OneLov Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 Thanks everyone for the advice about at least contacting a lawyer for a consultation. I did just this and made an appointment for next week. I feel better after making the appointment. From what I read, which confirms the replies here, she won't get half of everything if we get a divorce. With the house being an asset of mine before we got married that would likely remain with me. If she wants to play that game, which I don't, then her car which she bought after we got married needs be split but mine doesn't as I bought it before we got married. I really don't want to go down this route and just want us to be able to agree on things without lawyers, will see. Overall I feel better just knowing I may never have to hear her insults again. Even last night I was being bashed for us not having kids yet with her saying "my sister even said we don't have kids as you are an immature little boy". I told her we don't have a family yet due to our arguing. Every time she says stuff like this I feel like I have to start listing stuff off to defend myself, I'm done doing that. It’s not so black-and-white. You definitely need to talk to an attorney. She may have a half interest in your house’s increased value during the marriage. Also, if she contributed money for mortgage payments or repairs and maintenance will also blur the lines. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 there is no need to insist that an affair is going on with zero evidence. they have enough problems and more than enough reason to break up already! why intentionally try to make things messier? especially if he accuses her of that, and he's wrong, she may be able to leverage that against him. SMM, how many times have you said this to me in particular? And how many times have you been wrong? Odds are overwhelming that I am right. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 My mom went through a divorce from a man she'd been with for 6 years. He was a real a-hole, fought the lawyers tooth and nail on everything, basic things that he had to contribute, even went out of state after court-mandated actions for 3 months at a time--two of his lawyers dumped him, even. She finally just walked away from everything she was owed after 3 years and $17,000 of legal fees. This should have been an uncomplicated divorce since there were no kids and hardly any other shared assets (she also paid all the house bills in her name), but he even tried to fight things like being compensated for old furniture you couldn't even really give away on Craigslist. It was his 3rd or 4th divorce and he knew no one really enforces certain things, so he just ignored anything he didn't want to deal with. Anyway, she had a house before marrying him and he didn't have that type of asset. In California, the house is considered a protected asset since she had it before she was married to him, but any interest or increased value on the house accrued since marriage is potentially up for grabs. The only way I think your watches would be on the line is if you purchased them after marriage. Also, in the case of my mom, when his lawyers dumped him, he was able to contact her lawyers and she would have been stuck with the fees. Luckily, her lawyer saw through him and didn't charge her for the communication, but he could have. One of her lawyers advised my mom to initiate the paper work since her ex moved to another county--so that she had the power in where the legal case would be held for her convenience. Also, she was advised that whoever initiates the papers is able to set the initial terms so that the other party is more on the "defense" at first. Anyway, get rid of this toxic, abusive woman. What a miserable life you'd have if you tried to stick it out--I bet she would seek a divorce anyway and then have a much higher stake in the outcome after 10 years. Dump her before it's too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 Ugh. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It certainly makes you rethink things when your partner says such awful things. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 She sounds like a nasty, greedy and spiteful woman. While she's eyeing up your watch collection...keep an eye on her shoes, bags, jewellery etc.. it works both ways. Proceed to divorce..quickly...and I'd keep those watches somewhere very safe..not in your house. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Unless she's been paying for half your house, she won't get your house, but if she's been paying towards it or even paying all the utilities or something, she might get some of it. Otherwise, if it's a community property state, you'll keep what you came in with and split what you bought together. Yes, she's your wife. If it's not a community property state, she may get half of everything. You will need an attorney and so will she, and then both of you will end up with nothing in the end. Look up divorce laws in your state and then see if you can make an amicable division or the attorney will be the only one who comes out ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 SMM, how many times have you said this to me in particular? And how many times have you been wrong? Odds are overwhelming that I am right. considering that what I generally say is more or less innocent until proven guilty, its literally impossible for me to be wrong Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 considering that what I generally say is more or less innocent until proven guilty, its literally impossible for me to be wrong Interesting logic... Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 SMM, how many times have you said this to me in particular? And how many times have you been wrong? Odds are overwhelming that I am right. I'm not a betting man, but I bet you're right. She's got the classic signs of a woman who is bitter because her husband is holding her back from her lover and it is somehow all his fault. Op - after you speak to a lawyer I would recommend you file first. Better to be on the offensive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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