Did I overreact or was breaking up over flirting the right decision?

[road]

And yes, virtually all the men in dancing classes are there to hook up with women. Hell, it was the reason I became interested in dance years ago, although it's not the reason I stayed. In fact, these days I have a no-dating policy within the dance community, because I know how rampant jealousy and drama is between people who date in dance. Especially the type of dance I practice. It is a very intimate, close, sensual dance. But despite my policy, once in a while something happens with a woman. And it never ends well.

 

Almost ALL of the guys I know in the dance community are constantly on the prowl, flirting, and even if they're your "friend" they will go after your girl. A lot of the guys don't talk to or befriend each other because they see each other as competition, or they stop talking because of a girl. Another reason why I don't like dance teams. Maybe it's not this way everywhere, but it has been my experience in the local dance community for 10 years now. And I don't feel the need to compete with other guys in the scene or chase girls. I just want to escape my everyday life/stress, get exercise, and practice a creative art. It gets annoying, and I've had to back away from the scene at times when it gets to be too much.

 

I've already been in counseling for this same issue when I was involved with the engaged woman last year. I saw that therapist for over 5 years (long before the prior affair). I know you don't know much about that situation, but if you go back and read my old threads from a year ago, you'll see that we started out ethically as an open relationship and her fiancé approved of me. It only became an affair later. It doesn't make it any better, I know. With this most recent woman who is married, I honestly had no intentions of pursuing her. She was just a friend and dancing partner in my eyes. I was fine leaving it at that. But she later came on to me very strong, initiated the kissing, etc... I actually rejected her at first, but ultimately, I caved in because I thought she was someone special and it must be real if she's willing to do this with me. But I realized what it really was very quickly and then got out.

 

Please, I hope you can give me some credit and see that my heart is in the right place, even if I've made a lot of mistakes. I am not an evil person trying to do bad things, man. I'm trying.

 

I commend you for being in IC.

 

I condemn you for being with the same IC for five years and you

still are not fixed. Not time to stop IC. Just time to fire your old IC

and find a new and competent IC.

 

Many IC's are in it for the money. They will not say what you need to

hear but rather tell you what you want to hear so you keep paying

them every week.