For the people trying to find love, what is your unique selling point?

February 26, 2018

In other words, what can you provide to a potential love interest which they cannot get from anyone else? I was thinking about this today and I didn’t really have an answer.

What I would like to give is a unique experience that the girl can look back upon fondly but I’m not quite there yet. I want the girl to feel like she’s on an adventure with me; like what Christopher Columbus’ crew must have felt when trying to find a new route to Asia. I want her to feel inspired, excited, even a little scared.

So what makes you special?

I honestly think this is a good question and not one people ask themselves at all. I have asked women I've dated this and they get offended. Or answer with something vague like "I'm nice"

February 26, 2018

There's a pretty good chance I'll make you laugh more than I'll piss you off.

I'll kill your bugs and other varmints and I'm a good hand with a fence line.

February 26, 2018

I honestly think this is a good question and not one people ask themselves at all. I have asked women I've dated this and they get offended. Or answer with something vague like "I'm nice"

Yeah, I'd probably give a date the snake eye if he asked that. It's not a job interview!

February 26, 2018

I used to think my best qualities were my openness, my trusting nature, my sweetness, and my thoughtfulness, and willingness to adjust my life towards my partners life...but the last few guys I dated made it seem like bringing those qualities to the relationship were nothing special...so I have no idea what else to bring at this point and don't look to date anymore. That's just my opinion for my life though.

I'm not sure whether or not to comment because you're not asking advice. But it is a discussion board, so I will throw out a brief comment.

What you're talking about here is the female version of "Nice Guy". As in, I'm a really nice guy but can't get a date. Your qualities are all admirable ones and qualities which many people could do with more of. However, to sustain a relationship, you need a good connection on top of it. As another poster put it, a certain je ne sais quoi. Often undefinable, but essential for a good long term connection.

Happy to talk more on another thread if you want.

February 26, 2018

Most of us don't have any one "thing", but we each have a series of 5 or 6 unusual things that combine uniquely.

February 27, 2018

Most of us don't have any one "thing", but we each have a series of 5 or 6 unusual things that combine uniquely.

And it may not even be those things which really grabs the attention of a partner.

February 27, 2018

I'm old but not dead (yet - thanks Monty Python).

February 27, 2018

I honestly think this is a good question and not one people ask themselves at all. I have asked women I've dated this and they get offended. Or answer with something vague like "I'm nice"

I get why you’d ask that but I also understand why someone would feel pissed/uncomfortable answering it. It’s not particularly easy to answer either.

February 27, 2018

If I love you -

Your best interests and growth will be as important - or more important - than mine. I will have your back at all times. I will also do my best to act loving towards you ...even those times when I don't feel like it.

Thats what I am selling for love.

February 27, 2018

Unique quality that your are selling to whom?

Here is the unique selling point I want to see in a man.

One that understands me the way no other man does. One that accepts me, for me, including all of my assests and flaws.

My selling point? Well besides being a bad ass

The same. I will strive to understand him, the real him. That person behind the mask we present for everyone. I will love and cherish him, him, all of him. His beauty and strengths, his weaknesses and warts.

It's not about being Mr or Mrs right, or perfect, or most accomplished, or the longest list of desirable traits.

It's that magic connection. It's finding that person who you want to peel the layers of the onion with. Each becoming more vulnerable, and the same time enamoured with each other.

My selling point? Onion peeler / revealer.

February 27, 2018

I am a unique individual, and that plus high compatibility with a particular person is all that matters. That said, I have many great qualities that would appeal to a variety of women, enough that I will always have options if I need them.

February 27, 2018

I get why you’d ask that but I also understand why someone would feel pissed/uncomfortable answering it. It’s not particularly easy to answer either.

Yeah, I'd probably give a date the snake eye if he asked that. It's not a job interview!

To be fair it was with women who I was dating who wanted more but I didn't think we were on the same wavelength.

I totally understand the uncomfortableness. But in the same sense I think it's not something offensive, as if you're confident with yourself as a prospect then it should be something you've assessed. I know I personally do when I'm dating someone.

And I definitely think dating is an interview process! If more people treated dating like they were assessing the fit of a job role then I think there would be a lot less heart break and wasted time. I think it's interesting we have so much hubris when it comes to how we measure up to the opposite sex but we're so humble when it comes to seeking employment, but I digress.

February 27, 2018

I totally understand the uncomfortableness. But in the same sense I think it's not something offensive, as if you're confident with yourself as a prospect then it should be something you've assessed. I know I personally do when I'm dating someone.

And I definitely think dating is an interview process! If more people treated dating like they were assessing the fit of a job role then I think there would be a lot less heart break and wasted time. I think it's interesting we have so much hubris when it comes to how we measure up to the opposite sex but we're so humble when it comes to seeking employment, but I digress.

I've always been confident and successful in dating (back in the days before I was married), however, I've never once considered what in particular I have to offer. I mean, I am just like everyone else in that I'm a mix of different traits and my date may or may not like my mix of traits. And if I don't know you, how can I say what traits I have which may make us work?

Someone who conducted a date like a job interview would be an instant fail for me. I want to see if we can laugh and find common ground. Not play 20 questions.

February 27, 2018