OLD picker by an old guy

[nospam99]

Bored this morning and, living in the North-East US, waiting to be snowed in.

 

So 'inspired' to post about my favorite LS theme, OnLine Dating. The context is I'm a 'senior' male, in 'it' looking for an LTR, and seem to be one of the 'happier campers' on LS with respect to my attitude about OLD. That said, my thoughts about what to look for in a woman to contact ...

 

1) Looks: the elephant in the room. Have to get this out of the way first. Sorry, ladies, looks count as a filter. That said, I'll observe that half of the profiles of women appearing in the first ten of my ordered match list on POF easily pass my looks filter. (This proportion is similar on match.com, not so good on OKC, 'to the East I do not go' - couldn't resist the LotR nosequitor - yes, I AM a sick puppy - too much Marx brothers and Monty Python in my misbegotten youth) Self-fulfilling prophecy? Hard to say since POF doesn't explicitly ask about appearance preferences. But I do restrict my body preferences to 'thin', 'athletic', and 'average'. Most OLD women (and me for that matter) describe their bodies as average. Do OLD profile photos lie? I've met six women from OLD in person. Three were spot on with their posted photos. The other three were close enough (a little more 'seasoned' by the years) that it didn't matter.

 

2) Personality: I look at the photos AND I read the profiles. The more the lady writes, the better 'read' I get. I look for compatible values, realism, and sincerity. Bonus points for a cynical sense of humor. Sixty y/o 'party grrlz (sic)' need not apply.

 

3) Interests: I want to do fun things on dates while I try to get to know my new 'friend'. All the while incidental conversation (which also happens non-incidentally in quiet, together alone moments) gives us the opportunity to learn more about each other. Common interests in what kind of fun things we want to do (mostly moderately active/outdoorsy stuff) counts.

 

4) Availability: How active is the lady on the OLD site? Looking every day? Great - she's more likely to see a message I send to her. Re-appears for a day or two every 6 to 8 weeks? Nah - she's either up to her elbows in other guys or bummed out by the whole OLD thing. Also a non-response to a message from me is usually a deal-breaker q.v. Interest in me immediately following.

 

5) Interest in me: If a lady contacts me first AND she 'passes' 1, 2, and 3 above, she automatically passes 4, gets a response from me immediately, and moves to the head of my list.

[d0nnivain]

<Waves>

 

I have nothing to add other than enjoy the snow. I'm stuck too.

 

I am glad that your adventures into OLD haven't jaded you.

 

I have always said you can't date somebody who you don't find attractive. Once you get that click / spark then you make sure there is depth behind the pretty face.

 

Happy hunting.

[Agonistes]

#4 Availability is more key in OLD than people realize. I read somewhere never to send a message unless she shows as "online now". The advice seemed to work for me.

 

Good luck!

[nospam99]

<Waves>

 

I have nothing to add other than enjoy the snow. I'm stuck too.

 

I am glad that your adventures into OLD haven't jaded you.

 

I have always said you can't date somebody who you don't find attractive. Once you get that click / spark then you make sure there is depth behind the pretty face.

 

Happy hunting.

 

<Waves back>

 

Still a bit 'sad' rather than jaded. As you saw in another thread, 'the big one got away'.

 

I had no electricity for 48 hours starting 5pm Friday. With the forecast (currently 14'' and up), if that happens again I will be truly and totally f---ed, and NOT in the 'good' way.

[d0nnivain]

We only lost power intermittently with the last storm for no more than 20 minutes at a time. We're expecting 12-18 inches. I bought a generator yesterday. House has been wired for it for sometime I just never actually bought it.

 

Stay safe.

[nospam99]

We only lost power intermittently with the last storm for no more than 20 minutes at a time. We're expecting 12-18 inches. I bought a generator yesterday. House has been wired for it for sometime I just never actually bought it.

 

Stay safe.

 

Propane? Kerosene? Gasoline? I shouldn't need to tell you, vent the exhaust and watch the carbon monoxide levels (a CO detector is VERY wise).

[d0nnivain]

Gas powered & yes we have a CO2 monitor. It saved my life a few years ago. I'm a BIG fan.

[carhill]

If the house is wired for a genset there's a transfer switch in the garage by the main panel so it should be fine even if they didn't put in an exhaust flue for the genset.

 

On the OLD thing, what I've found a bit odd at my age with images is there's no rhyme nor reason.

 

1. This was reinforced recently when I happened across this picture which reminded me of my first girlfriend and how much I enjoyed kissing her but being a dope when it comes to celebs I didn't realize I'd seen that person dozens of times and never really gave her a second glance, just a typical glammed up celebrity.

 

I noted the same thing on OLD, even back in the early days. The image thing had no rules. What I should have seen as attractive, I thought, nah nothing and then an odd image would suddenly strike me. Perhaps that underscores the individual differences between beauty and attractiveness and I somehow missed the male message that beauty is supposed to be attractive, IDK.

 

2. First girlfriend that resulted from OLD didn't even have a picture in her profile just writing and it was that writing which prompted me to contact her. After a bit of back and forth I convinced her to scan (digital cameras were very new and expensive back then) a photo and e-mail it. That photo is still in my LS albums here. Small, grainy, nothing glamorous. In real life the photo didn't do her justice at all (I was shocked when she met me at the train station) and her personality was what made her a real beauty.

 

3. I looked for compatible interests, not necessarily shared interests. Also, I looked for diverse interests so as to have a passionate guide for exploring other parts of life. This mesh of interests probably tipped the scale in favor of the lady who later became my wife. Even though the marriage didn't work out, she and I both shared that we fit together real well and probably still do. Shared interests was, all else being equal, her impetus for contacting me, she shared.

 

4. Things were pretty rudimentary on OLD back then so availability was kind of hit and miss. TBH, I was more concerned that they were not married.

 

5. I never really expected women to be interested in me nor contact me, based on many years of real life interactions. A few did, sure, and my future wife was among them but I didn't put any real emphasis on that. How we fit together in real life was more a priority.

 

OLD expired for me after I got divorced. Contacted and dated a couple of women while divorcing, lost interest in the whole process and haven't looked back. It does great for scores of people and opened up a new world for me long ago. It has its place.