My gf hurt and kill animals in the past, should I be concerned?

[preraph]

Unless she went through a lot of therapy back then to change, I wouldn't ever trust her around a pet and if she hurt one, I'd call the police. Texas just sent three guys to prison, one for stomping a dog to death and the other two for dragging a kitten behind their truck.

 

A person can luuuuuuv kids and torture animals. So don't go by that. Personally, I wouldn't have anything to do with someone that did that at any age. Why? Because by then you either have learned empathy or you have not.

[BaileyB]

Hurting and/or enjoying the pain of animals is a key indicator of sociopathic behavior.

 

I would be very concerned.

[todreaminblue]

Oh, my, deb! Let's think about that one! The word that came to mind was ignore, but then I looked on a list and saw neglect...yet further on down the list was victimize!

 

i feel ignore comes close...if it were to be ignorance of inherent natural feminine instinct to nurture.....to choose not to feel that instinct... ignore what is god given.....or for an evolutionist perspective what is an inherited characteristic evolved over thousands of years to continue the human race ...the ability to nurture being a dominant characteristic that makes a species survive.....found that out on national geographic .....what makes a species dominant is the capacity to nurture offspring to adulthood.....pretty cool huh.....considering god gave them that characteristic....smilin...of course...so an evolutionist creationist perspective....

 

 

man was given dominion over animals for the capacity we have to nurture and respect life not our own...so therefore the dominant species.....

 

when women go around stabbing and maiming life if not in defense.........girl or woman..there's something wrong with the nurture gene....an ignorance..a hardness where there should be softness...you can dislike animals but not hurt them...you can even dislike kids...but if that kid was crossing the road and a truck was coming anyone with heart would....you would try to save the kid...because its in our makeup...in our characteristic of humanity to do so.........

 

can the nurture gene be taught....or fixed by psychiatry.....im not so sure...to do something to an animal violent means that violence is in that person.... kid or animal.and its not hatred over love....its indifference or ignorance of another life itself to be in existence......if it were my child exhibiting that behaviour....i think it would just about do me in...i certainly would get help ...for them ...and for me to deal with it.....because i would myself...be traumatized and want to know why and how and if it could be fixed and want to fix it ......deb.......

Edited March 5, 2018 by todreaminblue

[Springsummer]

Unless she went through a lot of therapy back then to change, I wouldn't ever trust her around a pet and if she hurt one, I'd call the police. Texas just sent three guys to prison, one for stomping a dog to death and the other two for dragging a kitten behind their truck.

 

A person can luuuuuuv kids and torture animals. So don't go by that. Personally, I wouldn't have anything to do with someone that did that at any age. Why? Because by then you either have learned empathy or you have not.

 

In my culture there is a saying that people's characters are pretty much determined by age 3.

 

I think empathy probably is more innate than learnt.

[KevinDuff90]

Well my feelings are hurt that she hurt those animals. I don't forgive her. How could she STAB a cat? Is this really for real?

That revelation gets me sad too. This was also part what I got Linda that day. She knew about the cat incident because she told her with a smile on her face.

 

 

Linda was shocked to hear that coming from a then little 10 year-old girl asked her why. Her only answer was that she just liked hurting things and an ''hey we all die too''. Then she went on saying she already told her classmates only to then say ''Just kidding, it's a joke'' and kept smiling. Linda knew it was no joke at all.

My gf confirmed it was true what she did with the cat.

Have you two had a fight yet?

Not yet. Somehow we always come to an agreement and she's a very relaxed, laid-back woman.

[preraph]

I think the truth lies that it may vary by culture. If parents were raised brutally due to customs and practices accepted in a certain culture, they will have limited empathy just in order to keep carrying out those practices. So yes, then the child can't learn empathy because the child got none. But I mostly believe empathy is learned, though certainly a head injury one got at any time in life including infancy can do a range of things from make a person violent to making them unempathetic. But the vast majority of it is learned, as far as the experts know. Of course, some people don't even know they had a head injury and many people don't take them seriously or even think about them if there's no external bleeding or whatever.

 

One of my best friend's husbands completely changed after two head injuries they both chose not to go to the hospital for. He went from being a charming guy with a job to getting mean and disorganized and drinking and running off with women and ended up dying young just from falling apart. My friend just had no idea what caused it until she confided in me. They were both doctor-phobic. So that's where that'll get ya.

[preraph]

This girl likely reacted to some trauma in her life by lashing out at the animals. But still, she has some lack of empathy to be able to do so. A person I know hates animals (but pretends she doesn't) because she was jealous of the attention they got from her messed up father, who had few boundaries.

[todreaminblue]

That revelation gets me sad too. This was also part what I got Linda that day. She knew about the cat incident because she told her with a smile on her face.

 

 

Linda was shocked to hear that coming from a then little 10 year-old girl asked her why. Her only answer was that she just liked hurting things and an ''hey we all die too''. Then she went on saying she already told her classmates only to then say ''Just kidding, it's a joke'' and kept smiling. Linda knew it was no joke at all.

My gf confirmed it was true what she did with the cat.

Not yet. Somehow we always come to an agreement and she's a very relaxed, laid-back woman.

 

most psychopaths are very laid back.....easy going...even affable....charming...pleasant non assuming....because honestly...they dont care what you think or feel...which is lack of any empathy.......they dont have that moral compass action going....if she had true remorse was she crying visibly upset or have you ever seen her visibly upset over anything if so ...what ?..serial killers beat lie detectors because they remain ....calm......heart rate doesnt elevate...they discuss murder like they would discuss taking a shower....theres laid back and then theres....absence of empathy or feeling....and i have met a few ....like this...they smile......but it doesnt go near their eyes at all......deb

Edited March 6, 2018 by todreaminblue

[Brieanna]

Gotta say...reading all this really does not sit well with me one bit.

 

Then she went on saying she already told her classmates only to then say ''Just kidding, it's a joke'' and kept smiling. Linda knew it was no joke at all.

 

Her also bragging and enjoying a reaction from classmates, wow!

 

Then you say you she is a very “relaxed, laid back woman”

OMG NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

So you are saying she has complete control of her emotions, really stays chillaxed???

You mean like someone who lacks a range of feelings? Lacks empathy, possibly only demonstrating “learned empathy” yet not really experiencing much range of emotions other than wanting entertainment, laughing ....???

Someone who can stay calm and calculated when others are stressed and anxious or such?

 

Idk dude...

Telling me that you have never truely seen her upset during an argument just does not sit any better with me than stabbing a cat does.

It ALL sends chills up my spine!

[KevinDuff90]

Before knowing all this, I felt like one of the luckiest man ever. During all our 4 year-old relationship, I've never seen her really upset. I've seen her expressing disappointment (the time she didn't get promoted to management but only supervision position), sadness when her grandmother died, happiness; everything except aner. So yes I've never seen her lose her temper before.

[KevinDuff90]

There is one part that is bothering me. By text I wrote here this ''I assume you've apologized to them and the son right'' and she replied an hour later saying no but that she will and wanted to for the longest. Wasn't that reunion the perfect time to apologize if someone is remorseful? I know I would have been begging for their forgiveness if I were her and did something that terrible.

 

 

Why isn't she apologizing if she's remorseful? She said she'll do it but hasn't yet.

Edited March 6, 2018 by KevinDuff90
Update

[Brieanna]

Idk why she is not remorseful.

 

My ex’s daughter had no empathy.

It was not easy to realize. She actually presented as a normal little girl. This stuff can be on a spectrum. So she did not kill animals that I know of. However, she did seem to enjoy watching their discomfort. She killed a plant of mine for revenge. We searched her internet history and email... to our face was this “perfect” lovable little girl. In email, behind our backs... she wanted us dead. She was having homocidal ideations over harming her dad and I. (Mostly dad). She was researching plants, poisons, how to kill somone untraceable, learning uses of herbs, how to identify mushrooms that are poison. She ended up staging stuff or influencing stuff in weird ways....playing people like puppets for her entertainment.

