tart6245 Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Hi all, My story is documented elsewhere and what led to the breakup, but I think I was in an emotionally abusing relationship and it's time I admit it to myself in order to tailor the help I am getting towards moving on from it. Some of the things that went on include: - constant accusations that I was cheating when I was not. I found out post-break up that she had actually made out with a guy at a bar one night when she was out with my female friend and never told me. - picking fights all the time, especially when I was at work. She would panic and force me to discuss issues while I was busy, and there would be days where I would spend on the phone talking to her instead of working. This gave me incredible anxiety. - she picked fights with my friends and then forced me to chose between them and her, and said if I did not stop seeing them, she would leave me. Even when I knew she was wrong, I ended up picking her side then secretly saw my friends. - She once tried to dump me when I didn't talk to her enough during a close family member's death. - She threatened to kill herself multiple times, sometimes she would send me pictures of cuts she had made on herself. The second time she actually went to the hospital and began to blame me for not doing enough to stop her from OD'ing on pills and posted online that I left her to die and had no concern of her impending suicide. I did not call in the second one because she had bluffed so often. - after the initial break in November, she agreed to get help, then told me her therapist said I was a sociopath who just enjoyed hurting her, and if I wanted to be with her, I'd be with her then and not take time apart. - she harassed me November/December with threats to ruin my life (and did attempt) by contacting my employer and family with false accusations. She then allegedly contacted all my ex-girlfriends with the same allegations and likened herself to someone in the Me Too movement. - This month, she asked me to sit down and talk, and that she was dating someone else. I stupidly responded and said I would in a month or so, to which she started telling me she wanted to be with me and that she'd never get over me, and she wanted to work things out. When I finally told her I could not, she said I'd die alone, never find happiness with anyone else, that I was letting someone go who was good, that I was evil, and she did me a favor by dating me when she could do so much better. I think it's time I just admit I was emotionally abused for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Abuse is such a strong word. I don't really want to quibble with you about vocabulary. I'd classify your relationship as dysfunctional & unhealthy. Your EX was certainly manipulative. It's good that things ended & I definitely think you need to stay away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tart6245 Posted February 28, 2018 Author Share Posted February 28, 2018 Abuse is such a strong word. I don't really want to quibble with you about vocabulary. I'd classify your relationship as dysfunctional & unhealthy. Your EX was certainly manipulative. It's good that things ended & I definitely think you need to stay away from her. Perhaps you're right. But yes, despite how I'm hurting emotionally, my brain says I need to stay away from her, as easy as it would be to contact her and tell her I miss her and want to be together regardless of how my friends and family feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 getting what they want, is being abusive. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2018 Share Posted February 28, 2018 Perhaps you're right. But yes, despite how I'm hurting emotionally, my brain says I need to stay away from her, as easy as it would be to contact her and tell her I miss her and want to be together regardless of how my friends and family feel. Listen to your brain, your friends & your family. Being in a relationship with her is not good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Umm, why do you even consider speaking to this person? She sounds like an embarrassment, not to mention a possible mental health issue. There's millions of nice girls out there, why settle for a stupid one? Link to post Share on other sites
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