Starting Victim's Services

[CrazyKatLady]

Super excited! I start new counseling at a women's shelter that is located in my town. I am ready to set aside everything in my life to have time to end the abuse that has occured in my life the last few years.

I will not let my past relationships define who I am any longer. Their abuse is in no way a reflection of the lovely, kind, and caring woman, student, co-worker, friend, and mother that I am and always was. It is time for me to break away from their afflictions and move onto the life I can have. I will remain a good-hearted person. I refuse to let these events shadow my life and my beautiful son's life forever. Has any other woman ever overcome such destructive treatment in their lives? I would enjoy hearing the story.

[PRW]

What you want to do is commendable. I am not a therapist but have had friends that are. But some of the things you are saying are raising eyebrows for me. There is a common but sarcastic phrase, "The people who most need a therapist are the therapist". Don't let that be true about you. What you are about to do is for them, it is not for you. You are there to solve their problem, not solve yours. You problems have to be solved so that you are qualified to guide them in theirs. You can't help people complete something you haven't already successfully completed yourself. You can't be "the victim leading the victims". You can't be the "me too" person. Don't let counseling sessions become "pity parties" that you and them are sharing together. You can't have your clients thinking that you need more help than they do, or thinking "Physician heal thyself". They need to have confidence in you. You have to be the solid rock that they rely on to give them sound advice. Your past abusive experiences have to be seen as teaching moments for you, things that make you stronger and more knowledgeable,...they are not wounds, scars, or any other negative adjective.

[preraph]

So happy to hear you are with Victims Services and it's obviously done you a lot of good. Very happy for you!

[todreaminblue]

i live with destructiveness still.....and my bishop and my church help me deal with what i have to deal with..sometimes though.......i leave church adn thats when things get really bad......we have a thing called womens relief society and they are supportive and the messages shared every week ....help me a great deal...they are my non destructive friends and confidantes....i have always just ran from destructiveness moved many times.....many...too many....and destructiveness finds me.......i feel like the perfect storm waiting to happen..i attract troubled people....as do my girls.....i have had to go on high blood pressure meds due to stress and the ugly things i have to deal with...i hate ugliness in people and i hate illegal drugs that cause it............

 

 

i hate drama and i have always tried to run from it.hide ....move house.......hasnt helped in the past...so the change is for me not to move stay at church.i cannot run anymore........and im standing now..i have been int he same place for th elongest time in my adult life ...i am mean tto eb here with my church ward who it has taken me a logn time to feel i belong....still have times i dont...but i know in my heart i belong with them......i cause issues with certain types of people outside of church because i am honest and they see me as a possible threat......im not changing that...im changing what i will allow....my home im working on changing into a place of peace..........

 

for some people its better to leave......and i will keep praying and being advised by my bishop who gives sage and wise advice that comforts my soul and gives me strength to do what i have to do ..i feel prompted actually to eb involved in my church more...put aside my feelings of inadequacy and step up......to do whats good and right....for every bad ill find a good......and thats how i am going to deal with destructiveness.....im going to fight ..its been a long time coming.......with honesty truth .....and solidarity.....in me..i am not being forced to run..i will not sway.....and however long it takes...im sticking it out.....my family my destructive friends...i know their hearts....so im staying....and i wont give up......and i wont run...if i cant make changes i will find a temporary to stay probably with my mum...and work on the issues externally in my house....i wont run if need be ill get a little distance and I will fight my heart out.....and im buying another rottie....to watch my back..deb......