 

I say this... because her affect did not appear odd unless I explained to you what nuances to look for. And no one would have realized what was going on in her head had we not got a hold of her emails and internet history.

 

She was in therapy, and her therapist ended up admitting he was shocked and that this little girl was soooo clever that she even fooled him!

 

So, she rarely cried...she was mostly unaffected emotionally by sadness. (I think this part may be greyness for some tho). She mostly seeked pleasure stuff like laughing, entertainment stuff emotionally. She never seemed too disappointed by disapntments. She was unaffected by punishments or consequences. I learned that if she felt slighted....she was likely going to find a secret way to punish someone....for me one day...it was simply my plant getting poisoned... it was subtle...sent me a message...she had done a science experiement the year prior on poisoning plants so was clearly sending me a message and wanted me to piece this together.

 

Anyway... sorry for the ramble

Am only expressing how this presented in one situation because I think that child still has most people fooled still. (We broke up so I do not see her anymore)

[todreaminblue]

Before knowing all this, I felt like one of the luckiest man ever. During all our 4 year-old relationship, I've never seen her really upset. I've seen her expressing disappointment (the time she didn't get promoted to management but only supervision position), sadness when her grandmother died, happiness; everything except aner. So yes I've never seen her lose her temper before.

 

expressing anger is healthy.....because when you express an emotion you deal with it and the intense emotion subsides to allow a calm emotive state.......you say she felt "sadness " when her grandmother passed away...but then you say you havent seen her visibly upset.....how did she show "sadness" how did she express disappointment....in words.....or actions/.....deb

[neowulf]

You should probably keep in mind that psychopaths are by nature consummate lairs.

 

If I found out a girl I was dating used to torture animals for fun, you'd better believe I'd be running for the door.

 

Just ask yourself. You want to have children with this woman some day? Really?

[todreaminblue]

You should probably keep in mind that psychopaths are by nature consummate lairs.

 

If I found out a girl I was dating used to torture animals for fun, you'd better believe I'd be running for the door.

 

Just ask yourself. You want to have children with this woman some day? Really?

 

 

I agree with you neo....

 

honestly the only time that a person really gets to have insight to people who kill or torture animals is on the news when they are facing serious charges...or on documentaries on what makes a killer......

 

what i am curious about is the fact that you OP were told......and why were you told...if by her.....why by her..... .if by her family was it a warning?.

 

OP

 

 

if a court case were to be had with an 11 year old standing trial the court would have been sealed .....the records would have been sealed as she was a minor who committed the crime.....as it was...seems like no consequences or court case happened from what you post.....so why were you told?.....the purpose of you knowing..was it intimidation tactics or manipulation manoeuvres either way...not very promising for a future with this woman who has unresolved violent and troubling issues that she herself committed on another living thing.... that were never dealt with......deb

Edited March 6, 2018 by todreaminblue

[KevinDuff90]

Brieanna, that's the most scariest story I've ever read. I think that girl is beyond getting repaired at that point.

 

 

I found Linda on fb and talking more to her. She was shocked to hear I've been dating my gf for 4 years and had no idea about what she did back then. I'm going to get more information from her.

[Brieanna]

What is scarier is that people without empathy are often undetected and have figured out how to blend in.

 

It would be driving me nuts thinking if my partner was behaving machiavellian, or had alterior motives or was pretending to sympathize with situations just for appearances sake...eh.

 

Likely best to keep your thoughts to yourself btw...not sharing with gf.

 

I found Linda on fb and talking more to her. She was shocked to hear I've been dating my gf for 4 years and had no idea about what she did back then. I'm going to get more information from her.

. I think getting more info is excellent idea!

[wmacbride]

In your shoes, I could never trust her. It sounds very much like she has the characteristics of a psychopath. That would make her very dangerous, not necessarily physically, but emotionally.

