misunderstanding?

[angel eyes]

I was walking around my house neighborhood last night with my boyfriend and we end up in a not so good looking area in terms of safetiness, well on top of that there was this dog that got out of this house chasing us and barking which made me feel very uncomfortable i mentioned that i didn't like this place or its people so later that night my boyfriend started telling me about how his dad likes to put people down because they are poor or how his brother that goes to a private college likes to hang out with upper class people only, then he mentioned what i said on how i didn't like those people i told him that he was indirectly telling me that i was like his dad but what i meant is that i didn't like those people who use drugs,gangs, violence not because they are poor. He said he understands that and that he didn't mean that but he was thinking about us graduating college and finding a place to live and what we are going to earn the first year will not be enough to afford a nice home, and that maybe we end up living in a place like that but for him safetiness is important. He held my hand as we were driving home and told me that he loves me and we are going to end up together. do you think he is ok with my comment i didn't have time to tell him that i don't want misunderstandings between us.

[Tony T]

What you describe is just pretty normal conversation. I don't blame him for having you clarify things. His question was very legitimate. No guy wants to feel pressured to provide luxurious surroundings for someone until he can afford it.

 

Your answer to him was very good. The problem the two of you will have will be finding an area of town you can afford a home in that doesn't have violence, drugs, gangs, shootings, etc.

 

I suggest you rent in a nice area until you can save for the down payment on a home in a decent area.

 

Both of you were perfectly right to express yourselves in this exchange and hope it happens more often on other issues as well. That's how two people get to know each other better.

 

You know, it's bad enough being poor without having to live around all that drug and violence crap. Maybe one day you can help do something about it in your city.