Did I overreact or was breaking up over flirting the right decision?

[TheBathWater]

I started dating someone from my dancing team several weeks ago. We get along really, really well, for the most part. However, she has a very outgoing and flirtatious personality, and she appears receptive to other men on our dancing team who flirt with her. There is one guy in particular I am concerned about. We talked about it not long ago, and she admitted that although she has no intentions, she could see how her behavior might encourage other guys to pursue her and that it's something she needs to be mindful of. This made me feel better, because it seemed like she was self-aware and willing to consider how it affects the health of our relationship.

 

Tonight, the particular guy who I am concerned about was again flirting with her during dance class - touching her, joking, smiling, looking into her eyes charmingly and hugging her, and then putting his arm around her after class finished. He is known to pick up girls in our class, and I am not cool with him flirting with her and her smiling back at him, touching him, laughing, hugging, etc... I confronted her later and told her I was not comfortable with this. She believes that since she has no interest in this guy that there is no problem. She thinks I should not feel jealous or upset at all since she is not interested in him.

 

I trusted that she was sincere when she said this to me, but I told her I was concerned that since she admitted in the recent past that she understood this was a problem, and now that I was upset about it and she was basically ignoring the problem and suggesting to me that I just deal with it, that it was not okay! We fought a lot, and she didn't seem to be adopting the position she had a couple of weeks ago about being mindful of the way she encourages other guys to chase her. I told her that I expect her to take my feelings seriously, and that while I understand she cannot control what other men do, and that maybe she is in fact not interested in this guy, she should still be concerned if I am uncomfortable.

 

I also told her I do not want to monitor who she talks to and how she talks to them. That is not something I am interested in doing with her (e.g. checking her phone, being suspicious, etc...). I'd prefer she show me that she can deal with these situations herself when they arise so I don't have to worry as much. I would like to trust that she will handle situations appropriately as they arise, but if she is going to allow (and encourage) this behavior from other men and not take my feelings seriously, then I feel hurt because I feel she is not considering my feelings or how this affects our relationship. She told me this is just the way she is and she will never change. Her unwillingness to see her role in this, as well as not take my feelings seriously and tell me that she's just never going to change, is a major red flag in my eyes.

 

She then suggested we take a break, which I know is a soft way of transitioning through a breakup, so I told her I was done - that it seemed like she wanted to do as she pleases and ignore an obvious problem; that just because she doesn't have intentions with another guy doesn't mean it's okay, and that if she can't take my feelings seriously and is not willing to work with me on the issue, to leave my house and never talk to me again.

 

I admit that I have trust and jealousy issues. I am aware of this. I am also willing to work on myself (I already have in my life, and continue to do so). I am willing to allow her the freedom to interact with other guys, and I know they will hit on her, but I expect her to recognize when it is occurring in such a way that is questionable and to consider my feelings and what it is doing to our connection. A relationship is two people, and if she can't work with me on the issue, then I do not feel hopeful. At that point, I feel that ending things is the right thing to do.

 

Did I overreact and make a mistake? Or was this the right decision? Like I said, I believe her that she doesn't have intentions with this guy (or other guys), but I am not okay with the thought of her encouraging other men to pursue her and not being willing to consider how it affects our relationship. We had a great connection otherwise, but I am genuinely concerned that she was not willing to work collaboratively with me on the situation.

Edited March 1, 2018 by TunaInTheBrine

[basil67]

Yes you did the right thing. Your personality is not a match for a touchy, feely, bubbly woman.

 

Find someone who's more reserved.

[sandylee1]

You did the right thing in breaking up and explained your position very clearly to her, but telling her never to speak to you again was a bit OTT.

 

I would have thought that will make it kind of awkward at your dance class.

[ExpatInItaly]

You did the right thing, in the sense that you realized you two are not compatible.

 

Neither of you is necessarily wrong, but you have very different boundaries and expectations. This wouldn't have worked out well in the long run.

[road]

You did the right thing, in the sense that you realized you two are not compatible.

 

Neither of you is necessarily wrong, but you have very different boundaries and expectations. This wouldn't have worked out well in the long run.

 

He was not even close to being anything less than being a dead

aim on the money all the way right. He took the time to explain.

He waited to see how she would react again in the future.

 

She proved that she just was a manipulator that would say anything

to her man just to shut him up. She was never about making the

changes. The I am god's gift to men, I look and dance so hot all men

will put up with me.

