Emotional attachment?

[sparkleguts]

I posted earlier, but removed it as I felt it was a little too revealing.

This guy is my professor. I'm an older student and I do have feelings for him, but would never act on anything as I respect his job and realize it is unethical to do so among other things. With that being said, we're only human.

We've developed a bond. I'm not currently in his class but we meet every once in a while to talk. He has acknowledged a connection between us and says he enjoys working with me more than any of his other students.

I've been having a hard time and he did something that upset me, unknowingly. He asked if we were okay and once I explained the situation, he seemed relieved. Something that stood out to me was that he said he was hurt that I pushed him away. It made him sad and worried. I didn't realize he was so invested in me that my pushing away would affect him like that.

I could go into more detail about how he acts toward me (prolonged eye contact, taking a walk, some touching that could be considered intimate but nothing creepy or inappropriate, etc.). I have had some friends and other professors suggest he may have low key feelings for me. What do you all think? Just a nice guy or is he into me?

[somanymistakes]

is he married? Be very careful here.

 

regardless of whether he's into you or not, you should probably steer clear while he's your professor. this is an emotionally dangerous situation. both of you could get hurt and your careers and educations could be damaged.

 

he should know better, and the fact tha the doesn't is worrying.

[sparkleguts]

Yeah it's definitely danger zone material. He is old enough to be my father. Also married and regardless of my pathetic little crush, I respect that. When I initially tried to steer clear for my sake, I was surprised that he was bothered by it. I feel like if he wasn't emotionally invested in me, he wouldn't have made much of a point to approach me about it. He is a nice guy and wants to be on good terms with his students, but I don't know about this. Might try to keep my distance again and see what happens. I certainly don't want to play games with him, but I'm just a little surprised.

[preraph]

His words he enjoys working with you more than others tells me he is trying to convey that this is professional rather than personal. Now, he IS human and he IS a man and an older married one at that, so is he flattered? Of course. Does he think some of the students are cute? Of course.

[sparkleguts]

Totally reasonable. I'm afraid to give too much more away but when some delicate touching (small of my back while guiding me through a door and some hand holding) and a hug come into play, it feels less professional and more personal. These were done out of care and concern as I was in rough place. Felt fatherly in a way. Is it appropriate for him to treat me like this? I don't know. I can't seem to accept either answer and probably won't have any peace unless I hear it from him. UGH!

[preraph]

Guiding you through a door with hand on back is just something a mature gentleman might do. Not sure about the hand-holding. It could be fatherly. But remember even if he's a good faithful man, he is still a man and don't make his life miserable tempting him. No way he's leaving his wife for you. And if he did, you'd soon wonder what on earth made you think you wanted that.

[sparkleguts]

Oh, I don't intend on it. Been in that type of mess before. Never again. If anything, this has just been frustrating for me. It's nice to have a support system but not when the wrong feelings are involved. I'm just going to keep my distance, let the feelings run their course, and move on. Thanks for your input.