerry came back into the picture. We began talking to each other on a social media website. After a couple weeks of communication, we became quite close.

 

I really enjoyed talking with her. Jerry had broke her foot recently and had surgery, so when she got home from the hospital i agreed to visit her. When i went to visit her

however,Jerry dropped a bomb. She had always had a crush on me. It hit me, I had this great person near me for so long, and i was oblivious. I was totally bind, and my eyes were now open to true love for the first time. I knew at that very moment that I loved Jerry. We began a very romantic and loving relationship. Regan and my daughter took a while to warm up to the idea, but soon they realized the fact I was dating someone they both already knew, things were easier in many ways.

 

So Jerry and I got an apartment together and it wasnt more than a month later before Jerry was pregnant. We had one more daughter 2 years later and for a while things were really good. Unfortunately I became inattentive, and Jerry resentful. The combination put us in this downward spiral feedback loop that push us apart. Eventually we decided to take a break. During this time Jerry began dating another guy. We quit talking to each other completely. I began living a single mans life, drinking and partying. I quit seeing my children, I was living a promiscuous and self destructive lifestyle. Out of the blood Jerry contacted me one day and wanted to talk. She wanted to reconcile as she was unhappy in the relationship with the other man.

 

I was still quite a mess at the time and harbored animosity towards Jerry, but was very happy to restart the relationship. We saw each other for a couple months, but my anger, addictions and infidelity was too much for Jerry and she soon ran back to the other suitor. Months later i heard Jerry became pregnant with this other guy's child. I became very angry at Jerry, and continued my destructive behaviors. After several months of drinking, partying and womanizing, i came to realize none of this was making me happy. I came to terms with my faults and how they contributed to the failure of the relationship with Jerry. Even though I had destroyed everything with Jerry, I still needed to clean up, get my life together and move on. So i quit all the drugs, the alcohol and random women.

 

I started exercising and improving myself. Jerry contacted me a couple times to try to talk to me but I would always be very rude and say mean things to her. But she would just call again a week later. So i blocked her phone number. She contacted me on social media, so I would start a new account under a different name. And she would find me and start messaging me again. I finally got so fed up with her constantly hunting me down i agreed to meet with her and talk. When we sat down to talk, she tells me how unhappy she is, how she feels trapped in this other relationship, that she has cried about missing me everyday. She wanted to be back together and was willing to do anything to make it right.

 

We could go to counseling, and figure this mess out. She told me she wanted to marry me. Despite my grudge keeping nature, I could not stay mad. As i looked into her eyes full of tears, all the anger and hate I had for Jerry just melted away. She was genuinely unhappy with her life and would not be happy without me. Jerry poured her heart out to me even though she was an incredible proud person. I felt extremely sad about the whole situation. I had never felt such unconditional love for anyone besides my children. That was when i knew no matter what, I still loved Jerry. Our love was so strong that nothing could prevent us from being together, not even another man's child. We both had come to terms with each others mistakes and faults and accepted it.

 

She broke it off with the other guy and we have been talking to a couples counselor to work out all the particulars and issues with our very unconventional family. Its not an easy road to go down, but for Jerry and I, the fact we have each other is reason enough.

 

We let our pride, ego, and anger get in the way of our love. It took months of pain, loathing and mistakes for us to realize the fact we can not live without each other. Neither of us are innocent, and we hurt people in the process. I hope by telling our story it prevents others from theses same pitfalls.

 

Dont let your pride or anger prevent you from being the person you and your partner deserve to love. Dont give up on your partner at the first sign of hardship.

Edited February 20, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[CrazyKatLady]

About your last sentence-Ditto.

Have a happier future!