 

When a woman shows that she has poor boundaries she shows that

she is not good wife material.

 

Her, continued lack of boundaries around men, when in a relationship

puts her clearly in the wrong.

[d0nnivain]

I think that you two were not compatible & that breaking up was the right thing to do.

 

However, I agree that telling her to never speak to you again was a little harsh. You claim you said that because she failed to take your concerns seriously & dial things back at your request. However, your insistence that she change her personality was you failing to accept her for who she is.

 

I'm a flirty girl but I always know where the boundaries are. I can't date men who don't trust me. I tried once & it was awful. IMO he was too suspicious & controlling. There was one guy in particular that my then BF was always worried about. When the BF & I broke up my BF/EX was astounded that I didn't immediately start dating the other guy. I explained again that I was never interested in the other guy beyond the public banter we had going on which drove my BF/EX up a wall. I didn't flirt to bug my BF. I didn't even think my behavior or the behavior of the other guy was all that flirty; it was just banter.

 

In the end it was simply that me & my then BF were not compatible, like you & this woman wouldn't work long term. Especially since you are still on the same dance team your directive to never speak to you again seems like it will be disruptive to the team. Since you recognize that she is fundamentally a good person, find a way to be polite, professional & even gracious when doing team activities.

[TheBathWater]

There were other things that concerned me about her too. She was consistently late when making plans - typically by an hour, she would "go to the bathroom" when we were at restaurants having dinner but was using her phone in the restroom the whole time, and she would give out her number at job fairs to other guys because "they seemed nice and like they wanted to help her," but then they would be texting her trying to go out with her.

 

I get it. The woman is not a demon, but she lacks self-awareness, is naïve, and doesn't take the feelings of others into serious consideration. I imagine her being with a guy who doesn't have enough self-respect and allows her to have her way because he doesn't feel that he can do better. I am not that way. Did I mention she has a history of infidelity as well?

 

I gave this woman the benefit of doubt, and I was willing to work together on the flirting issue, but I have to draw the line somewhere. If she cannot be mindful or conscious about how her behavior affects the relationship and prefers to flirt with other men, be late regularly, play with her phone constantly, etc... then you are all right, she is not compatible with me. I attempted to talk with her about it and was level-headed about it at first, but when she continued to flirt after saying herself she should be more careful and then tell me that she is not going to change and to deal with it, well then I will deal with it by ending the relationship.

Edited March 1, 2018 by TunaInTheBrine

[d0nnivain]

It's fine. Clearly she's not the one for you. I just don't want to see you disrupt the whole dance team over this so I suggested you find a way to co-exist.

[sandylee1]

I don't think she's naive at all. She knew exactly what she was doing and she knows how others guys will perceive it.

 

She just likes being the centre of attention and treated you as though you should be privileged to be with her.

 

The best thing was showing her you wouldn't put up with that nonsense. She's not interested in self awareness...with her infidelity history you've dodged a bullet.

 

This is more than having a flirty personality...it's basic disrespect and you don't do that when your BF has made his feelings clear ...at least not right in front of him.

 

I have a bit of a flirty/friendly personality too...but I would never flirt right under my husband's nose as if though he means nothing.

 

...and I have no issue if he flirts when I'm not there....but I'd be pi$$ed off if he did it in front of me. He's not a flirt though and I trust him.

[TheBathWater]

I don't think she's naive at all. She knew exactly what she was doing and she knows how others guys will perceive it.

 

She just likes being the centre of attention and treated you as though you should be privileged to be with her.

 

The best thing was showing her you wouldn't put up with that nonsense. She's not interested in self awareness...with her infidelity history you've dodged a bullet.

 

This is more than having a flirty personality...it's basic disrespect and you don't do that when your BF has made his feelings clear ...at least not right in front of him.

 

I have a bit of a flirty/friendly personality too...but I would never flirt right under my husband's nose as if though he means nothing.

 

...and I have no issue if he flirts when I'm not there....but I'd be pi$$ed off if he did it in front of me. He's not a flirt though and I trust him.

 

Thanks for this. It is reassuring.

 

You know, one thing I remember saying to her last night was that I understand (and fully expect) us to meet other people while we're together and to even find other people attractive. That's normal and healthy. But what I care about is how it's ultimately handled.

 

The particular guy I am concerned about, she was well-aware of it and we talked about his behavior with her in the past. She initiated the idea that she needed to be more careful with him (and guys in general). I have not seen action on that front so far. In fact, I see her allowing things to escalate.

