Gf struggling and relationship on knife edge

[an0nym0us123]

Ok so been going out with a girl for almost 10 months. We are 10 years apart. She is 20 currently in uni. We were both only a few days out of a relationship with other people when we started dating. It was amazing. We fell totally in love and regularly talked about our future.

 

About 3 or 4 weeks ago we had a minor fall out and i thought we sorted it. Wed had a few other fallouts but we moved on from them quickly. This time she remained distant. She still initiates 80% of messaging but here love you/ miss you messages became less and less. I decided to confront here. To my shock she said she didnt know if it was going to work. We kind of patched it up but i felt i never got yo the truth. A week later i had to challenge her on it again as it was obvious to me something was still far wrong. She told me she needed space. I said ok but i wouldnt wait but was willing to talk when ready.

 

Next day after a few messages i found out she has basically snapped under the stress of uni and other life issues. She told me she loved me deeply and didnt think now was the time for us as she could not deal with it. Ive known since sometime she suffers from high anxiety and stress. And is currently getting help for it.

 

She told me she couldnt handle a relationship right now and it was not fair for her to expect me to wait. She also told me she was terrified that she was going to have to live without me.

 

I tried my luck and told her that now i knew the problems id work with her till she got through it. Wed just take it easy for a while. She came round to this idea and we are now basically back together but things will be a lot different. I intend to give her a lot more space.

 

I really dont know if ive done the right thing. I love her deeply but my brain tells me to get out.

 

I consider her a very genuine person. There isnt another guy. I know she loves me but shes having what seems to be a full on crisis. She also said she felt she had rushed into a new relationship to quick. Even though we discussed it at the time. So in a few days ive gone from a magical relationship to this. Any give any advice?

[road]

having fights right at the beginning

these is a mature girl to see that this is not going to work

for her

[GemmaUK]

She attempted to end things and from your post it sounds like you did a lot to talk her out of it.

If you had respected her viewpoint you wouldn't be in a pickle.

 

I suspect this will fizzle very soon.

[d0nnivain]

The allure of older men for young girls like your 20 year old GF is that you look worldly like you have life all figured out. As she's approaching graduation & starting a life of her own the shine that was attached to your solid established life style doesn't look quite so appealing. She wants to build something on her own, independently. She also knows you are probably going to want to settle down sooner then she will like as you approach your mid 30s. The gaps in your life stages are starting to become more glaring to her.

 

 

I too don't see this lasting too much longer