Ladies, Would You Date a 39-Year-Old Physics Grad Student?

[thefooloftheyear]

no - you do not.

 

broke & unsuccessful do not mean LAZY - your aunt was not lazy, she was unsuccessful. in order to get a PhD degree, you have to be a GOOD student and have good grades. in order to have good grades, you have to work hard & you have to study. so claiming that people with multiple degrees and PhDs are lazy is an oxymoron.

I guess you have intimate knowledge of every person with a higher education that has ever lived, and what their motives are? Forgive me...

 

you don't seem to value anything other than MONEY, money and some more money - if a person isn't making money or is making little - to you, that's lazy. and that's understandable for someone who does not have a higher education & therefeore, cannot appreciate it or understand the amount of actual work a student puts in.

Hardly....I value my family and many other aspects of my life far higher than money,,,,Money to me is a necessary tool...Nothing more..Wait, I don't have a higher education now?? Hmmm...Your intuitive knowledge is epic...:laugh:

 

 

i am almost afraid to ask you what you consider a HIGH QUALITY woman. it is incredibly rude to imply that the OP will be rejected by "high quality woman" and if there is a woman who will want to date him - she must not be a quality one at all. your views are.... umm, interesting.

 

A high quality woman in that age range, (in my view) is attractive, educated, accomplished, great body, etc, with lots of options...You know, the kind of women high quality accomplished guys generally attract...

 

yes - i assume it is a great feeling, a great relief when you can "tell the working world to eff off" after spending 30 years at a job you hate - i hope i never get to experience it!

No BS,..Other than a small stint as an instructor at a college, I've never had a real job:laugh:...Self made millionaire entrepreneur/investor by the age of 30, and didn't get a free car, house, or money to cover my education, like some others did...But sure is nice doing whatever the eff I want to and not answer to anyone(other than customers)....ever....I work a lot, but only on my terms...Its glorious..

 

 

 

instead of giving him dating advices - people on here are giving him business advices and want to discuss his business plan and job offers - that's not the topic.

 

PS....Lighten up...There is no need to get defensive..sheesh...

 

The topic was "would you date a 39 year old Physics grad student"...I don't know any women that would see that as something they want at that stage....That doesn't mean they are greedy, gold digging b!tches, it just means they don't want a guy that is "just getting started" at 40+...Go back and look at all the women posters who feel exactly as I do...

 

If you and a few other women think its just super duper, then go find one or message this guy...I am sure there are others like you guys so I don't see why he'd bother asking??

 

TFY

Edited March 19, 2018 by thefooloftheyear

[minimariah]

The topic was "would you date a 39 year old Physics grad student"...I don't know any women that would see that as something they want at that stage....That doesn't mean they are greedy, gold digging b!tches, it just means they don't want a guy that is "just getting started" at 40+...Go back and look at all the women posters who feel exactly as I do...

 

OBVIOUSLY - there will be women who will reject the OP - some will reject him for a late start in life, some because he doesn't have money, some because he doesn't have work experience they think is relevant and some because they don't like the color of his hair! another poster made an excellent comment and summed it all up:

 

But, and I may sound like a broken record, his degree or income may not be the deciding factor at all. All the stuff that the OP didn't mention may be of far higher importance.

 

the problem i have with your posts is that you brand women who MIGHT be interested in the OP as "NOT high quality" - while you defend those who want a wealthy partner, you bash those who aren't interested in someone making big bucks.

 

If you and a few other women think its just super duper, then go find one or message this guy...

 

i'm married.

 

however - if i had to choose between the OP & you - i would definitely choose the OP & i'm sure about 90% of other women from this thread would, too. money can't buy you class, sorry!

 

Self made millionaire entrepreneur/investor by the age of 30...

 

hello, it's me - Beyoncé.

Edited March 19, 2018 by minimariah

[minimariah]

That's exactly where the heart of the matter is. If you can't value what someone is doing other than in monetary terms, whatever it is, that's a big incompatibility.

 

absolutely! i cannot imagine staying in a relationship where my work is constantly being labeled as useless and lazy. where - if i don't have a "nice body" - i'm considered low quality. such a Trumpesque view of life.

[thefooloftheyear]

OBVIOUSLY - there will be women who will reject the OP - some will reject him for a late start in life, some because he doesn't have money, some because he doesn't have work experience they think is relevant and some because they don't like the color of his hair! another poster made an excellent comment and summed it all up:

 

 

 

the problem i have with your posts is that you brand women who MIGHT be interested in the OP as "NOT high quality" - while you defend those who want a wealthy partner, you bash those who aren't interested in someone making big bucks.