 

They use their ability to read people to fit in and fly under the radar. They can appear very kind and caring, but it's not real, and they can flip like a switch. From what I understand, it's a product of both nature and nurture, and it's not really treatable in any meaningful way. It doesn't always result in criminal behavior, but they often hurt a lot of people.

 

There are lots of female psychopaths, and they often end up causing a lot of damage to their relationship partners/ children. I'm not saying the woman who is the subject of this thread is a psychopath for sure, but if she hurt animals and enjoyed doing so as a child, it's really hard to believe she could somehow learn to understand their pain. Se might learn not to do it because it will keep her out of trouble, but that doesn't equate to understanding.

[todreaminblue]

In your shoes, I could never trust her. It sounds very much like she has the characteristics of a psychopath. That would make her very dangerous, not necessarily physically, but emotionally.

 

They use their ability to read people to fit in and fly under the radar. They can appear very kind and caring, but it's not real, and they can flip like a switch. From what I understand, it's a product of both nature and nurture, and it's not really treatable in any meaningful way. It doesn't always result in criminal behavior, but they often hurt a lot of people.

 

There are lots of female psychopaths, and they often end up causing a lot of damage to their relationship partners/ children. I'm not saying the woman who is the subject of this thread is a psychopath for sure, but if she hurt animals and enjoyed doing so as a child, it's really hard to believe she could somehow learn to understand their pain. Se might learn not to do it because it will keep her out of trouble, but that doesn't equate to understanding.

 

 

this woman isnt flying under the radar seems to be quite ...forthcoming with her maiming animals...i sort of find that.....unusual and more disturbing....confusing ...i have this brain thing happening where my brain shakes.....and its shaking....and normally it isnt good when it does that...makes me feel really quite...stupid and uncomprehending.because im ....literally...dumbfounded....maybe im not meant to go deeper into thoughts to find answers to this .....puzzle that is her..my heart doesnt want to know ..deb

Edited March 7, 2018 by todreaminblue

[KevinDuff90]

Apparently Linda hasn't heard much from her since she was 11. At the time, my gf and parents moved somewhere else. Given that information, it's not known when exactly was the last time she bullied others and hurt animals.

 

 

This is only her 3rd visit to her house ever since. The other two were a year after her HS graduation and in 2014. She has never apologized to her nor to their child until yesterday night for the first time on her fb message. Even then, she doesn't think it's a real, sincere apology and she shared it with me on my message.

 

 

Feel free to judge. This is what my gf's apology to Linda yesterday night is:

 

 

This what it said:

Hello Linda,

Even though it's been eons ago, first and foremost I would like to apologize for all the trouble and inconvenience I've caused. For that I'm sorry. It's very unfortunate my past is interfering in my relationship. I look forward to getting married and having kids someday.

Well I won't be bothering you anymore. That was my last visit. Bye.

Edited March 7, 2018 by KevinDuff90
update

[KevinDuff90]

I don't think it looks like a sincere apology either. Maybe I can be wrong. Maybe she's remorseful as she claims but I don't know.

Edited March 7, 2018 by KevinDuff90
update

[BarbedFenceRider]

She's 26 now and haven't noticed anything odd about her to be honest, other than what that revelation.

 

Thats what they ALL say..."He was such a quiet and gentle man." " She was a totally sweet and caring mother."

 

As the police tape is wrapped around the house....

[todreaminblue]

I don't think it looks like a sincere apology either. Maybe I can be wrong. Maybe she's remorseful as she claims but I don't know.

 

this

 

Hello Linda,

Even though it's been eons ago, first and foremost I would like to apologize for all the trouble and inconvenience I've caused. For that I'm sorry. It's very unfortunate my past is interfering in my relationship. I look forward to getting married and having kids someday.

Well I won't be bothering you anymore. That was my last visit. Bye.

 

is not an apology at all.....even though it has been eons ago...its very unfortunate and im sorry my past is interfering in my relationship...thats how im reading the above sorry for my life not sorry for yours.........goodbye message........