 

I gave her the benefit of doubt that she is not intentionally doing anything and does not have romantic interest in this guy, but I do believe this particular guy is definitely coming on to her. I feel uncomfortable about it, and she did not seem willing to work with me on the matter anymore. Intentional or not on her part, if she cannot take my feelings seriously that it is a concern, and instead continue to behave with this guy the way she is and then say it's my problem, then I know it cannot be resolved. At that point it's up to me to either learn to accept her behavior toward me and other men, or leave the relationship because I cannot handle it emotionally and because it will damage us. I chose to end it because of the latter. I take full responsibility for my feelings and know I cannot feel safe with a woman who behaves that way (on top of the other issues I mentioned that were red flags).

Edited March 1, 2018 by TunaInTheBrine

[smackie9]

We are not there to see what happened, and what you describe is through jealous/insecure eyes. I'm not saying your feelings are not valid, I'm saying your perception might be different than an outsiders opinion.

You make her out to be this horrible person when she was simply being friendly flirty comfortable around her acquaintances. It made you feel uncomfortable, and she didn't see it an issue...She's either a jerk, stupid, or fiercely independent. None that is suitable for you. You made the right choice to end it, but don't be a jerk because it didn't work out for you two. Makes you look like a sour puss. We win some we lose some. I'm sure you will find yourself someone more suitable soon enough and you will forget about all this.

[TheBathWater]

One thing I did not say in my initial post because I feel ashamed to say it, but I feel like I need to say it now, is that this relationship is/was an affair. She is married, but she has not felt her marriage has been working for a long time and we fell in love through the dance scene. I was 'the other man' in a separate affair about a year ago, and I can't believe I have wound up in this situation again. But she said she has not had an affair before and that she would consider having children with and marrying me. She has been trying to get pregnant with me during sex and said if she got pregnant she would keep it. It has been a very intense relationship, and I have no doubt the nature of the affair contributed to my feelings of jealousy with seeing other guys hitting on her and her giggling and enjoying it. I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I feel really confused right now and really hurt. I do love her, but I do not feel comfortable with the way she acts with certain guys who are obviously flirting with her. But strangely, I don't feel jealous of her husband because I know their marriage isn't healthy. She has cheated on him twice in the last ten years, but they were both one-time encounters. This was a full-blown affair and she lives with me while he is traveling on business. Please don't judge me. I just want to be loved, get married and have children, and she matched really well with me.

Edited March 2, 2018 by TunaInTheBrine

[ExpatInItaly]

One thing I did not say in my initial post because I feel ashamed to say it, but I feel like I need to say it now, is that this relationship is/was an affair. She is married, but she has not felt her marriage has been working for a long time and we fell in love through the dance scene. I was 'the other man' in a separate affair about a year ago, and I can't believe I have wound up in this situation again. But she said she has not had an affair before and that she would consider having children with and marrying me. She has been trying to get pregnant with me during sex and said if she got pregnant she would keep it. It has been a very intense relationship, and I have no doubt the nature of the affair contributed to my feelings of jealousy with seeing other guys hitting on her and her giggling and enjoying it. I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I feel really confused right now and really hurt. I do love her, but I do not feel comfortable with the way she acts with certain guys who are obviously flirting with her. But strangely, I don't feel jealous of her husband because I know their marriage isn't healthy. She has cheated on him twice in the last ten years, but they were both one-time encounters. This was a full-blown affair and she lives with me while he is traveling on business. Please don't judge me. I just want to be loved, get married and have children, and she matched really well with me.

 

Yes, you should have included that. It's important information.

 

You keep winding up in these situations because you don't have appropriate boundaries either. Where is your sense of respect, both for yourself and for the marriages you're meddling in?

 

Pot, meet kettle.

[sandylee1]

Tuna,

 

You really should have mentioned you're the OM.

I remember the last time thud happened to you...She left her fiance and still didn't choose to be with you.

 

How did you end up going from an engaged woman to a married woman?

 

...and you're suprised that she flirts when she's cheating on her husband.

 

She spins you a story about not being happy with her husband...and you believe the word of a cheater.

 

You won't get commitment from a cheater. Start dating single available women or you'll wind up in this situation time and time again.

