bradt93 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I know this maybe the wrong thing to post on this forum ,but e felt it involves women in relationships. The ex g/f of the shooter said she went out with him, because "she felt sorry for him" I also heard he had aspergers like me of course I would never murder people. My question is why would she go out with him if she felt sorry for him? Men don't need pity and to be led on. If women only wants to go out with a guy, because "she feels sorry for them" then they don't need to get out with him. It's the reason I don't pursue any relationship, because I don't want pity, I want to be treated like a normal guy. Why do women do that? I think it's pretty selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 It's the female version of KISA (Knight in Shining Armor). Caretaker personality variant. More insidious option trends to sociopathy, preying on the weak/less fortunate. That usually only occurs if the target has something of value. It could be tangible or intangible. Adoration is an intangible which comes to mind. Collectors are like that. They feed off attention from lessers (to them). Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I did a quick Google search looking for a direct quote and context, but could only find info about him being abusive to her. Have you got a link? Without the quote, I'm just guessing....but 1. it may not be true true that she felt sorry for him. She may be saying that now because she's embarrassed about making such a bad choice. 2. if she did feel sorry for him and dated him for that reason, she probably thought she was doing a good deed. Teenagers are not known for making sensible decisions. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Didn't his parents die? I think she probably meant she felt sorry for him for that reason rather than for him having Aspergers if she even meant it at all and isn't just saying that now, like basil said. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 I don't want to talk about this particular incident because I'm not her, we don't know the details, and there are a lot of obvious emotions affecting her viewpoint at the moment! But in general: If women only wants to go out with a guy, because "she feels sorry for them" then they don't need to get out with him. It's the reason I don't pursue any relationship, because I don't want pity, I want to be treated like a normal guy. Why do women do that? I think it's pretty selfish. No matter what women do they will be accused of being selfish, so they really can't win. "Why wouldn't you at least give him a chance? You might have grown to love him. Refusing is so selfish of you!" (Yes, people say that.) Sometimes people feel a burst of warm kindness towards someone and want to take care of them, and this ties into love. It's not necessarily pity in a contemptuous way, it's caring and wanting to help. Those are not bad emotions to have. Of course, if you only "love" someone because you think they are pitiful and pathetic and therefore make you feel less bad about yourself, that's not a good thing. Sometimes girls give in to a guy because he keeps pestering them and won't take no for an answer, and they're scared or just exhausted and finally agree to go along with it. They may not want to admit that they just gave up because that makes them feel weak, so they phrase it in their minds as "I went along with it because I felt sorry for him" because that makes it sound like their choice, their decision, it reframes the situation to give them power. Basically, there are a lot of complicated emotional reasons that might be involved in the situation. Even for non-aspies, untangling this sort of thing is very complicated. If you're worried about someone wanting to date you just because she feels sorry for you, first try not to look pathetic (don't beg and plead over and over again, or tell her that no one has ever loved you), and second, if you're still not sure, you might try checking with her friends to confirm that she really likes you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 As a kid, I can't begin to think of all the dumb ways I got with girls or vice versa...I mean, I could think of at least a half a dozen girls that went for me solely because I had the hottest car in the school.. Dumb kids do dumb stuff... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 She said that because he turned out to be a murderer, if he had turned out discovering a cure for cancer her story would have been different. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 She said that because he turned out to be a murderer, if he had turned out discovering a cure for cancer her story would have been different. Did she actually say it? I'm still hoping to find a direct quote and context. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Kind heart and or peer pressure. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 (edited) Yeah I’ve never heard from his exgf or even her identity made public.. Help us out, brad. Where’d you hear that Edited February 21, 2018 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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