I terribly miss him

[Zahara]

Although it may be that my worse nightmares are coming true, the truth is that we love each other and were meant to be together in the end. HOW WILL IT PLAY OUT????? THAT is the question !

 

 

Should I post a new threads based on new information that I have or should I post here?

 

Post here. History and continuity helps.

[aminae7]

Post here. History and continuity helps.

 

I am going to start with the story of my husband and how we met and our history.

 

It was March and I had just been offered a new job in my field. It was a gorgeous night and my heart was broken because there was a man named xxxx who I dated from OK Cupid.

 

He was FWB and then he broke my heart by saying no to a relationship. So I picked myself back up and started to meet people again on OK Cupid. It was an online dating site that I had been a member of since 2004 believe it or not but I was not really active on it since 2013 where I met a soldier who had dropped bombs on Iraq. He had been in the navy, the one the misseled the rockets from the ship to IRAQ. He was a bit bi-polar and PTSD for my taste but never the less a great first time OK Cupid date! We dated for 6 months and then he moved to Nashville.

 

I met my husband on OKC in 2014, spring, we chatted a bit online, his game name was musiclover14 and mine was sunandmoon24. We instantly clicked I mean he was completely, absolutely amazing. We had a great conversation and then another and then another and finally I asked him to meet me in person at Starbucks in Georgetown.

 

 

We dated for 3 months and then he told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend. We ended up moving together and then he moved to my city and we got engaged the following christmas and then married a year and half later in July.

 

 

THERE IS ONLY ONE THING!

 

He stole my ATM card one day and went and apparantly I told him my pin number at one point, and he stole my ATM card out of my wallet and withdrew 200 at a strip club with his buddies in Round Rock, he still has not come completely clean about this event till this day but he did admit that it was wrong, but he has never aplogized. I wanted to break up with him right away, but there was still something really still something really about him that I loved and love so much till this day. Ok , I am not going to go any further till I get some feedback on what you guys think about the moral of this theft ??????

 

 

xxxx thanks for reading and being interested in my story. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Edited June 28, 2018 by aminae7

[aminae7]

Is the fact that my husband stole money from me a deal breaker ???

[Veronica73]

I don't know. I think what is a deal breaker in dating is different than what is a deal breaker once you have gotten married. So...if you were just dating when he stole your atm card and took out money at a strip club... then absolutely, definitely a deal breaker. Once you are married... I don't know... I guess I would try to figure it out and at least try to work on it.

 

But the whole "he stole my atm card and somehow I told him my PIN number at some point" is very strange. When I was married my ex and I shared pretty much everything. Sometimes I think people who don't trust their partners with the checking account shouldn't get married.

[aminae7]

I don't know. I think what is a deal breaker in dating is different than what is a deal breaker once you have gotten married. So...if you were just dating when he stole your atm card and took out money at a strip club... then absolutely, definitely a deal breaker. Once you are married... I don't know... I guess I would try to figure it out and at least try to work on it.

 

But the whole "he stole my atm card and somehow I told him my PIN number at some point" is very strange. When I was married my ex and I shared pretty much everything. Sometimes I think people who don't trust their partners with the checking account shouldn't get married.

 

It happened when we were living together in summer of 2014 x:) What do you think??? Well, it does not matter because I basically brushed that aside and forgave him for that .

[Zahara]

It happened when we were living together in summer of 2014 x:) What do you think??? Well, it does not matter because I basically brushed that aside and forgave him for that .

 

Are you trying to find a reason to leave your husband? Stealing is a dealbreaker, at least for me -- whether you are married or dating. What about cheating? Is that a dealbreaker for your husband?

[aminae7]

Are you trying to find a reason to leave your husband? Stealing is a dealbreaker, at least for me -- whether you are married or dating. What about cheating? Is that a dealbreaker for your husband?

 

I guess it is kind of an excuse, but I want to tell his story because he changed my life. I am where I never knew I could be.

[aminae7]

I guess it is kind of an excuse, but I want to tell his story because he changed my life. I am where I never knew I could be.

 

Well, let's see , where was I ???? I tried to buy a diet coke that night and i noticed my atm card was missing ( atm = auntie emm in numerology)...well then I panicked and looked online and saw a card purchase and tracked it to Rick's Cabaret,

[Zahara]

Well, let's see , where was I ???? I tried to buy a diet coke that night and i noticed my atm card was missing ( atm = auntie emm in numerology)...well then I panicked and looked online and saw a card purchase and tracked it to Rick's Cabaret,

 

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for -- you've cheated on your husband and claimed that you're not happy. You have a dysfunctional attachment to the man that you cheated with. You claim your husband is stealing from you.