 

 

 

i'm married.

 

however - if i had to choose between the OP & you - i would definitely choose the OP & i'm sure about 90% of other women from this thread would, too. money can't buy you class, sorry!

 

 

 

hello, it's me - Beyoncé.

 

I'm crushed....:laugh:

 

 

I guess they didn't teach basic reading comprehension in your country ...If someone gives an opinion on what their life experience taught them, it doesn't mean they are "bashing" others...That's the garbage reasoning my kid used to use when she was 12 years old...If I said a girl on her team was a good basketball player, she thought I was saying she sucked...She's since grown out of it...at 14....

 

Here, ill show you....

 

I like black automobiles...I think they are high quality...You like white one's ...That doesn't mean I am bashing white cars...See...Look how easy it is!!

 

It's the type of reaction one might expect from an adult with very low self esteem..IN MY OPINION...

 

 

TFY

Edited March 19, 2018 by thefooloftheyear

[littleblackheart]

The topic was "would you date a 39 year old Physics grad student"...I don't know any women that would see that as something they want at that stage....That doesn't mean they are greedy, gold digging b!tches, it just means they don't want a guy that is "just getting started" at 40+...Go back and look at all the women posters who feel exactly as I do

 

I can't speak for minimariah but what I've found totally unhelpful isn't your opinion (which is fine) but the condescension and idle assumptions about what a PhD is that are very strongly coming from your posts, from the aunt living in squalor that you mercifully looked after despite her 2 PhDs, your demeaning yet oddly well-received remarks on women with PhDs (hopefully you'll want more for your daughter than bird cage cleaning duties) to plain ignorant obervations about what the PhD process is .

 

It's difficult to figure out why you're so invested in this thread - you're not a mature PhD student nor are you a woman (unless there is something you're not telling us), but women are allowed to be attracted to men who are not like you - that's not a crime.

[minimariah]

I guess they didn't teach basic reading comprehension in your country ...

 

they did - VERY WELL - and that's exactly why you cannot sell me the typical "oh... that is NOT what i meant! you got it all wrong!" bull.

 

having an opinion is just fine - presenting your opinion as facts while subtly trying to humiliate others who think differently is a problem.

 

your reasoning looks something like this - well... if he is so super duper, then YOU DATE HIM!!! that's the way Donald Trump resonates - no, that is not a compliment.

 

it is also hilarious how you keep mentioning my "free rides" - implying that i never had to work hard in life - even though you never had a real job yourself & obviously, do not know what a PhD course looks like; you didn't even know basics, yet you felt invited to comment on how useless it is.

 

i think it's time we get back on topic now - don't you?

[thefooloftheyear]

I can't speak for minimariah but what I've found totally unhelpful isn't your opinion (which is fine) but the condescension and idle assumptions about what a PhD is that are very strongly coming from your posts, from the aunt living in squalor that you mercifully looked after despite her 2 PhDs, your demeaning yet oddly well-received remarks on women with PhDs (hopefully you'll want more for your daughter than bird cage cleaning duties) to plain ignorant obervations about what the PhD process is .

 

It's difficult to figure out why you're so invested in this thread - you're not a mature PhD student nor are you a woman (unless there is something you're not telling us), but women are allowed to be attracted to men who are not like you - that's not a crime.

 

 

I am just killing time while on hold with vendors, etc...Nothing more really...

 

And I didn't recall ever demeaning anyone for getting a PhD.,..I think on more than one occasion, I mentioned that it was commendable, and worthy of note...

 

I think you are suffering the same type of convoluted thinking that other poster is , that if someone's opinion of the path you are taking or the opinion you have is negative in that person's view, then somehow it's rude or condescending...Or it means that I am stating an absolute of all people/women...

 

If it's my observation, then that's all it is...Nothing more...I think both of you are really hung up on the fact that I said, in my opinion, that higher quality women don't want guys like this...All that means is that all the higher quality women I know wouldn't be a buyer...That doesn't imply you and/or her are low quality....That's ridiculous!!

 

I've known quite a few people, but I would never say I know all....That would be just stupendously ignorant/dumb.....

 

Its nuts, really...Be happy with your life choices and don't worry or get upset over it....Life is too short...

 

TFY

Edited March 19, 2018 by thefooloftheyear

[minimariah]

TFY

 

you weren't the only one who gave a negative opinion to the OP - the fact that you're the only one with a rude and condescending tone and the fact that more than one person picked it up - shows that there is probably some truth to it.

[littleblackheart]

I am just killing time while on hold with vendors, etc...Nothing more really...