 

you know i looked up why my brain shook while i was trying to figure this woman out..and i never knew because i get it on loveshack a fair bit...i get high anxiety and stressed from reading about violence or possible violence..even sometimes that shaking brain comes for no visible reason...i feel its deceit mostly int hat case a wrongness about something written......its like im there trying to fix things and i cant ...so i get fight or flight response

 

when i was a young girl i witnessed a boy whipping a gorgeous green tree frog...till bright red weals were forming......my brain shook violently ...and i let out this banshee call ....i have always had lungs.....and the teacher came charging down grabbed me and basically ran me back to the dunce corner in the classroom...where i sat for the rest of the afternoon ..after she gave me a good talking tooo.....the boy...well....he enjoyed his day.....and i buried the frog before mum came to pick me up after school..........

 

 

.another time was when a gang of youth had attacked this beautiful horse in a paddock i used to call him dappley...he looked like sunlight and shadows.....dappled in sunlight and grey shadow......

 

i would walk down to his paddock every day with my little sister and i would feed him sugar cubes carrots and apples ...then one day he turned up in the morning newspaper .....a gang of youth had tortured him inserted barbed wire into him...makes me tear up now....he was so friendly he would whinny when he saw me and never bit me when i fed him ...a friendly horse....my sis and i loved him......... and he had to be put down..they werre caught .....and received really ...no punishment to be recorded,.......i felt so retarded uncomprehending its just like my heart going no no just no this cant be real.....when my grandpa told me about my favorite horse.... my brain shook.....

 

when i covered a guys body on the ground after watching him get kicked in the head to stop the guy from kicking him in the head my brain shook i tried to speak and i sounded retarded ......i just could say please stop my mouth dry and feeling like it wad full of marbles......felt like i was mentally impaired i couldnt ...understand why no one else was stopping it....

 

the same happens when i witness any form of bullying ...my brain...shakes....and i have to move i have to do something...... say something...fix it change it make a difference....or i have to leave or i have to go internal ..internal and disassociate which isnt so good for me......because i am frozen...i stand there till i get knocked down and i just keep gettign back up unable to speak..........a perfect target

 

i can read certain books and not be so affected with brain shakes......if its more clinical i guess or if i dotn read or think too deeply.........theres certain books however i just cant read snowtown murders was one of those....

 

i say to you now....

 

 

please read over your thread...and listen to your heart....ask god to be by your side in making the right decision....

 

be aware...she could turn ....quite nasty...her non apology shows that streak...my brain still doesnt feel normal.i wish you ......insight and discernment.....

your posts make my brain shake...there's ...evil in it .deceit.horribleness.....violence ...possible violence to come....wrongness

 

 

look its not normal its not right....and if i can feel that ......you must feel that sense of wrongness somewhere in your mind and heart...in her apology read it again...adn reword it ....doesnt take much to change the words to suit her.......in her demeanour....she needs help.....and she hasnt ever gotten it..

 

you may need to get help yourself if you stay...and it might be..... no one will be around to help you because she will isolate you from help.....and isolate you from people who know her....

 

 

better yet go get help to decide yourself on making a decision seek professional counselling to help you be strong....i could be as i have been told just a retard....who lives with a brain that shakes...maybe im just a total nutjob........so seek a professional who will guide you sure.....

.....listen carefully and be sure of what you do from now on..........

 

deb..

Edited March 7, 2018 by todreaminblue

[preraph]

I'm so protective of animals that I would tell someone in law enforcement about her and I'd report her if she ever got a pet to animal services. The bad thing about dropping someone like that is the next person may not keep watch on her. If you do dump her, maybe block her but tell her neighbors to call if she brings a pet home.

[BarbedFenceRider]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Brooks

 

^^This movie...Totally successful guy, world class murderer...lol

 

As for the email....It rings of the Hannibal Lector variety. Nope, no empathy.

And yes, you can do better.....Just when you get rid of her, don't accept any drinks or food from her. And wear a vest. You're gonna need it.