Omg... It's a match on Tinder

[Springsummer]

It's a match!

 

as mentioned in another thread I have been indecisive with this person I know in real life.

 

so I paid Tinder and see a list of people who like me. didn't see him there. even thought it was about 800, still shouldn't miss me.

 

so this morning lying on bed, thinking I have the undo bottom with paying feature. so I thought I could just undo to save myself the embarrassment. then bamn, it's a match.

 

so now only thing left for me to do is unmatch or talk to him(suppose he will initiate talk) neither of them I want to do.

 

there is no undo button after match. Tinder is devilish. why was he hidden from the list?

[Springsummer]

Now he actually msg me saying: "Good day, nice profile....", "we have a lot in common..."

 

Ha? he didn't even say my name and mentioned we have seen each other a few times?

 

Does he have amnesia?

 

Dear people here, any idea?

 

I want to explore other people on Tinder. How do I delay really talking to him? I want to leave him as an option(is that bad?) How should I response? any idea? please help!

Edited March 17, 2018 by Springsummer

[Happy Lemming]

You say you know this gentleman in "real life"... Do you have his phone number, if so call him up and say "Hello".

[Springsummer]

You say you know this gentleman in "real life"... Do you have his phone number, if so call him up and say "Hello".

 

no. but we definitely know each other in REAL Life.

 

but why call him even if I do have his number? or you joking or making fun of me?

 

This is weird. still no clue what to do and still haven't reply to him. I am scratching my head. since no help here, I guess I have to figure out myself.

 

I know I was idiotic by swiping right...guess I just want to know if he indeed not swiping right...now I don't know what to do. curiosity kills.

[Happy Lemming]

but why call him even if I do have his number? or you joking or making fun of me?

 

 

No... I'm not joking nor making fun of you. If you know someone in "real life" and you want to go out with him, there is nothing wrong with "breaking the ice" with a phone call or text.

 

Do you have a mutual friend that you could obtain his phone number??

 

A while back I was at a party, apparently a woman at the party was interested in me after we chit-chatted at bit, while I was mingling at this party. I guess my radar was down and I didn't pick up on her flirting. The next day she contacted a mutual friend, obtained my phone number and texted me. I was delighted to hear from her and we dated for a while. I was impressed that she knew what she wanted and took the initiative to get my number and reach out to me.

 

I imagine this gentleman may feel as impressed as I was...

 

Seriously, what have you got to lose. You aren't "cold calling" people out of the yellow pages for a date. He already knows you and you know him.

 

Go for it!!

[happyhusband0005]

No... I'm not joking nor making fun of you. If you know someone in "real life" and you want to go out with him, there is nothing wrong with "breaking the ice" with a phone call or text.

 

Do you have a mutual friend that you could obtain his phone number??

 

A while back I was at a party, apparently a woman at the party was interested in me after we chit-chatted at bit, while I was mingling at this party. I guess my radar was down and I didn't pick up on her flirting. The next day she contacted a mutual friend, obtained my phone number and texted me. I was delighted to hear from her and we dated for a while. I was impressed that she knew what she wanted and took the initiative to get my number and reach out to me.

 

I imagine this gentleman may feel as impressed as I was...

 

Seriously, what have you got to lose. You aren't "cold calling" people out of the yellow pages for a date. He already knows you and you know him.

 

Go for it!!

 

I think her dilemma is she is not sure if she is interested in this person or not. And now wants to know how to put him off until she see what else is out there.

 

SpringS, If you think you might be interested in him you might as well go out and find out for sure. If your unsure and are afraid it will make things awkward with with mutual friends or something like that skip it. But I would say meet for something simple like coffee or lunch to gauge things more.

[Springsummer]

I think her dilemma is she is not sure if she is interested in this person or not. And now wants to know how to put him off until she see what else is out there.

 

SpringS, If you think you might be interested in him you might as well go out and find out for sure. If your unsure and are afraid it will make things awkward with with mutual friends or something like that skip it. But I would say meet for something simple like coffee or lunch to gauge things more.

 

Thank you! you got me.

 

I was wondering what was wrong with my writing, that people don't even know what I was talking about at all?

 

Same problem with the guy in this thread!!!!!!

 

He messaged me first saying we have a lot in common, etc...I said "he look familiar...I am still in shocked...snowboarding is awesome. I just did that this Friday and I skied Sat. "

 

the he replied"I look familiar, from where? have you done any snowboarding lately. I have a board, we should go sometimes".

 

????!!!!!!!!!

 

what the hell? did he really read my post? He can't recognize me? we chatted a bit at least 4 times over the past few years.

 

It made me wonder if I am living in a dream or alternate universe or something.

 

Pissed is an understatement. Does the guy have comprehension problem and amnesia?

 

IGNORED!!!

 

then he messaged again yesterday asking where I snowboard last week? and he redo flooring in his condo.

 

Ignored again!

 

still can't recognize me? what the heck! do I look so much different in pics than real person? how can that be? I only brighten and smooth my skin a bit. same facial features, no change.

[Springsummer]

The guy actually looks good and it seems he has no problem with attracting women.

 

I was surprise and he liked me and msg me first and msg me again after I ignored him. Men generally don't msg again if no reply.

