Anonymous Posted May 19, 2001 Share Posted May 19, 2001 I have dated a girl for more than 1 year, and we broke up about 3 months ago, but we still want to give it another chance. THe major problem in our relationship was the fact that we could not have sex after initial period of failure associated with a condom. Ever since then all we could achieve was mutual oral sex at most. I asked her if we could try and have sex using other contraceptives besides condom, because I believed I would have been much easier for me to vercome this obstacle, but she would not allow. So with a condom it was next to impossible to have sex. WIthout it, there could have been numerous successful attempts. SInce I am physicall fine, i know wht generates much anxiety is the tohught of condom. I asked her if we could go ahead and try it, because I was sure that once it happened for the first 4-5 times, then i would gain my confidence back, and would not mind even a condom. Anyway, she just would not do it. SHe claims she loves me and cares for me and does not want to lose me, but she just would not consider it. I know in fact that with her previous partner they did not use a condom, but ironically, when I need the help the most, she just refuses, and I respect her decision. All I want to know is, what kind of help can we, or I can get. Is she wrong that she is not considering helping me out. I want to hear girls opinions too, if their boyfirnds had this sort of problem, how would they go about it. PLEASE HELP THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, and I hope to HER too!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 19, 2001 Share Posted May 19, 2001 First you say she wants to work it out, then you say she doesn't want to help you try to get used tousing condoms. So what is it? My guess is that she fears failure again just like you may. But you need to talk this out. If she doesn't want to use any other type of birth control and she doesn't want to work with you in getting used to a condom, you only have two choices: Stay with her and do without intercourse or go find a female who has more patience or uses other forms of birth control. You really need to get into her head and find out the reason she is resisting this new effort. Just be kind and gentle doing so. Incidentally, condoms are awkward and uncomfortable for a lot of men. Many are just not able to use them...there have been many posts similar to yours on this forum. I would hate to see what could otherwise be a good relationship crumble because of this. On the other hand, if your girl is now just being a bxtch and getting back with you so she can throw this in your fact somemore, get rid of her. You have some talking to do with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts