Sundra1 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) So, I've been posting about someone I had dated for a little over a year, and it has been about a year since we split up. Long-story short, the relationship never had a chance. She was off the tails of a previous year long relationship (weeks), and then we met. We had a good time, but there were flags all along (I should have noticed, 100% on me). A couple months in, I was hesitant so I directly asked her if she was ready for this. I wanted to know before I started investing. She said she was, and she was sure of it. Months later, we get closer, meet each others families, hang out with the same friends etc... At about 7 or 8 months she starts getting really mean, and we have a couple of conversations about the relationship. At about the 8 or 9 month marker we start having break-up conversations. This goes on for about 3 months more (we are living together, so it gets tough), some of these moments are great, we reconcile and we get closer than ever, and some are just fights and arguing. Over the course of that, she does mention that she told me she wanted a relationship because she was afraid of losing me otherwise. She was really trying to as have both things at once, "sell the cow, and drink the milk" which she acknowledged. Anyway, over the course of this process I did my best to maintain composure, and I think I did with the exception of a few bigger flare-ups which I can largely count on one hand. Eventually she said she wanted to break-up, which I did not want but I told her I would respect her decision. However, toward the tail end she started being pretty disrespectful and I put my foot down. At the end of it all, I moved all of my stuff out as soon as the first of the month rolled around and told her that, I thought it was best if we kept our distance, because I felt that is what is best in these situations. I also communicated that there was no blame on either party, I just needed to go my own way as she had chosen to go hers. I told her that I would proceeded to unfriend, and delete social media in order to take space. What I did not tell her before I left was that I was also deleting her number and pretty much any way of communicating with her. I never heard from her after that. At this point it is as if our relationship never existed. I never said an unkind word, I was just really proactive about moving forward (which I think upset her). I acknowledge one of my biggest errors was trying too hard to make it work. But I think in the end I came through with a pretty graceful, honest, and respectful parting of ways. Anyway, the stupid me I wander to her Facebook page a month ago and I see that I am blocked. Don't know why that happened, but it's her choice. I am a little surprised given that she was the one that she was the one who broke-up with me, and I respected that. Not that I am looking for reconciliation now, but this little situation is making me feel like I did something wrong, when all of the evidence contradicts that. I gave her what she wanted. Does it seem like I did anything wrong here? Wonder if we will ever reconcile years down the line, clearly it is not happening anytime soon. I really loved this person, but it became too unhealthy and unfair of a relationship. Edited March 8, 2018 by Sundra1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mac0908 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Hey man, you sound like a good guy and that you really didn't want to walk away from this relationship but had to. I think a lot of us have been there. Lord knows I was years ago. While I don't know ALL the details and just how bad things got, the bottom line is this sounded like a more mutual kind of breakup. She blocked you on Facebook out of spite bc you were stern on how you wanted her completely out of her life after the breakup. Girls are emotional like that. They will try and get the last word. Trust me, I've been there. If you are looking for some sort of reconciliation I don't think you're going to get it from this one. And let’s not be naive, you wouldn’t be posting a huge long thing if that wasn’t in your head in at least some way. That being said... Sounds like you would have to be the one to reach back out, but truth be told, if you dated for almost a year and things blew up, I highly, highly doubt anything would work out between you two. When I walked away from a 2 year relationship I did it with peace of mind bc I knew in the last 6 months I/we did everything possible to try and make it work and just couldn't. Sounds like you were in a similar situation. Maybe you're lonely right now and that's why she's in your head and that's why you're checking her social media. I suggest doing anything you can to get out there and date new women, bc what you're looking for with this ex probably isn't going to happen imo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sundra1 Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 If you are looking for some sort of reconciliation I don't think you're going to get it from this one. And let’s not be naive, you wouldn’t be posting a huge long thing if that wasn’t in your head in at least some way. That being said... Sounds like you would have to be the one to reach back out, but truth be told, if you dated for almost a year and things blew up, I highly, highly doubt anything would work out between you two. Yeah, you're right. I feel like it won't mend. I would have to probably be the one to reach out, and I exhausted the amount of effort I would be willing to do that. I have dated, and moved on somewhat but this one still pops up every now and then. We were so close, and it didn't have to go this way, but it did. Link to post Share on other sites
Mac0908 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Why is it that you’re stressing about this an entire YEAR after it ended? Why now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sundra1 Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 Largely because that little thing happened recently, and I am still in the acceptance phase. We spent a lot of time together and after things ended, I shut the world out and focused on myself. I blocked these things out, so now I am dealing with them in little bits. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxy Knoxy Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 She blocked you to prevent herself from getting curious and looking on YOUR Facebook. You can't view the pages of people you've blocked. It's NC. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 If she couldn't see your stuff, she didn't want you looking at hers. Totally logical. Why should you get to spy on her if she can't spy on you? It's really best all around. Makes you both move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sundra1 Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 If she couldn't see your stuff, she didn't want you looking at hers. Totally logical. Why should you get to spy on her if she can't spy on you? It's really best all around. Makes you both move on. We aren't friends, nobody could really "spy" per-se before she did that. So I don't understand why now. Hence the reason my questions was more about reconciliation and other things, not so much about this one part of it. Link to post Share on other sites
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