I want to give him a second chance,....

[bewilderedgirl278]

Hello all, let me start off with this is my first post on this forum. This post is going to be a long one. I just need somewhere to let out all my feelings and not be judged by anyone I know personally.

 

Two years ago, I met this guy. We started dating, and four months later we broke up. Our relationship basically ended because he had a lot of family problems such as (mom in rehab, brother arrested for drug bust etc.) (and no, he doesn't do drugs or anything like that) so after we ended we had no contact for almost six months.

 

I went on a few casual dates, nothing serious or that led anywhere. On none of those dates, did I feel anything like I did when I was with my ex. He just gives me a un -describable feeling. There is just something about him.

 

He texted me, on day and we have been in contact ever since. This has been about two years. (I know it's such a long time) he's been dealing with all his family problems over the last two years, and he seems happier and in a much better than where he was.

 

He has always been on my mind, and I truly believe he is who I want to be with. I do love him, I will admit to that. I do not want to be with anyone else but him, and I can not imagine my life without him.

 

This last Friday a band that we both loved was in town. I was actually supposed to attend this concert with another guy, but he turned out to be a *******. But, I already had my ticket so I figured what the hell why not go. My ex texted me, and says ''hey, I'm at (this concert), you aren't here are you? I thought I saw you''.

 

So, we ended up finding each other and spending the whole night together. Because I had planned on drinking, and apparently so did he. We ended up taking a uber back to my house. (I'm a college student, and I still live at home) We get to my house, and he ended up staying the night with me (my idea not his). We talked about everything, his plans, his family situation, the breakup etc.

 

He confessed to me, that he had not been with anyone else and didn't want to be because of me. That he thought of me everyday and does love me. It was a fantastic evening, and I would not have changed anything. Yes, we did make out a little bit but nothing more. (He respected me 100%)

I did not realize how much responsibility he has on his shoulders. He lives with his Aunt, Grandma, and little sister and nobody but him works. I see the difference in his maturity level. He is more focused on what he wants. So maybe, the time apart was what we needed.

 

He called me today, and I asked if we were going to date again or to wait.

He said that he was working on getting his own place, and also was going to get his mom into a better rehab place and that it wouldn't take long, and then we could date. He says wants to be with me, and still wants to talk meanwhile. He just is scared that he won't have time for me, while all this is going on.

 

So, I feel stuck. Do I want to give him a second chance? Yes. Do I see a future with him? Yes. Do I love him? Yes. I feel happy that he has told me everything that has happened and has told me his feelings for me. I miss him when he is not with me, and when we are not talking.

 

I just don't want to wait if it's not going to end with us in a relationship. I haven't told any of my friends except one that I am close with, and my mom about the situation because I am afraid they will immediately start to judge me and wonder what the heck is wrong with me.

 

I think my mom gave me a solid piece of advice, that loving him is not wrong and neither is wanting to be with him. That if I feel like this is what I want then I should per-sue it. My close friend basically told me to do what I think is right, and not worry about what others think especially since they aren't in the ones in the relationship and as long as I was happy that is what matters.

 

 

I am thinking about doing a NC once again, just to test things once and for all and see how we both feel at the end of it. Since I'm in school, and the semester ends in May I was thinking we could resume contact then and just see how it goes? Is that a dumb idea?

 

Anyone have any thoughts?

Thanks.

[Young mind]

I don't understand the rush to be labeled, you both expressed your feelings to each other, why not take everything slow, he has a lot on his plate and has been honest to you about it, if you love him, Then support him and be there for him, regardless of who gets second chances, sometimes the way we show love makes us unforgettable

[chicagogem]

I understand why you're feeling stuck! He really sounds like a good guy, and one who's trying to look out for you by not getting you involved in all the family matters. It can be so hard to wait when our feelings are so strong. I don't have any advice, but I hope that you both can continue to communicate and talk through the different ways you could make it work if that's what you both want. Wishing you all the best~