 

And I didn't recall ever demeaning anyone for getting a PhD.,..I think on more than one occasion, I mentioned that it was commendable, and worthy of note...

 

I think you are suffering the same type of convoluted thinking that other poster is , that if someone's opinion of the path you are taking or the opinion you have is negative, then somehow it's rude or condescending...Or it means that I am stating an absolute of all people/women...

 

If it's my observation, then that's all it is...Nothing more...

 

Its nuts, really...Be happy with your life choices and don't worry or get upset over it....Life is too short...

 

TFY

 

You miisread me, I'm not upset (this is an anonymous forum after all) - I'm just pointing out that your observation come from neither personal experience or knowledge, and as valuable as your opinion / observations are, they also come across as demeaning and payronising (not all, but enough that someone may feel defensive).

 

You don't like my opinion? Fair enough. Why you feel the need to call it 'suffering from some type of convoluted thinking' is unnecessary, but perhaps that's how a self-made investor/ millionaire expresses himself

[guest569]

I don’t think anyone is saying that PhDs are stoopid. I think it is awesome that OP is working towards his goals and it is very admirable to see people working hard and doing something that interests them (although not relevant to me in the dating world what the guy does as long as it’s honest work). The concern seems to be.. what have you done for the past 20 years? And for me that concern is I want to find an equal, not someone that will frankly set me back financially. If he can tell us that he has been working hard for the last 20 years (yes studying is/ can be hard work, I get it) heck 8 hrs a day as a checkout cashier with some savings will satisfy me. But that isn’t the case. This is going to rule out a lot of women who either need a 50/50 or someone to support them. We can’t be complacent. The divorce rate is high and women are much more likely to live their later years in poverty. It’s not about being lazy, entitled or money obsessed. It’s about trying to have a good and comfortable life. thst doesn’t mean PhD is stoopid and lazy. It doesn’t mean I’m a “reverse snob”.. I have never heard of such a thing.

Edited March 19, 2018 by smiley1

[minimariah]

The concern seems to be.. what have you done for the past 20 years?

 

shouldn't your concern be - what do you plan to do in the NEXT 20 years? if he gets a great job when he is finished with his PhD, starts earning big money... will you ask him THEN about his past 20 years? or it won't matter anymore?

 

And for me that concern is I want to find an equal, not someone that will frankly set me back financially.

 

unless you agree to fully support a man - how will dating someone who isn't your equal set YOU back, financially? obviously, the OP is working and will be able to support himself, even if it's on basic level.

 

...he can tell us that he has been working hard for the last 20 years (yes studying is/ can be hard work, I get it) heck 8 hrs a day as a checkout cashier with some savings will satisfy me. But that isn’t the case.

 

pardon me - but didn't the OP say he already has 2 degrees and a bunch of other interests? so he DID work hard during the last 20 years, at least as a student.

 

It doesn’t mean I’m a “reverse snob”.. I have never heard of such a thing.

 

basically - the way some people with PhDs look down on those who don't have it... some people without PhDs look down on those who do, especially if the person with a PhD isn't very wealthy or successful. i'm sure you've seen it, you just probably didn't have a name for it.

[guest569]

Oh sorry, 2 undergraduate degrees and an incomplete PhD in 20 years is hard work. I’m already earning more than he will upon completion and my career is going fabulously. Why so judgey?

 

He could be a secret billionaire, wouldn’t change my view on the matter.

[CptInsano]

That's exactly where the heart of the matter is. If you can't value what someone is doing other than in monetary terms, whatever it is, that's a big incompatibility. You don't have to understand it, but you don't need to demean it either (general you).

 

It would be interesting to know what the OP plans to do and what part of California he considers to live in. While monetary matters are not always a top priority, living in a hypercompetitive environment that exists in part of that state may just force the issue.

[littleblackheart]

Oh sorry, 2 undergraduate degrees and an incomplete PhD in 20 years is hard work. I’m already earning more than he will upon completion and my career is going fabulously. Why so judgey?

 

He could be a secret billionaire, wouldn’t change my view on the matter.

 

You're happy with your life choices? Excellent!

OP's happy with his life choices? Excellent!

They are not compatible? Totally fine!

Do either have to demean the other or assume stuff based on prejudice or misinformation? No!

 

You find yourself with someone who rates your achievements, OP finds himself with someone who rates his achievements = happy endings all round!

 

 

Having sort of been through what OP's gone through (though I was in full time employement for 15 years before starting my PhD, and did it to improve my and my kids' lives) I can relate and wanted to try and reassure the OP that at least some (not all) will appreciate that he had the good sense to recentre his life around something more realistic and more productive than what he'd been doing previously.