Charlotte30 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I popped up at my boyfriend house and when I got there he was in his boxers and this girl was sitting at his kitchen table fully clothes and when I went in his bedroom the girl had a overnight bag in his room . He told me she was just a friend and we got into a huge fight and I left but the next day he claims that she was just a friend and she lives out of town and her child was in the children’s hospital here and she just wanted to take a shower.do u think this is a lie or u think he could be telling the truth because why was the bag in his room and not the other bedroom or even bathroom Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 He is definitely 100% lying to you through his teeth. Dump him. He is cheating on you. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
NomiMalone Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm afraid he is absolutely lying. He came up with the "children's hospital" excuse after he's had time to think one up after you left that night. Break up with him and don't speak to him again. Do not contact him, and do not respond to any contact from him. He doesn't deserve to have you in his life. I know this doesn't change anything, or make things any less horrible, but the silver lining in this situation is that you happened to catch him. Otherwise you might never have found out, and he could've gotten away with cheating on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 It is highly suspicious. Even if her kid was in the hospital, her bag should have been in the other bedroom & he would have told you about her presence before she arrived. It was in his room because she was sharing his bed. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Other bedroom available, her bag in his, him in boxers in front of her, didn't let you know this dear friend was in town. As close to 100% chance as you can get without actually seeing the act that he has a sexual relationship with her. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Yes, he is lying... no doubt. You need to dump him, I am sorry. If you guys are long-term and exclusive, this is not the guy. I am sorry. You need to move on... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charlotte30 Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 He was saying in front of her that she’s just a friend but he got real angry at me and I asked the girl to leave so me and him could talk and she said she didn’t have to go anywhere.He is mad and blaming me saying he’s going to keep his distance because I’m ruining his friendships and acting crazy when I didn’t know what was really going on Link to post Share on other sites
grassisorisntgreener Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 He was saying in front of her that she’s just a friend but he got real angry at me and I asked the girl to leave so me and him could talk and she said she didn’t have to go anywhere.He is mad and blaming me saying he’s going to keep his distance because I’m ruining his friendships and acting crazy when I didn’t know what was really going on Absolutely do NOT let him make you feel like you are in the wrong here. He is lying to you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 He was saying in front of her that she’s just a friend but he got real angry at me and I asked the girl to leave so me and him could talk and she said she didn’t have to go anywhere.He is mad and blaming me saying he’s going to keep his distance because I’m ruining his friendships and acting crazy when I didn’t know what was really going on What is going on... is that he is a cheating liar. She is his FB, but she does not give a rats a&& what you think. Like I said, dump him. There are a million guys out there... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 He was saying in front of her that she’s just a friend but he got real angry at me and I asked the girl to leave so me and him could talk and she said she didn’t have to go anywhere.He is mad and blaming me saying he’s going to keep his distance because I’m ruining his friendships and acting crazy when I didn’t know what was really going on Not only is he a liar but he's a gaslighter. He thinks you are stupid & he has no respect for you. Have some respect for yourself & walk away. I'm serious if she was only a friend, when she informed him that her son was in the hospital & needed a place to stay he would have told you at a minimum. If nothing was going on he could have given her his keys & stayed with you while she was at his place. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 If he hadn't been hiding something, he certainly would have told you the sad story before she showed up about the friend whose poor child was in the hospital. I mean, if he's your bf, seems like a pretty obvious conversation, right? He's lying. I will say this: Even IF she had a kid in the hospital, he didn't tell you she was coming because he hoped something might happen between them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Okay...So he IS screwing another chick. Yup. And the fact that they acted all nonchalant about it is disturbing. Since your not married, you can do two things...Ghost his butt and leave. Or, you act nonchalant about it as well, and start dating and having guys over. After all, they're just friends right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Welcome to LS and sorry for your experience. Human relations vary widely. Since you don't share a home or children, I'd leave things as they are and go quiet and decline contact. As an older and far more cynical person, I've come to enjoy seeing just how creative liars can be. It's kinda fun playing with them. However, you're looking for a healthy dating partner so no sense in using this for entertainment purposes. Accept that the whole scenario is highly suspect, his care and compassion for you is remarkably low, and process that as you see fit. As mentioned, there are many other guys out there and this experience can be a great lesson in 'guy stuff'. Make use of it. Good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CardsFan01 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 He’s lying. But I’m curious, how long have you been together? I find it hard to imagine that if you were in a serious relationship you wouldn’t have already have known who this friend was, if they are close enough for her to just swing by and take a shower. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charlotte30 Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 We’ve been together 3 years and we have a 1 year old together and the day I caught him doing this our child was with me and he choked me and put me out in front of our son and the girl Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 We’ve been together 3 years and we have a 1 year old together and the day I caught him doing this our child was with me and he choked me and put me out in front of our son and the girl Have you completely lost your mind? Why didn't you call the cops? Why in the world are you still with this guy? Do you understand that he is an abuser and he should have been arrested? Do you understand that he could have hurt the child as well? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CardsFan01 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 We’ve been together 3 years and we have a 1 year old together and the day I caught him doing this our child was with me and he choked me and put me out in front of our son and the girl Um, that seems like some relatively important information that should have maybe been included in your original past. If that’s the case, why were you even back there, and why does it matter if he’s lying or not? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 We’ve been together 3 years and we have a 1 year old together and the day I caught him doing this our child was with me and he choked me and put me out in front of our son and the girl Not only is he LYING, he's abusing you. He assaulted you. Instead of posting here you should have called the cops & had him arrested. Please get away from this man before he kills you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charlotte30 Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 The only reason I didn’t is because I pushed him in his chest first because I was hurt that when he started choking me and I was telling him I couldn’t breath and he wouldn’t stop Link to post Share on other sites
CardsFan01 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 That was terrible of him to do that to you. That said, if you give him the opportunity do do it again, that’s on you. He’s cheating on you, and physically abusing you. No sane person would continue in that relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 The only reason I didn’t is because I pushed him in his chest first because I was hurt that when he started choking me and I was telling him I couldn’t breath and he wouldn’t stop Like d0nnivain said... Get away from this guy before he kills you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 The only reason I didn’t is because I pushed him in his chest first because I was hurt that when he started choking me and I was telling him I couldn’t breath and he wouldn’t stop So what you pushed him???? You think you pushing him deserves being choked? You need to report this to the police, and please be a better mother!! Allowing your baby to be in the presence of a violent man is not being a good mother. Who will take care of your child if he kills you?! Thousands of women are killed by their boyfriends each year!! and you are playing with your life and the life of your child. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 We’ve been together 3 years and we have a 1 year old together and the day I caught him doing this our child was with me and he choked me and put me out in front of our son and the girl I guess it's hard for you to be objective because it's a lot to consider at once, but I don't think you'll find one person on this board who wouldn't tell you to call the police and report him choking you and then contacting a women's shelter or using police resources to get yourself to a secret safe place with your child. Choking is an indication that he is capable of killing you. I'm not exaggerating. People who will choke will kill. It's not like how some couples brawl. That's bad, but this is worse. And if you don't take your child and get it out of this home and get him prosecuted and leave him, then unfortunately, you will be in danger of losing your child because it shouldn't be in this home at all, no matter how much you think you protect it. It shouldn't be there. You owe this child to take it and get out. Call the police on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charlotte30 Posted March 2, 2018 Author Share Posted March 2, 2018 Thanks everyone for your advice I knew in my heart his story didn’t sound right and you’re right I need to get me and my son far away from him 5 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 I popped up at my boyfriend house and when I got there he was in his boxers and this girl was sitting at his kitchen table fully clothes and when I went in his bedroom the girl had a overnight bag in his room . He told me she was just a friend and we got into a huge fight and I left but the next day he claims that she was just a friend and she lives out of town and her child was in the children’s hospital here and she just wanted to take a shower.do u think this is a lie or u think he could be telling the truth because why was the bag in his room and not the other bedroom or even bathroom I'll just mention this one thing - it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex. However, whatever he does with his opposite sex friend, he needed to be 100% open and honest to you about what he was up to. If he truly had nothing to hide, he would have told you this girl was coming over and worked out a way to ensure you were comfortable with it. We’ve been together 3 years and we have a 1 year old together and the day I caught him doing this our child was with me and he choked me and put me out in front of our son and the girl Please, run. The moment this happens is the moment it's considered domestic violence. Don't ever put up with being treated like that. Sure you pushing him is perhaps not great, but to me that's a grey area that can be de-escalated as a once off. To say that choking is crossing the line is a massive understatement. The safety of you and your child is paramount. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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