yogatree Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 I think I messed up. My bf and I have been together for 2 years now. We have been living together since November of 2004. We have been talking about geting engaged and back in March he said something along the lines of "I think August would be a good time since we will be together for 2 years." We had planned to go away together for a week surrounding our "anniversary." I changed jobs after a lot of discussion together about taking a pay cut. I have a 3 year old from a previous marriage and I have been trying to find a job that would allow me to spend more time at home with him. When I found one, it was like opening my own business. Long story short, I am having a slow start finding clients and I make way less than I did before. Like 1 percent of what I was making before. We discussed that this would probably happen, but eventually I have the potential of making a ton of money. Anyway, we ended up making the trip shorter, over a weekend, and I assumed he would propose. The whole weekend went by and now the rest of the month and no mention of getting engaged. I asked him if it was because I changed jobs ad he said yes. I asked if it was because he was afriad of not being able to afford a wedding or if he didn't want to be with me. He said it is an 80/20 split. So there is 20 percent of him that doesn't want to be with me any more. I wonder if this 20 percent will grow and he just doesn't think I am the one, and used my financial situation as a excuse not to propose, or if I really messed up by taking such a pay cut. What does everyone think? (Sorry for the book!) Link to post Share on other sites
weekell75 Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 I think maybe he didn't understand your question. It took me a second take to realise what the 80/20 split actually meant....maybe if you pose the question to him again, but in a more simplified fashion. I think maybe the split he has in mind is the 'not being able to afford a wedding' is 80, and the'change of job' could be the 20, or the other way round. Just a suggestion... Link to post Share on other sites
seachange Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 Reading that, I also wondered if maybe it's a pay split? Like, now he's covering 80% of expenses compared to the 20% you can now afford to cover? I think you should ask him to clarify too. Because if it is that he's saying he's 20% not sure...then that's kind of crappy, IMHO. I don't think your job should have any bearing on whether he wants to be with you or not, so I definitely wouldn't say you messed up. It's not like you sprang it on him, there was a lot of discussion about it beforehand. Link to post Share on other sites
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