Female friend starts emotional affair with guy. What now?

[irresolute]

I have a friend who lives abroad. She’s married with a child.

Last October she started an emotional (I think, she never emitted to me it was physical) affair with a guy that has clearly some mental issues. He’s manipulative.

I’ve chatted with her about this guy and how she should block him so he won’t contact her anymore, she says yes, you’re right, but then a month passes by and she tells me she’s talking to him again. Then, again, I tell her how unhealthy all this is, again she blocks him, but again she talks to him in a matter of weeks.

Now the guy is telling her he’s going to commit suicide because of her.

 

I’m tired of this situation and tired of not being listened.

 

She initiated all conversations with me but I’m honestly getting more angry at her because she cannot cut all this madness and because she seems to not realize this guy is sick.

 

I have to add she sees this guy everyday because both kids (hers and his) go to the same school.

 

How can I stop being angry at her?? I already told er to seek help, a therapist or go to the police, but she’s just not realizing how serious this is

[ItsJustMyOpinion]

Tell her you'll commit suicide unless she stops talking to him because it's obviously very unhealthy for her.

 

That seems to work for the other guy anyway.

 

Maybe she might even see how ridiculous that really is and stop talking to him all on her own.

 

In all seriousness, I think all you can do is stand firm in any and all communication to her about him in regards to how it's really unhealthy that she continues to keep talking to him.

[irresolute]

Tell her you'll commit suicide unless she stops talking to him because it's obviously very unhealthy for her.

 

That seems to work for the other guy anyway.

 

Maybe she might even see how ridiculous that really is and stop talking to him all on her own.

 

In all seriousness, I think all you can do is stand firm in any and all communication to her about him in regards to how it's really unhealthy that she continues to keep talking to him.

 

I’ve told her im frustrated with all this situation. But m stay angry because of all the hours I wasted trying to help her.

 

Now she says this time is different, that she understood. I don’t believe her anymore

[mikeylo]

Let it rest now. You’ve done your part. Start ignoring her.

[somanymistakes]

You're not her husband. Her husband has far more right and reason to ask her to knock it off with the other guy, and she's not doing it for him, so why would she do it for you?

 

You've told her your position but you can't MAKE a friend do what you want them to do.

 

You could, if you wanted to, tell her husband. This would probably turn into a pile of drama and she might never speak to you again.

 

If you visit the OW/OM forum you'll see how addictive these relationships can be. It's not surprising that she's still deeply sucked into it... plenty of people who 100% know that the relationship is bad for them and say they want to get out find themselves unwilling to actually stay in NC forever.

[irresolute]

Yes...I agree with you all.

It's the anger and the frustration right now... I don't want to initiate any communication with her, and I wouldn't want to feel like this. I'm supposed to be her friend, and I should show her my empathy and unconditional support for what she's going through. Thing is she doesn't realize of anything, she's inside the fog. and I cannot talk with a person who doesn't acknowledges or takes responsibility for her acts.

Is this a normal feeling?