[FilterCoffee]

Although you didn’t leave her for the reason you should’ve, I’m glad you left her nonetheless. We all want to be loved Tuna but you gotta be patient and more selective. You wouldn’t want a relationship like the last one which took you months to recover from. Take care.

[TheBathWater]

It's just so hard. I get so tired of dating, especially the online dating scene, and I'm tired of being lonely all the time. I'm in my mid-thirties, and I just want someone regular in my life who I feel special with.

 

I agree though that the idea of going through the pain again that I went through last time in a similar situation would be awful, potentially much worse this time if the woman became pregnant.

 

One thing I do feel good about, however, is that I am more confident in asserting boundaries with this woman than I was with the previous engaged woman, and I don't have much hope that this woman will leave her husband and be with me, whereas in my previous relationship with the engaged woman I truly believed she would (she did, but she left me at the same time - so I was an exit strategy).

 

I am so ashamed. I have failed myself. I am short-cutting the dating system because I can't tolerate the long-term loneliness that will inevitably be part of the process of finding true love. I am putting bad energy into the world by doing this, and I am going against my own values of honoring the sacredness of commitment (i.e. the commitment of their marriage). I am so sorry.

[road]

I am glad that you ended the trickle truthing.

[ItsJustMyOpinion]

Dude, you did yourself a favor. Why are you even questioning your reasoning?

 

Flirty contact is noticeable. It causes physical stimulation in those involved and the pretense of that communication can be boiled down to one simple declaration: I AM ATTRACTED TOWARD YOU.

 

Being attracted to multiple people is nothing new. However, if you are in a relationship, you've made a commitment both to your partner and yourself that should that attraction arise, it would not deter or falter the relationship as the reciprocation of attraction shouldn't be acted upon.

 

What I'm trying to say is that this broad is no dummy. She knew exactly what kind of messages she was sending to him by allowing him into her personal space (touching, feeling, grabbing) while simultaneously completely disrespecting you and her relationship with you. "Oh let me play the naïve card and act like I don't know what the reciprocation of flirty behavior toward men will get me".

 

BULL****!

 

Some women are naturally flirty and can give the wrong signals when simply being nice. Responding to holding, grabbing, touching, etc. in a flirtatious manner (laughing, reciprocation of touch, seemingly inviting more of it) however is not how a woman would respond to unwanted advances. A woman who is with a man and respects him would be able to very easily act defensively in the same manner. An example would be "oh hey, you're really cool but my boyfriend wouldn't appreciate having your hands on my hips and neither do I." Or moving away from the guy who can't seem to keep his hands off her. Not laughing at his stupid jokes. Etc.

 

She knew exactly what she was doing, and the fact that she did it right in front of you should have had you leaving this relationship faster than she could finish laughing.

 

You are the prize here. You are the man. You are genetically wired to attract multiple mates and to be the object of desire for the women of our world.

 

I suggest you realize how ****ing awesome you really are and act as such because the sooner you do, the sooner women will respond to it, and the sooner you can leave behind a woman who did nothing but disrespect you.

[smackie9]

lesson learned, move on.

[CatMinx]

It's just so hard. I get so tired of dating, especially the online dating scene, and I'm tired of being lonely all the time. I'm in my mid-thirties, and I just want someone regular in my life who I feel special with.

 

I agree though that the idea of going through the pain again that I went through last time in a similar situation would be awful, potentially much worse this time if the woman became pregnant.

 

One thing I do feel good about, however, is that I am more confident in asserting boundaries with this woman than I was with the previous engaged woman, and I don't have much hope that this woman will leave her husband and be with me, whereas in my previous relationship with the engaged woman I truly believed she would (she did, but she left me at the same time - so I was an exit strategy).

 

I am so ashamed. I have failed myself. I am short-cutting the dating system because I can't tolerate the long-term loneliness that will inevitably be part of the process of finding true love. I am putting bad energy into the world by doing this, and I am going against my own values of honoring the sacredness of commitment (i.e. the commitment of their marriage). I am so sorry.

 

An affair is not dating..dating is when a relationship has the potential to move forward. What is your end goal as far as relationships go?

[TheBathWater]

An affair is not dating..dating is when a relationship has the potential to move forward. What is your end goal as far as relationships go?

 

Marriage and 1-2 kids is my end goal. And I want my relationship to be an evolving one that is based on mutual self-improvement.

[TheBathWater]

We wound up texting for a couple of hours last night to figure things out.