 

You need to figure out what your next steps are and what is going to allow you to live your life without all this toxicity.

 

Forget the stealing -- you've been cheating since you married this man. That in itself is enough for you to file for divorce and move on regardless of whether OM is there for you or not.

[aminae7]

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for -- you've cheated on your husband and claimed that you're not happy. You have a dysfunctional attachment to the man that you cheated with. You claim your husband is stealing from you.

 

You need to figure out what your next steps are and what is going to allow you to live your life without all this toxicity.

 

Forget the stealing -- you've been cheating since you married this man. That in itself is enough for you to file for divorce and move on regardless of whether OM is there for you or not.

 

Zahara, why would i file for divorce? I have a perfectly functioning marriage.

[Zahara]

Zahara, why would i file for divorce? I have a perfectly functioning marriage.

 

If perfectly functioning marriage is sufficient enough for you while you're in love with another man/cheat and while your husband is stealing, then keep on living this life.

 

If you're using the board to vent, then there's no advice for you other than to just carry on with the dysfunctional state you've always been in.

[stillafool]

I just want him in my life, if he decides he wants more than friends I would be put in a tough position.

 

Does your husband know you want this guy in your life and is he okay with it?

[aminae7]

Does your husband know you want this guy in your life and is he okay with it?

 

Yes, I tell my husband everything. He has done nothing wrong since the @200 dollar stealing incident. I have fully forgiven him and we have a great marriage.

 

The ex lives on the other side of the planet from me. We are barely awake at the same time, but sometimes I text him and he never texts me back. We have no open communication with each other only breadcrumbs through social media/email/text.

 

Im not sure what is happening right now. Probably nothing.

 

The truth of the matter is that there is nothing between us, only a fantasy and that is all there is. No use in telling my story.

Edited July 2, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[aminae7]

The last thing I did was invite him and his girlfriend (THE EX) to Las Vegas in the fall for a show. I don't know why I latch on to him so hard. It's instinctual, everytime I wake up I want to check on him and see what he is doing, everytime I accomplish a goal at work I share, everytime I am happy I share and everytime Im high I share. I guess That's what is happening in realty. I have a new life with lots of friends, a successful career and great house and family here but its all because of the ex's continued attention and support, whilst he continues to block me off of all Social Media , he strategically keeps certain accounts unblocked and open and we definitely have conversations when were both high.

 

I guess what it boils down to is Im an addict and Im addicted to drugs and I am addicted to an ex. I visited a rehab center back in 2008 and got on medication to keep me from the ex and it worked but now my current husband and I party a lot and we definitely both have secrets that we keep from eachother, we flirt we play , we have a grand ole time and I just can't go on without the ex in my life as well. He did so much for me, I want to acknowledge that I respect him and his new life and girlfriend and everything but I don't know how to communicate with the ex or what to say in the end. Its just a tragedy.

 

I have had years of therapy and medication and I just don't know what to do. Im on medication right now and it is supposed to help me stop contacting ex, but it does not work, why do i have to take a pill to stop talking to an ex, why can't I have control over my actions not act this way anymore, its a mess.

 

My psych also told me to call her if I ever feel like contacting the ex. I can't afford that, I just want to be with him again.

 

I tried to leave my husband for him last weekend but just couldn't cause my step daughter is here and it would be too much disruption in her life, I did decide after a 'messanger' relayed a message to me that he still loves me, I decided that I would rather live free from falso love and be single and maybe have a hope of getting back with him instead of living in my marriage, but my plans didn't pan out, Im back home now.

Edited July 3, 2018 by aminae7
More Information

[DrReplyInRhymes]

The last thing I did was invite him and his girlfriend (THE EX) to Las Vegas in the fall for a show. I don't know why I latch on to him so hard. It's instinctual, everytime I wake up I want to check on him and see what he is doing, everytime I accomplish a goal at work I share, everytime I am happy I share and everytime Im high I share. I guess That's what is happening in realty. I have a new life with lots of friends, a successful career and great house and family here but its all because of the ex's continued attention and support, whilst he continues to block me off of all Social Media , he strategically keeps certain accounts unblocked and open and we definitely have conversations when were both high.

