georgia girl Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I know it seems cheesy to say when someone is longing for the love of another, but self-love is the most important ingredient in couple love. Appropriate self-love, that is. But self-love helps you establish terms of endearment that respect your own being and in return, forces the object of your desire to respect you and work to earn your love. When you don’t practice self-love and sacrifice yourself to be in a relationship, it’s 100% doomed to fail. It doesn’t have the infrastructure to survive long term. On the flip side, it sounds like your MM had too much self-love. So much so that he was willing to sacrifice others for his own pleasure. That is also not sustaining. When someone engages in that type of love, they end up destroying everyone who loved them and wind up alone as well. Savannah, you are free to love again and have learned one of the most valuable lessons about love. Take this knowledge and be fulfilled by a partner with whom you have both have boundaries of how you will treat each other. You have a great heart and a huge amount of love to give. In the right environment, you will positively bloom! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Adotta Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 (edited) Noone has mentioned that half the fun for this guy is the fact that op is married. "Stealing" another man's woman is VERY exciting. It gives you the feeling of being a stud. Of being so desirable and good in the sack and smooth that women are willing to betray thier husbands just to sleep with you. The Japanese have an actual word for this. It's called netorare or netori and is all over in thier culture. some men will Chase certain women for the sole reason of one upping another man. To be compared to them and come out on top. it really sometimes isn't even about the woman as much as the ego boost she provides by being taken. When I was sleeping with my MW it was a big factor for me. ( it's more complicated then that). I got very excited at the thought of being the "superior" man. I grew up and grew out of that but even now the thought of being considered a stud better then other men does affect me a bit. If your other man ever wondered or asked about your sex life with hubby and wants details I can almost gauruntee this concept is floating around in his head. if he asked who is bigger its definite. He is getting off on looking down on another man. Your husband. So yeah congrats for boosting his ego and the cost of your husbands. No matter how this ends your OM will always snicker and pity / look down on hubby. That's the gift you gave him. Even if you end up hating him it won't matter that gift still lingers. His sex and smooth words where enough to make a woman betray an oath. And that excites him. Also I would NOT recommend looking into netorare or netori it's pretty disgusting and graphic stuff. so unless you want to puke ( or laugh ) just don't. I was into cheating porn for a little bit for my own messed up reasons and I came across it. It's mostly anime nerd related porn so I wasn't sucked in ( I can't jerk off to drawing and cartoons. ). Not that I judge people who do. Edited March 20, 2018 by Adotta Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 It was so hard last year. this year I think I dont need a cheater. this wife has a real winner. a cheater who got me pregnant my son is 16mths now. shes got to put up with his snoring . i had stand him when he snors i need a good sleep. hes goes to me my wife trusts me she dont trust you. yeah right lol Link to post Share on other sites
Adoraxx Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 adoraxx, are you still with him? I have often thought that our situations were very similar.. I’m just wondering how or if you ended it too and how you are coping Hi Savannah, no, I haven't been with him for quite a few years (sexually) and last year I moved and after that he continued to play games with me by email, but 6 months ago I put a stop to that by going NC without telling him why. That was the last he ever heard from me. Since then he sent me about 15 emails but I never responded. His last email is from January.... I still miss him so much but I have to protect myself now. I couldn't take the stress anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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