basil67 Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 That being said women aren't usually bothered by it because if a man has had a lot of partners it usually means he is desirable to women which is a huge plus to other women. Women tend to have this need for their men to be approved by other women that men on an average tend not to have. I think women could spare themselves a lot of heartbreak if they viewed men who play around in a negative way but that is another thread. Yes, for many women it's a thing to get your friend's approval. It's because we know our rose coloured glasses can lead us to overlook bad parts of his personality. Like if he's a 'know it all' or sits like a sad sack when socialising. However, I missed the memo that we are supposed to want men who are desirable to other women. Where did you get this information from? If he gets the stamp of approval by your mates, that's great - but sexual attraction has never come into it for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Yes, for many women it's a thing to get your friend's approval. It's because we know our rose coloured glasses can lead us to overlook bad parts of his personality. Like if he's a 'know it all' or sits like a sad sack when socialising. However, I missed the memo that we are supposed to want men who are desirable to other women. Where did you get this information from? If he gets the stamp of approval by your mates, that's great - but sexual attraction has never come into it for me. I never said women are supposed to but from what I have witnessed women tend to gravitate towards men who are preapproved by other women. Why do you think married men have such an easy time attracting women? Of course this is not all women but I have never seen a man with a promiscuous reputation have any trouble getting dates. These men are doing quite well. If women had the same attitude towards these men that a lot of men have towards promiscuous women they could spare themselves some heartbreak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 ^ Maybe it's just down to everyone likes the same small set of hot/popular guys/women, so it seems that way. But I WILL say I have one friend who was better looking and younger than me who seemed to mainly poach her friends' guys as if she needed to know someone she knew picked them and approved them. VERY annoying. So there's some truth in it, but it's certainly not universally the case. I will admit when in my first year in college, my friend pointed out a guy she thought was interesting and I got obsessed with him. She should have dumped me right then and there. Link to post Share on other sites
Agonistes Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Maybe promiscuous men are that way because they have no problem attracting women instead of women preferring promiscuous men. I haven't met one woman who would prefer a promiscuous man. But they do want a confident, masculine man. The fact that so many women want him could lead to promiscuity even if he is not naturally that way. I think someone may be confusing cause and effect here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Maybe promiscuous men are that way because they have no problem attracting women instead of women preferring promiscuous men. I haven't met one woman who would prefer a promiscuous man. But they do want a confident, masculine man. The fact that so many women want him could lead to promiscuity even if he is not naturally that way. I think someone may be confusing cause and effect here. Then why do you see so many examples of a man who struggles to attract women then when he does get a girlfriend or word gets around that he slept with a woman all of a sudden his stock goes way up. Pre Approval from other women is a big thing in in a men's attractiveness that it isn't when it is the other way around. I once knew a man who wore a fake wedding ring when he went out clubbing and it worked. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 (edited) Yep...Wogs on target.... The most desireable man to any woman is the one that's taken...Been proven a zillion times over... And I'll reiterate what I previously stated, because it ties directly in... Men who get a lot of sex are generally desirable, and have traits women want...Guys can't attract women for sex without bringing something of real value to the table......Women that get a lot of sex could be.....but not necessarily....Some of the ugliest and undesirable women I have ever known in my life were also the most promiscuous...As a matter of fact for some of these, they probably felt that they had to put out, because they had little else to offer... There isn't a guy on this planet that can pull that off...So why would women complain at that point? More than likely they are doing handsprings... TFY Edited March 9, 2018 by thefooloftheyear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I just think that may only be true of a certain type of woman. Maybe one who actually doesn't want commitment or anything heavy. I know it's not all women. Most women I know except one wouldn't go after a married man. My married female friend says she gets hit on more once she married. I think it's people hoping for a one-off no strings thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I just think that may only be true of a certain type of woman. Maybe one who actually doesn't want commitment or anything heavy. I know it's not all women. Most women I know except one wouldn't go after a married man. My married female friend says she gets hit on more once she married. I think it's people hoping for a one-off no strings thing. Nothing is ever all women or all men because people are individuals but there are trends. The fact is that men who have already been vetted by other women such as married men and men who sleep around tend to have a much easier time dating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Nothing is ever all women or all men because people are individuals but there are trends. The fact is that men who have already been vetted by other women such as married men and men who sleep around tend to have a much easier time dating. It may be more accurate to say that a certain population will find taken men and/or men who have been promiscuous more attractive. In my career, I have found this to be an anomaly that is based in attention seeking behavior for both women and men. Essentially, women who are promiscuous tend to seek men who are also promiscuous and reverse. I don't know a woman in my personal life who would want to date a man that has been with lot's of women. STD's Pregnancy risk Shallow...whoever is there... beyond turnoff for any women I have met, I'm a woman. This must be a subculture. The women I know, including myself, don't take a man with a high count seriously, or bed them. We are their friends who laugh about their stupid crap and if they ask, tell them to grow up. I don't even have a woman friend who isn't married and so honest that we see each other for lunch; so there goes my vote. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Big numbers are just because the guy is hot enough to get sex that much or hs something special that draws women to him because he's in the public eye (music, sports, cops) and because that fact also makes him confident enough to not hesitate when approaching or bedding women, although it is no indicator of how good they are in bed. They may be good and they likely know how to be good, but they may have it so easy and care so little that they are lazy in bed. I don't know anyone who purposefully goes after guys who have been previously married. It usually happens by accident and it's no indicator they're anything special. Sometimes they're actually quite naive and inexperienced because maybe they've been with their high school sweetheart that whole time. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 If I were with a guy who had a LOT of different partners and ONS’s, it would bother me a great deal and I wouldn’t stay with him. It’s one thing to have some experience, quite another to not be selective and somewhat introspective about who they land in bed with. Totally. Who wants to be with a dirt bag? Just filthy. The thread is wrong in its assumption. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 That being said women aren't usually bothered by it because if a man has had a lot of partners it usually means he is desirable to women which is a huge plus to other women. Women tend to have this need for their men to be approved by other women that men on an average tend not to have. I think women could spare themselves a lot of heartbreak if they viewed men who play around in a negative way but that is another thread. I am totally bothered by it. That's one major reason I turned off by men. I don't need others' approval. I know what I like almost instantly. Those men are just easy and dirty. That's all. and STD prone...yuk... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 It may be more accurate to say that a certain population will find taken men and/or men who have been promiscuous more attractive. In my career, I have found this to be an anomaly that is based in attention seeking behavior for both women and men. Essentially, women who are promiscuous tend to seek men who are also promiscuous and reverse. I don't know a woman in my personal life who would want to date a man that has been with lot's of women. STD's Pregnancy risk Shallow...whoever is there... beyond turnoff for any women I have met, I'm a woman. This must be a subculture. The women I know, including myself, don't take a man with a high count seriously, or bed them. This. Thank goodness. I am not abnormal after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Any young man that wants sex before marriage to accept that women want it to. Though best for women to not talk about past to prevent retroactive jealousy. Though if asked how many partners, they both need to be honest. A woman having sex 100 times with one partner verses a woman that 100 ONS, even though it was the same amount of sex it is not the same. Most men do not want to marry the woman that only had sex with half of the high school because she was not bi. In this situation. The thing that men don't like is that the woman that has 100 ONS has the skill set to get laid anytime she wants. Why settle with him. I think that the average guy has a problem getting with woman. So thats the reason why most guys would shy away from a woman that has had a 100 partners. Also. Why would she tell him that anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 i don't know why some women are less interested or affected by a mans sexual count history....i just know personally i would be more concerned on his faithfulness in a relationship and i wouldnt ask how many women he has been with.....i dont need to know that.....i just need to know that he takes commitment seriously...hwo he feels about fidelity in a relationship and if he often cheated......his past is gone....its a future i would be concerned with....a history of infidelity is different ... i am the last one to judge a body count..so i dont ...i cant give a number....so why should my guy have to .....i dotn need to know.....and neither does he need to know mine..it would only intimidate or disgust him or in between intimidated and disgusted..i would be honest about why my count is an unknown number......its not who i am now and the guy would have to know me to understand that.........and there were circumstances involved with my high count or non count....... i am forgiving in this respect about past sexual history from none to whatever ...doesnt need to be said...i dont care........ some women however....do care......and thats their right too......as it is a mans right too..although...i would not be the woman for any man if it mattered how many i have been with...i dotn know how many women do care or dotn care ....or how many men care or dont i know the men i have been in relationships with...dont care to ask the number they know why they didnt want to ask... and they knew they could trust me............deb Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 (edited) Most women dont care about the number of the women you have had - until they meet one of them. Edited March 13, 2018 by dichotomy 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 I think women do care how many sex partners a man has had. There are so many diseases out there that any partner with a high number these days sounds gross. Who wants a worn out, used up partner. Considering men reach their sexual prime at 17 a high number certainly doesn't sound very attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Females just throw out guys with too few partners Women, in general, are very forgiving...perhaps to a fault. If a Woman throws a man out, it's typically because the guy is an ass. I think most men and women are on the same page as far as sexual history. There are always outliers/extenuating circumstance; for the the majority of every day Jane and Joe's, having sex with a lot of people is a 'red flag,' lol. It means to a majority that something deep down is damaged. Men are not immune from this innate judgement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 In this situation. The thing that men don't like is that the woman that has 100 ONS has the skill set to get laid anytime she wants. Why settle with him. I think that the average guy has a problem getting with woman. So thats the reason why most guys would shy away from a woman that has had a 100 partners. Also. Why would she tell him that anyways. You confuse with the ease that a woman can get laid a lot with getting laid a lot. Because a woman can does not mean she does. As to why settle with Mr 101. It is not settling. It is her not needing to F Mr 102. She found her ONE. Men shy away from the woman that had the 100 men because of the social stigma. The stereotype of being easy. And all the baggage that comes with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 (edited) Women, in general, are very forgiving...perhaps to a fault. If a Woman throws a man out, it's typically because the guy is an ass. I think most men and women are on the same page as far as sexual history. There are always outliers/extenuating circumstance; for the the majority of every day Jane and Joe's, having sex with a lot of people is a 'red flag,' lol. It means to a majority that something deep down is damaged. Men are not immune from this innate judgement. Well, I can see the guys who struggle w dating, emotionally reacting to the bolded statement. The guys who cannot inspire that certain feeling--and many of these guys are in fact NOT asses--keep on experiencing the opposite. Women just don't stick around for these guys much beyond the first date. So I think what you wrote is really "Women, in general, are very forgiving...perhaps to a fault, when they feel chemistry." A guy can have many faults. If he cannot satisfy a woman physically though, it's going to be very difficult for him to keep her around. To get back to the original topic about sexual history, I do tend to agree with the rest of your post. As a guy I really don't need to hear details of someone's sexual history. I am a bit older, so women in my dating pool are at least in their 30s. I would not be fazed by a woman who was promiscuous say over a decade ago. I've had a few ONS myself. Promiscuous right before we met? I think I'd have a problem. Infidelity in any of her relationships? Probably a deal-breaker. BUT I would also not like to be dating someone with very little or no experience. I'd be concerned that she may feel very differently about sex than I do, and if we sleep together and it doesn't work out, for one thing. Edited March 13, 2018 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 (edited) Well, I can see the guys who struggle w dating, emotionally reacting to the bolded statement. The guys who cannot inspire that certain feeling--and many of these guys are in fact NOT asses--keep on experiencing the opposite. Women just don't stick around for these guys much beyond the first date. So I think what you wrote is really "Women, in general, are very forgiving...perhaps to a fault, when they feel chemistry." A guy can have many faults. If he cannot satisfy a woman physically though, it's going to be very difficult for him to keep her around. To get back to the original topic about sexual history, I do tend to agree with the rest of your post. As a guy I really don't need to hear details of someone's sexual history. I am a bit older, so women in my dating pool are at least in their 30s. I would not be fazed by a woman who was promiscuous say over a decade ago. I've had a few ONS myself. Promiscuous right before we met? I think I'd have a problem. Infidelity in any of her relationships? Probably a deal-breaker. BUT I would also not like to be dating someone with very little or no experience. I'd be concerned that she may feel very differently about sex than I do, and if we sleep together and it doesn't work out, for one thing. I will agree that when a woman or man have an attraction, either of them can be too forgiving. That isn't a gender thing, is it? As far as a man needing much sexual experience to be attractive to a woman, I will only speak for myself. The number of people or the amount of experience, even from one ltr, have never been relevant. Hypothetical I am in a relationship with this person...it's this person that I am responding to and vise versa. We learn each other and become each other's best lover. I haven't been with a man who has had many lovers (yes, I'm sure )...I haven't had many lovers, still on one hand. Despite inexperience, we figured out 'us,' what works for us...ya know. I don't think that I am uncommon, I think that I am typical and the men I have been with are typical as far as sexual experience goes. The converse is true also, I'm sure. A relationship is just that, between two (for some more) people and that is all that matters. So, I agree notajerk, certainly men are not necessarily more attractive because they have been around the block three dozen times. A woman would be attracted to a man they love or want and within that, his expertise is secondary. I've only been in relationships with guys who have few sexual experiences. I know that I would not be attracted to them if this wasn't true. Edited March 13, 2018 by Timshel 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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