Lorenza Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 What did I get myself into... My new housemate just moved in on Sunday. I was primarily looking for a female, but couldn't afford being too picky. Actually this guy was my only choice after a few weeks of intensive search. I didn't even "notice" him when he came over to check my place out. Was honestly too stressed about the whole situation so we made an agreement the very same evening (and, well, it doesn't make sense to discriminate someone because of their looks anyway, so there was no choice there). It suited him as well since his work is only 15 min away. He moved in on Sunday evening and we had some tea after he was done unpacking. My God this guy is attractive. And flirty. Or at least that's how I perceived it (might be it's his way of being friendly). The house isn't very spacious so we pass each other by quite a lot. He just came back home from work and brought me sushi (??) although we didn't eat it together. We didn't talk too much either, mostly on Sunday and a little bit yesterday. Otherwise just smiling and having small talk. But I feel shook (at least now I know I'm not asexual). Oh, and we added each other on Fb, there's no signs of a girlfriend, though there are a couple of old pictures with a girl. But anyway, what do you guys think? It this a dangerous situation? Will it pass? Should I keep distance? Have you ever had a fling with a housemate? I'm not looking for anything relationshipwise, but getting involved with a housemate seems like a bad idea in general right? Ugh, I can't calm down ever since he moved in, I'm so attracted to him.
Gaeta Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 Put a young attractive single male with a young attractive single female and ...........what will you get at 99% ? :-) It's not the very best situation BUT couples have all sorts of funny stories on how they met. Get to know the guy, you'll end up liking him more....or less. If things go sour he moves out. I don't see anyone being in danger here. 3
Zahara Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 There was a recent thread -- she moved in and got involved with her housemate (owns the home). He then got distant and told her her couldn't move forward with her and started getting flirty with another woman that moved in. She's now in a horrible situation of having to find a new place and facing the awkwardness and hurt of seeing him move on. Had a friend who was in the same situation -- it was a dreadful experience. Just as bad as getting involved with someone you work with - when it goes to hell, it goes to hell. Or you may just both hit it off! 1
Author Lorenza Posted February 27, 2018 Author Posted February 27, 2018 Put a young attractive single male with a young attractive single female and ...........what will you get at 99% ? :-) It's not the very best situation BUT couples have all sorts of funny stories on how they met. Get to know the guy, you'll end up liking him more....or less. If things go sour he moves out. I don't see anyone being in danger here. I don't know, I guess I'm paranoid - it's not my house, though I'm allowed to let someone in to live with me. Maybe it's better nothing would escalate. Was just hoping to find someone calm and problem free, and now I'm walking around with my hair fixed and wearing makeup -_-
Author Lorenza Posted February 27, 2018 Author Posted February 27, 2018 There was a recent thread -- she moved in and got involved with her housemate (owns the home). He then got distant and told her her couldn't move forward with her and started getting flirty with another woman that moved in. She's now in a horrible situation of having to find a new place and facing the awkwardness and hurt of seeing him move on. Had a friend who was in the same situation -- it was a dreadful experience. Just as bad as getting involved with someone you work with - when it goes to hell, it goes to hell. Or you may just both hit it off! I'm just thinking there's still a chance that he has a girlfriend and will bring her over haha. But that would at least cool me off
alphamale Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 don't have sex until you've lived together for atleast 3 or 4 months 1
Interstellar Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 If he’s straight then he’s being flirty and finds you attractive, because you are. Have fun! Life’s too short!
Author Lorenza Posted February 27, 2018 Author Posted February 27, 2018 If he’s straight then he’s being flirty and finds you attractive, because you are. Have fun! Life’s too short! It's so funny, because I was almost giving up on finding these things fun ever again and then this comes along 1
Author Lorenza Posted February 27, 2018 Author Posted February 27, 2018 We just sat and had a conversation for an hour, mostly about my cat lol. I also complained how my eating habits have gone worse lately and he suggested we join forces during the weekend and cook something healthy to make lunch boxes for the following week. The kitchen is narrow let me tell you that 1
Gaeta Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 We just sat and had a conversation for an hour, mostly about my cat lol. I also complained how my eating habits have gone worse lately and he suggested we join forces during the weekend and cook something healthy to make lunch boxes for the following week. The kitchen is narrow let me tell you that hahaha!!...lovely! Enjoy the flirting as long as possible!
