His Ex Girlfriend...

[Mj22]

So I need some advice. I have been with my guy for a year now, he is the most amazing boyfriend. Respectful, kind, caring. He is always there for me and accepts me as I am.

 

My last relationship was a very emotionally abusive one, sometimes physical. He done a lot of damage to me but I have been trying my best to work on myself and get better. I suffer from quite bad anxiety because of how the relationship went and have some trust issues as he cheated on me a lot (more fool me for staying!)

 

Anyway, my new partner has a huge group of friends. He was with someone for 6 years and she broke his heart, he started sleeping with one of his girl mates as a rebound for about 3 months after but then stopped it as he knew it was wrong and he was using her.

 

They are no longer good friends and never speak. But she is still friends with his other friends and comes to certain events that we are all in. And I feel so uncomfortable with her being there. Because she is old friends with them all obviously she is going to come, I would never stop him from going to an event because she is there either. But it makes me feel so uncomfortable when she is there and I don't know how to shake this feeling. I know he would be the same if it was the other way around. He has to go to an event in a few weeks and I can't go as its my friend birthday and I know that he will be alone there with her as well. It makes me feel sick with anxiety. I trust him so much and I know he loves me and would never so anything but I don't know how to just accept this and get over it.

 

I don't want this to ruin our relationship, I have spoken to him and he knows how I feel about it and has said he won't speak to her. I have said he can talk to her but just want him to know that it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I hate being this insecure but I can't ignore my feelings about this and just suppress it. If I had it my way she would go away and stop hovering around the group so much but thats just petty and silly.

 

I hate being this way but I do get very jealous and can't stand the fact that she is always around. I'm still trying to build good relationships with his best friends and I feel like I can't do that because she is always there instead.

 

Any advise I would appreciate, thanks.

[somanymistakes]

It's hard, but he can't really force all his friends to stop talking to their friend just because he made a stupid mistake with her briefly. That wouldn't be right.

 

Can you analyse exactly what makes you so afraid and upset?

 

You know he doesn't want to get back with her (after all, he left her). Do you think she wants to get back with him? Do you think it hurts her feelings, seeing you with him, and that makes you feel guilty and uncomfortable when you see her?