 

I guess what it boils down to is Im an addict and Im addicted to drugs and I am addicted to an ex. I visited a rehab center back in 2008 and got on medication to keep me from the ex and it worked but now my current husband and I party a lot and we definitely both have secrets that we keep from eachother, we flirt we play , we have a grand ole time and I just can't go on without the ex in my life as well. He did so much for me, I want to acknowledge that I respect him and his new life and girlfriend and everything but I don't know how to communicate with the ex or what to say in the end. Its just a tragedy.

 

I have had years of therapy and medication and I just don't know what to do. Im on medication right now and it is supposed to help me stop contacting ex, but it does not work, why do i have to take a pill to stop talking to an ex, why can't I have control over my actions not act this way anymore, its a mess.

 

My psych also told me to call her if I ever feel like contacting the ex. I can't afford that, I just want to be with him again.

 

I tried to leave my husband for him last weekend but just couldn't cause my step daughter is here and it would be too much disruption in her life, I did decide after a 'messanger' relayed a message to me that he still loves me, I decided that I would rather live free from falso love and be single and maybe have a hope of getting back with him instead of living in my marriage, but my plans didn't pan out, Im back home now.

 

Preface: I didn't read any of your story prior to this one reply. If my reply changes due to some light reading I do, I'll update it within the next post I make.

 

Go after what your heart wants, quit complicating it with thought,

If you've gone this far in loving a man, then tell him it's he who you sought,

Your kids are a priority as they should be but your happiness is important too,

For if you choose to remain in this chaos, even your therapist can't ever help you.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

I read about the 1st page of your replies.

 

Allow me to change my original post...

 

Have you even met this person? Ever?

 

If not, how do you know it's not some fat mother****er who doesn't ever go outside simply messing with you? Or some group of twisted people who think it's funny to try and mess with your life?

 

Seriously, you do not love this man. You may love the idea of him, but you've never met him. Either, go for it and actually MEET this person, or let him remain a fantasy in your mind.

 

How can you be in love someone you never met?!

[aminae7]

I read about the 1st page of your replies.

 

Allow me to change my original post...

 

Have you even met this person? Ever?

 

If not, how do you know it's not some fat mother****er who doesn't ever go outside simply messing with you? Or some group of twisted people who think it's funny to try and mess with your life?

 

Seriously, you do not love this man. You may love the idea of him, but you've never met him. Either, go for it and actually MEET this person, or let him remain a fantasy in your mind.

 

How can you be in love someone you never met?!

 

Yes of course I have met this person!!! I'll tell you the story in a minute.

[aminae7]

Basically we (EX) met in London in 1999 at a club. We dated for 6 weeks. Said goodbye and I came back to Texas.

We emailed a few times from 2000-2003. I got married in 2003. IN 2005 I had an affair with the ex. We kept in touch and he was my best friend helping me through a tough divorce.

 

HE started to move around the world, to Dubai then to Hong Kong and then now to Singapore and finally Malaysia. I have stayed in Texas this whole time. We emailed again and in 2012 I did a website for his company and we Skyped but he got back together with his GF and he is with her now.

 

We now only have communication through social media. So yes, he is a real person lol. x

[aminae7]

Nothing new on the ex front, but it is funny how a small thing like independence day can cause one to regain their freedom and independence from a toxic english ex.

 

GOOD RIDDANCE! I have finally found my way to freedom from this toxic relationship and Im going to heal and tell my husband everyday that I love him because he is the one that has been there through all of the bad times, he's the one that has held me whilst I cried and everyone who ever said that there are other fish in the sea were right.

 

Since I have been seeing my husband I have re-build relationships with my past, I have made tons of new friends and I have re-entered my career field that I had been missing out on since 2006. Its time for rejuvination, renewal, and healing.

 

Since I have been seeing my husband (4 years) I have come off of every pill (7 pharmecuticals) taken and (seroquel for sleep, lithium for bi-polar, oxcarzaperpine for mood stabilization and now I am only down to 2 pills and I am seeing my psychiatrist for getting off the last 2 remaining pills although I think i will keep my anti-depressant. I realize now that the ex doesn't want me, he's decided that he doesn't give a rats ass for me and my well being, he is an evil evil man and I wish him as much pain and sorrow as he has caused me. GOOD LUCK JAMIE, May you rot in hell.

[aminae7]

Nothing new on the ex front, but it is funny how a small thing like independence day can cause one to regain their freedom and independence from a toxic english ex.