alphamale Posted February 27, 2018 Posted February 27, 2018 We just sat and had a conversation for an hour, mostly about my cat lol. I also complained how my eating habits have gone worse lately and he suggested we join forces during the weekend and cook something healthy to make lunch boxes for the following week. The kitchen is narrow let me tell you that cooking together in the kitchen leads to "cooking" elsewhere in other rooms, if you know what I mean *nudge nudge* *wink*
Author Lorenza Posted February 28, 2018 Author Posted February 28, 2018 Crap, I think he has a girlfriend after all. I was awake and heard his talking on phone early in the morning and it sounded like a conversation with a girlfriend
FilterCoffee Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Was just hoping to find someone calm and problem free, and now I'm walking around with my hair fixed and wearing makeup -_- Hahaha. Before doing anything, figure out his relationship status. The last thing you need is a vindictive girlfriend tearing down your room! I would’ve told you to not cook with him but we all know you’re not going to listen 1
Gaeta Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Crap, I think he has a girlfriend after all. I was awake and heard his talking on phone early in the morning and it sounded like a conversation with a girlfriend Must be really new if they are not public. He would not be the first guy to drop a new girlfriend cause he found a better one ;-)
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 I had heaps of fun when I was hooking up with mine for about 6 months. He was 10 years younger than me and had a long distance girlfriend. He told me it was basically over he just needed to formally end it. I never bought that story but was soooo attracted to him that things happened after about 8 days of me moving in. He was honestly very hot and we also got along well. I decided right from the start that because he is a cheater and so much younger, I would never consider him seriously. It was just a fling. He also hooked up with other girls while I lived there and it didn't bother me. He was OCD about using protection so there was not much worry. Towards the end of my lease, he kind of got serious with some girl and decided to end it with his gf. I started dating someone else too but I admit I was a little jelaous. He wanted me to stay but I kind of thought that at that point the situation was too much drama and not emotionally healthy for me so I left. We went NC for a few months but he suddenly started contacting me and wanted to hang out. I wasn't interested anymore so I ended up blocking him. It may sounds like drama but I have no regrets. There was real, both sided chemistry and I enjoyed it more than any of the men I met through OLD. I would say go for it. The only negative thing for me was that I was trying to look my best all the time. Like I would put on make up every time I left my bedroom and wore sexy clothes. I never felt really comfortable, the way I am when I lived by myself. It was stressful from that prospective. 1
Exformer Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Am I the only one who read this situation and thought it would be a terrible idea to pursue it? I mean, do whatever you want; you certainly aren't hurting anybody, but... You were stressed out for weeks, trying to find a roommate. You sound like you were really desperate to find someone to the point you didn't notice the attractiveness of this guy, who, once the stress subsided, you now find very attractive. You also settled for a guy as a roommate when you were wanting a girl roommate, because you say you didn't have options. You said you didn't want a relationship, so that's off the table, but either way... Say you start hooking up and it goes the way these things go most of the time; someone catches feelings and things end. Either you start wanting a relationship with him, he wants one with you, or one of you want one with someone else. Things get weird at best, and hateful at worse. You have a short or long period where you both live together while he has to find a place to live...or worse, he doesn't want to leave, and things go way dark (remember you don't really know this guy). And then you're right back to stressing out about finding a roommate again once the dust settles... I think I'm getting too old...when I was younger, I might have been willing to jump into something like that and let the almost certain drama unfold for the slim chance that things worked out. Actually, I take that back, I don't think I ever would have made a fwb out of someone I lived with; there are plenty other people I could do that with, people I would never have to see again when things went south. Minimize the drama...or don't. You do you. 2
FilterCoffee Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 I also complained how my eating habits have gone worse lately and he suggested we join forces during the weekend and cook something healthy to make lunch boxes for the following week. The kitchen is narrow let me tell you that He's vegan too? Good for you
Gaeta Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Am I the only one who read this situation and thought it would be a terrible idea to pursue it? I mean, do whatever you want; you certainly aren't hurting anybody, but... You were stressed out for weeks, trying to find a roommate. You sound like you were really desperate to find someone to the point you didn't notice the attractiveness of this guy, who, once the stress subsided, you now find very attractive. You also settled for a guy as a roommate when you were wanting a girl roommate, because you say you didn't have options. You said you didn't want a relationship, so that's off the table, but either way... Say you start hooking up and it goes the way these things go most of the time; someone catches feelings and things end. Either you start wanting a relationship with him, he wants one with you, or one of you want one with someone else. Things get weird at best, and hateful at worse. You have a short or long period where you both live together while he has to find a place to live...or worse, he doesn't want to leave, and things go way dark (remember you don't really know this guy). And then you're right back to stressing out about finding a roommate again once the dust settles... I think I'm getting too old...when I was younger, I might have been willing to jump into something like that and let the almost certain drama unfold for the slim chance that things worked out. Actually, I take that back, I don't think I ever would have made a fwb out of someone I lived with; there are plenty other people I could do that with, people I would never have to see again when things went south. Minimize the drama...or don't. You do you. You are the voice of reason for sure. Lorenza: What are the rights of tenants in your country? Do you need to give this guy 30 days notice? Does he pay rent to you or to the house owner? If it's to you then you're in charge but if he pays his rent to the owner then you're in a delicate situation. 2
Highndry Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Have fun. Geez, it's not like this is a guy at your place of work and it's going to threaten your career. Some people need to lighten up. If it doesn't work out, he moves out. Big deal.
smackie9 Posted February 28, 2018 Posted February 28, 2018 Hot charming guy, very few picks of girls on his social media....he's probably slammin where he can get'em. An opportunist possibly. Hey if you are down for some scoobyin go for it as long as you don't get possessive.
Author Lorenza Posted February 28, 2018 Author Posted February 28, 2018 He's vegan too? Good for you He's not, but he has vegan weeks every now and then, so that's good but a lot of people are either vegans or vegetarians or reduced meat here where I live
Author Lorenza Posted February 28, 2018 Author Posted February 28, 2018 You are the voice of reason for sure. Lorenza: What are the rights of tenants in your country? Do you need to give this guy 30 days notice? Does he pay rent to you or to the house owner? If it's to you then you're in charge but if he pays his rent to the owner then you're in a delicate situation. Yes exactly, 30 days notice and he's paying to me, since my landlord didn't want anything to do with it and said I can manage the way I like. So, the situation isn't too delicate, I guess. But anyway, I'm almost certain he has a girlfriend, heard him saying "my love" to someone on the phone behind the closed doors, haha. Well if it isn't serious, then I don't care and can still have a little romance, but wouldn't want to ruin it for someone if it's serious. I think I'll ask him on occasion
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