 

She was firm that we were done romantically, but that she is open to staying friends, hanging out in public (not alone at my place), and remaining dancing partners.

 

She was unwavering on her take on the situation that led to the breakup - she really believes she did not do anything wrong and the problem is 100% my insecurity. I let her vent, agreed with her that I have issues, apologized, and told her I understood the rationale for not being together anymore.

 

Silently, not telling her this, but I still believe that even if she didn't "do" anything wrong, I wish she would have responded more sensitively to my feeling concerned that some guy was coming on to her and she did nothing about it. I don't disagree with anything she said about my insecurity, but I do believe most guys in my situation would have felt some degree of jealousy if they saw what I saw that night. What ultimately pushed me over the edge with her was not the event itself, because I know she is not going to do anything with that guy, but it was the way she ultimately put 100% of the issue onto me when I brought it up with her in a very rational and non-accusatory way. I felt like I did the responsible thing by naming my jealousy and wanting to talk about it. But I feel it's pointless to argue about it with her now, so I'm not going to push it anymore. I felt she deserved to be heard and understood last night when venting to me through text, and I had no disagreement with anything she said. Not last night, and not on the night that we fought and I broke up with her because of the flirting issue.

 

She said she wants to help me, as a friend, to work through my insecurity so I don't repeat this with another woman. She also said because I removed her from my social media accounts, she's not re-friending me until after some time when I've shown her I've matured. I'm "on probation." She said she lost all romantic feelings for me because of the way I exploded and kicked her out of my apartment that night. I guess I wouldn't want to be with me either. I swear I was calm initially and thought the conversation would go well, but I got more and more upset when she could not empathize at all with my feelings about what I saw. But that's my issue, I guess, if she is not willing to help or do something about it. And that was why I chose to break up with her. She put the issue in my hands, made me 100% responsible, and at that point I knew it was either swallow my feelings and let her be open to these guys' advances or draw a line and say I am not willing to accept it and walk away. I chose the latter.

 

In conclusion, I don't disagree with her on anything she has said or felt throughout all of this; I've taken her very seriously, and I am willing to own up to my behavior and make changes where I can over time. But what ultimately upset me that night, and what still does, is that I do not feel she is willing to consider her own role, no matter how 'innocent' her intentions were. I am not entirely surprised though. I know in her marriage that when she is upset with her husband she gives him the silent treatment for several days, and she has admitted that over the years her husband has "given up" and "learned to accept" her ways. I know he protested her dancing hobby initially, because he felt it was risky and inappropriate, but ultimately he "gave up and accepted it" and then shortly after is when she met me while out dancing, and we started the affair some months later. I didn't bring this up to her because I know throwing it in her face will not do any good, but I can see her husband's point. I saw it with my own two eyes. She does not know how to draw boundaries until it's too late. I guess neither do I.

 

When I saw my dance teammate obviously flirting and escalating interest in this woman, in my head I saw her and myself when we first met. I saw no boundaries being drawn, no indication that she was taken by another man. I saw in my head the night she initiated the first kiss with me in my car. I saw the past instances when she told me about how cheated on her husband with a couple of one night stands. And then, there in that moment, with my teammate flirting with her in front of me and her smiling and laughing back, I knew that only thing I could do was either be like her husband and "accept it" or say I don't feel good about it and want to address it, whether her intentions with this guy are innocent or not.

 

She does admit that she has her own problems and wants to work on them (always being late, on her phone, disorganized), but that's what she says. I haven't known her personally long enough to see what she does. I really, really hope she is not pregnant with my child.

 

I hope we can make the friendship and dance partnership work. We've committed to work together for the next several months.

Edited March 4, 2018 by TunaInTheBrine

[road]

Hand in your man card.

On probation for setting clear an appropriate boundaries?

[LivingWaterPlease]

She wants to "help you, as a friend, work through your insecurity," huh? How altruistic of her! And here I thought she was just a self-absorbed, narcissistic, run-of-the-mill hussy!

 

Tuna! Snap out of it! This woman is flagellating you for being a normal male who doesn't want his gf acting as if she may want to get it on with another man! Right in front of his face, no less!

 

And you're apologizing as she whips you into shape!

 

You know the way you felt when you watched her making goo goo eyes with the other guy? Well, her hubby would feel a million times worse if he knew what she's been doing with you!

 

You have no room to complain about the way she's treating you, sorry. Quit talking with her. Quit doing anything with her. She's a dead end. With a cliff right there where the road stops where you can dive off into a deep dark abyss!

[Space Ritual]

We wound up texting for a couple of hours last night to figure things out.

 

She was firm that we were done romantically, but that she is open to staying friends, hanging out in public (not alone at my place), and remaining dancing partners.

 

She was unwavering on her take on the situation that led to the breakup - she really believes she did not do anything wrong and the problem is 100% my insecurity. I let her vent, agreed with her that I have issues, apologized, and told her I understood the rationale for not being together anymore.

 

Silently, not telling her this, but I still believe that even if she didn't "do" anything wrong, I wish she would have responded more sensitively to my feeling concerned that some guy was coming on to her and she did nothing about it. I don't disagree with anything she said about my insecurity, but I do believe most guys in my situation would have felt some degree of jealousy if they saw what I saw that night. What ultimately pushed me over the edge with her was not the event itself, because I know she is not going to do anything with that guy, but it was the way she ultimately put 100% of the issue onto me when I brought it up with her in a very rational and non-accusatory way. I felt like I did the responsible thing by naming my jealousy and wanting to talk about it. But I feel it's pointless to argue about it with her now, so I'm not going to push it anymore. I felt she deserved to be heard and understood last night when venting to me through text, and I had no disagreement with anything she said. Not last night, and not on the night that we fought and I broke up with her because of the flirting issue.

 

She said she wants to help me, as a friend, to work through my insecurity so I don't repeat this with another woman. She also said because I removed her from my social media accounts, she's not re-friending me until after some time when I've shown her I've matured. I'm "on probation." She said she lost all romantic feelings for me because of the way I exploded and kicked her out of my apartment that night. I guess I wouldn't want to be with me either. I swear I was calm initially and thought the conversation would go well, but I got more and more upset when she could not empathize at all with my feelings about what I saw. But that's my issue, I guess, if she is not willing to help or do something about it. And that was why I chose to break up with her. She put the issue in my hands, made me 100% responsible, and at that point I knew it was either swallow my feelings and let her be open to these guys' advances or draw a line and say I am not willing to accept it and walk away. I chose the latter.

 

In conclusion, I don't disagree with her on anything she has said or felt throughout all of this; I've taken her very seriously, and I am willing to own up to my behavior and make changes where I can over time. But what ultimately upset me that night, and what still does, is that I do not feel she is willing to consider her own role, no matter how 'innocent' her intentions were. I am not entirely surprised though. I know in her marriage that when she is upset with her husband she gives him the silent treatment for several days, and she has admitted that over the years her husband has "given up" and "learned to accept" her ways. I know he protested her dancing hobby initially, because he felt it was risky and inappropriate, but ultimately he "gave up and accepted it" and then shortly after is when she met me while out dancing, and we started the affair some months later. I didn't bring this up to her because I know throwing it in her face will not do any good, but I can see her husband's point. I saw it with my own two eyes. She does not know how to draw boundaries until it's too late. I guess neither do I.

 

When I saw my dance teammate obviously flirting and escalating interest in this woman, in my head I saw her and myself when we first met. I saw no boundaries being drawn, no indication that she was taken by another man. I saw in my head the night she initiated the first kiss with me in my car. I saw the past instances when she told me about how cheated on her husband with a couple of one night stands. And then, there in that moment, with my teammate flirting with her in front of me and her smiling and laughing back, I knew that only thing I could do was either be like her husband and "accept it" or say I don't feel good about it and want to address it, whether her intentions with this guy are innocent or not.

 

She does admit that she has her own problems and wants to work on them (always being late, on her phone, disorganized), but that's what she says. I haven't known her personally long enough to see what she does. I really, really hope she is not pregnant with my child.

 

I hope we can make the friendship and dance partnership work. We've committed to work together for the next several months.

 

Hey Tuna, we've met before on LS.

 

You already know what a going to say but it really bears repeating.

 

You have only been dating for a short duration. She exhibits this behavior in this initial stage?

 

The amount of time you put into the last post should be about the same mount of time you should reflect upon what you did wrong.

 

Which was nothing,

 

She didn't take long to show you who shh was, so consider yourself lucky. And for God's sake, don't be friends or anything else for that matter, with her. It will come back to bite you and you'll accept crumbs from somebody who has loose boundaries and wants you to just get over it.

 

 

Dance away from her like she smells of gasoline and regret, because if you cave in at all, she will burn your heart and make you regret it.