 

GOOD RIDDANCE! I have finally found my way to freedom from this toxic relationship and Im going to heal and tell my husband everyday that I love him because he is the one that has been there through all of the bad times, he's the one that has held me whilst I cried and everyone who ever said that there are other fish in the sea were right.

 

Since I have been seeing my husband I have re-build relationships with my past, I have made tons of new friends and I have re-entered my career field that I had been missing out on since 2006. Its time for rejuvination, renewal, and healing.

 

Since I have been seeing my husband (4 years) I have come off of every pill (7 pharmecuticals) taken and (seroquel for sleep, lithium for bi-polar, oxcarzaperpine for mood stabilization and now I am only down to 2 pills and I am seeing my psychiatrist for getting off the last 2 remaining pills although I think i will keep my anti-depressant. I realize now that the ex doesn't want me, he's decided that he doesn't give a rats ass for me and my well being, he is an evil evil man and I wish him as much pain and sorrow as he has caused me. GOOD LUCK JAMIE, May you rot in hell.

I told a mutual friend about our EXACT plan last spring, he started in England , went east ended in Asia now. In fall he is picking me up on his way back home strictly going east . I’m on the way back home...

[aminae7]

I cannot believe this rubbish, I guess you must be so happy that England moved to advance :eek:should I tell him that ? Omg I just don’t know if I should be talking to him !!!!

 

 

We first got in a fight when he told me who couldn’t love me the way I love him, then he broke my heart and called me bi-polar?? What’s a girl to do? Then he said his men’s private wasn’t as big as the tallest bulldozing s in Hong Kong...

Edited July 9, 2018 by aminae7

[aminae7]

- I am moving this evening to my Mother's House. My husband has agreed to start counselling.

 

This comes on exactly our 2 year anniversary.

[d0nnivain]

Zahara, why would i file for divorce? I have a perfectly functioning marriage.

 

If you being hung up on some other guy & your husband stealing from you is a perfectly functioning marriage, I don't want to see you definition of a dysfunctional train wreck.

 

 

Nothing new on the ex front, but it is funny how a small thing like independence day can cause one to regain their freedom and independence from a toxic english ex.

 

GOOD RIDDANCE! I have finally found my way to freedom from this toxic relationship and Im going to heal and tell my husband everyday that I love him because he is the one that has been there through all of the bad times, he's the one that has held me whilst I cried and everyone who ever said that there are other fish in the sea were right.

 

Since I have been seeing my husband I have re-build relationships with my past, I have made tons of new friends and I have re-entered my career field that I had been missing out on since 2006. Its time for rejuvination, renewal, and healing.

 

Since I have been seeing my husband (4 years) I have come off of every pill (7 pharmecuticals) taken and (seroquel for sleep, lithium for bi-polar, oxcarzaperpine for mood stabilization and now I am only down to 2 pills and I am seeing my psychiatrist for getting off the last 2 remaining pills although I think i will keep my anti-depressant. I realize now that the ex doesn't want me, he's decided that he doesn't give a rats ass for me and my well being, he is an evil evil man and I wish him as much pain and sorrow as he has caused me. GOOD LUCK JAMIE, May you rot in hell.

 

 

So why are you moving in with mom?

 

You have a lot to work through. This EX is not the answer to your prayers. The distance alone makes a relationship with him impossible.

 

Don't get married again until you straighten yourself out. It's not fair to the guys you take up with. This EX character will always screw things up for you until you exorcise him from your life once & for all.

[aminae7]

 

So why are you moving in with mom?

Im not, I could not go through with it. I decided to jump back in the tunnel. My husband is going to start going to get some help through councelling. Im thrilled because I really want to work with what God has given me. He's given me a basically good life I just have some kinks to work out.

 

 

 

exorcise him from your life once & for all.

 

I still check his facebook everyday. That is about the extent of our relationship right now, and I went cold turkey on the drug use. I now only take what is prescribed to me, nothing else,

 

thanks everyone for your help, this forum is amazing. Have a great day.

[d0nnivain]

It's good that you stopped taking meds that were not prescribed to you.

 

You need to delete the other guy off all social media & block him. You don't have the strength to not look but looking harms you & the marriage you are allegedly trying to hold together. Since you believe in God, re-read the Commandments. That Shall Not Covet They Neighbor's Spouse. I'm paraphrasing but every time you look at the other guy's FB is an affront to your marriage & you are breaking the commandments. When you are tempted to unblock him pray for strength & take a long walk instead.