GF came back, then I snooped and everything's resurfaced.

[lolablue17]

This is very confusing.

 

She says you were broken up while she was on the trip and it's none of your business whom she sees, but then swears she hasn't slept with anyone while you were broken up. These are contradictory arguments. Because if she claims she didn't do anything and wants you back, why hurting you with the "It's none of your business" attitude?

 

The second confusing thing is this shady "relationship" with this guy. Why will a guy put pics of them together in social media, to create an improssion that they are together? Only a really mentally ill guy, or a criminal stalker would do that... definitely not a friend. So why does she call him "a friend"?

 

Anyway... Nothing has changed since you took her back. Only in your head. If you believed back then that he was just a friend, what has changed? The cards says the same story you knew before... And why do you care about this short guy? Maybe she was lonely while traveling and slept with other guys for comfortation... You were not together, and you were dating too...

[Been]

Here is my take on the situation.

She went on a trip and he was suspicious of it so they broke up.

She then hooked up with the very man he was having doubts about but it didn't work out. She came running back and he took her back but wanted to know the truth about the other man.

She told him nothing ever happened but in the back of his mind something occurred.

He ends up finding evidence that supported his original claim that something was going on between them when he had original sensed it.

Now here's the problem. Even if they slept together when she wasn't with him it confirms that he was indeed right about his original fear- that something more was going on.

I think at the end of the day you just can't trust her due to her lying.

[ItsJustMyOpinion]

Keep her as a fwb as you look to date other women.

 

If you can't handle your feelings or keep them at bay, then let her go. Don't let her think she can do what she wants and still get to keep you.

[BarbedFenceRider]

And as I said it in the other thread...Your "girl" be monkey branching!

She even sent you pics of the "bed" and spooning crap!

 

So...Now she got the NC and she wants you back under her thumb. I told you, no way. You needed NC and then what do you do...You take her back.

 

DO NOT TALK MARRIAGE. Period. She is too young and has crap for boundaries. The last few months have been good and that is swell. But She will ALWAYS be on the prowl for a "better gig" and more spooning beds...Sorry, but it's true.

 

Now don't be a jerk and confront her. You already know what you know. Just keep her in GF status and enjoy snuggles and horizontal hula while you get it...Who knows, maybe when she matures in a few years, she may be the real deal.

 

BUT>>>>>NO MARRIAGE with this one. It will be the downfall of you. Guaranteed

[Yomachi]

Personally? It sounds like the guy is an orbiter, made a move, and was rejected and now is hoping that their "relationship" isn't affected (orbiters cannot bear to call it "friendship", so they call it a "relationship" instead, as in an interpersonal relationship, not the intimate romantic kind).

 

Quite frankly, it sounds like you're a tad controlling for her taste, and that she fears that knowing the orbiter made a move will only stoke those controlling tendencies and will prevent her from going on those group trips because the orbiter happens to be there.

 

I know I'd be annoyed if my GF prevented me from seeing my friends simply because there was one who was interested in me. If I wanted to cheat, I didn't need to wait for a holiday with a group of people to do so.

[TwinFlameGone]

Personally? It sounds like the guy is an orbiter, made a move, and was rejected and now is hoping that their "relationship" isn't affected (orbiters cannot bear to call it "friendship", so they call it a "relationship" instead, as in an interpersonal relationship, not the intimate romantic kind).

 

Quite frankly, it sounds like you're a tad controlling for her taste, and that she fears that knowing the orbiter made a move will only stoke those controlling tendencies and will prevent her from going on those group trips because the orbiter happens to be there.

 

I know I'd be annoyed if my GF prevented me from seeing my friends simply because there was one who was interested in me. If I wanted to cheat, I didn't need to wait for a holiday with a group of people to do so.

 

Possibly true. I left things off as better to not know. The guy was a senior person in her grad class and is very active professionally. I accused her of sleeping with him and she replied in disgust - asking me if I knew what he looked like to indicate it wasn’t a possibility she’d sleep with him. I’m left with “who knows” ???

[TwinFlameGone]

After the whole travel drama I posted about. I ended things, told her to move out when she gets back from her “trip”. About 1.5 month of NC and not hearing much see finally packs her things.

 

At this point, I had been dating and was over it. In the time that we’ve been apart I got a new job and started learning to live alone. Her moving her stuff out was a blow and some things resurfaced. When around each other she’ll do things like ask me for a hug, mention love, etc. I don’t press much about the past but she does reach out to me to hang out on occasion.

 

Our chemistry is still there but I’m not pursuing anything with her. She’s also started her career which was one of the things she wanted more than a relationship. In my mind, I’ve dated and still haven’t found someone that makes me feel as at ease when we’re together. I can tell she thought some of the same things... I’m not drooling all over her or begging her to come back. I’m at a stage where I’m fine without her. Especially, if it’s the same stuff all over again.

 

I’m still dating, though my ex and I aren’t romantic. I’m not holding out for her, but I’m waiting on someone special and also building my own social life..

 

My question is why is she still hovering? Does my availability to still hang out with damaging to myself??? Or are we both playing an endless game. She’s flirty with me and shows jealousy; but I don’t think it’s friend-zone or she’s playing me. I think she honestly enjoys hanging with me.. thoughts?

[DrReplyInRhymes]

After the whole travel drama I posted about. I ended things, told her to move out when she gets back from her “trip”. About 1.5 month of NC and not hearing much see finally packs her things.

 

At this point, I had been dating and was over it. In the time that we’ve been apart I got a new job and started learning to live alone. Her moving her stuff out was a blow and some things resurfaced. When around each other she’ll do things like ask me for a hug, mention love, etc. I don’t press much about the past but she does reach out to me to hang out on occasion.

 

Our chemistry is still there but I’m not pursuing anything with her. She’s also started her career which was one of the things she wanted more than a relationship. In my mind, I’ve dated and still haven’t found someone that makes me feel as at ease when we’re together. I can tell she thought some of the same things... I’m not drooling all over her or begging her to come back. I’m at a stage where I’m fine without her. Especially, if it’s the same stuff all over again.

 

I’m still dating, though my ex and I aren’t romantic. I’m not holding out for her, but I’m waiting on someone special and also building my own social life..

 

My question is why is she still hovering? Does my availability to still hang out with damaging to myself??? Or are we both playing an endless game. She’s flirty with me and shows jealousy; but I don’t think it’s friend-zone or she’s playing me. I think she honestly enjoys hanging with me.. thoughts?

 

You've both downgraded each other to friends, possibly with benefits too,

Be careful because it's easy to re-ignite those feelings and have it come unglued,

Continue to date and continue to improve yourself, your life, and your career,

For this relationship is not something I think you'll find is in arrears.