 

BUT.........."comprehension and amnesia"? what's the deal? I can't work with that.

 

Can't believe this

 

Don't care about he unmatches me at this point.

[Happy Lemming]

I think her dilemma is she is not sure if she is interested in this person or not. And now wants to know how to put him off until she see what else is out there.

 

 

Is there a rule that you can't date two people at once??

[Springsummer]

Is there a rule that you can't date two people at once??

 

I am an idiot...now that you mention it...but now it's a no go with this guy anyway:( coz I am pissed.

[Springsummer]

Stop altering your photos.

 

oh, come on, how does brighten one's complexion a bit render one unrecognizable? because I didn't use much makeup. I am someone who can't really do make up. just casual pics. plus I am an ethnic minority in a city of 1 million. how difficult it is to recognize? I am thinking if this person has visual problem?

Edited March 23, 2018 by Springsummer

[Mrin]

OP - take a few deep breaths and let your blood pressure go down a bit.

 

If I understand this correctly, you like this guy. You're indecisive about him but like him enough that you paid Tinder and sat in bed worrying about your decision to swipe right on him. Why he wasn't showing up for you. And then, boom, it is a match and you're upset because he isn't recalling you immediately but just saying that you look familiar.

 

Do I have that right?

 

Online dating is an awkward place. He might not want to be "outing you" in RL and thus just trolling the "you look familiar" waiting for you to connect the dots. Essentially holding open a space for you to bring the Real Life into the Online Life.

 

The other explanation is that he's a context guy. I'm one of those. I learn people by the context in which I meet them. I live a very compartmentalized life. I live in two places 1) home and 2) elsewhere - as I travel extensively for business. I've actually sat next to a neighbor of mine on a trans-pacific flight racking my brain as to why she looked so familiar. It wasn't until a good 7 hours into the flight that I finally connected the dots and remembered who she was. He might be one of those guys.

 

Just connect the dots for him and see what he says.

[Springsummer]

OP - take a few deep breaths and let your blood pressure go down a bit.

 

If I understand this correctly, you like this guy. You're indecisive about him but like him enough that you paid Tinder and sat in bed worrying about your decision to swipe right on him. Why he wasn't showing up for you. And then, boom, it is a match and you're upset because he isn't recalling you immediately but just saying that you look familiar.

 

Do I have that right?

 

Online dating is an awkward place. He might not want to be "outing you" in RL and thus just trolling the "you look familiar" waiting for you to connect the dots. Essentially holding open a space for you to bring the Real Life into the Online Life.

 

The other explanation is that he's a context guy. I'm one of those. I learn people by the context in which I meet them. I live a very compartmentalized life. I live in two places 1) home and 2) elsewhere - as I travel extensively for business. I've actually sat next to a neighbor of mine on a trans-pacific flight racking my brain as to why she looked so familiar. It wasn't until a good 7 hours into the flight that I finally connected the dots and remembered who she was. He might be one of those guys.

 

Just connect the dots for him and see what he says.

 

Not really.

 

I am not really very attracted to him. Just very lukewarm. I didn't give him all the green light in real life. I thought/felt he liked me.(now it seems I was wrong)

 

I paid Tinder for other reasons, he is just one of them.

 

I was the one who said he look familiar and he was the one who asked "I look familiar, from where?":mad::eek:

 

I am not going to correct and remind him....there are hotter guys out there.

[BaileyB]

Well, this is hard to follow...

 

I can't tell if you like this guy, or don't like this guy. I don't know if you want to go out with him, or don't want to go out with him.

 

I do understand that you are upset with him for not recognizing you... Yet, you say you have chatted a bit four times in the past few years. My dear, that's not very much... And, it obviously wasn't as memorable for him as it was for you.

 

I would suggest that you calm yourself and tell him that you are not interested. No big deal.

Edited March 23, 2018 by BaileyB

[Springsummer]

 

I do understand that you are upset with him for not recognizing you... Yet, you say you have chatted a bit four times in the past few years. My dear, that's not very much... And, it obviously wasn't as memorable for him as it was for you.

 

that's what's the point to go out with him? or only after we meet and he goes "oh, it's just you".

 

Forget about it. I am not that interested. pass. move on.

 

oh, one interested side note: One time we chatted, he recalled and reminded me every details the last time we met. I was impressed. and now...what the ...

Edited March 23, 2018 by Springsummer

[irresolute]

Hello, I’m not sure why is this hard to follow, but it is. Maybe it’s the fact English is not your first language?

 

I think you’re a little over the top here. Relax.

Maybe this guy is waiting for you to recognize him and talk about it first. It’s not unusual for guys to wait and see before jumping into the pool.

 

 

Anyway, you sound very excited and passsionate about this guy (again, sorry if it’s not the case but that’s what your writings translate to) so why don’t you just stop playing and tell him you know him? If you have brighten your skin in your pictures, you migh look different from real life. Just my two cents

[road]

that's what's the point to go out with him? or only after we meet and he goes "oh, it's just you".

 

Forget about it. I am not that interested. pass. move on.

 

oh, one interested side note: One time we chatted, he recalled and reminded me every details the last time we met. I was impressed. and now...what the ...

 

You are a game player.

You spent money.

You wanted him to contact you.

You got pissed off because he did not remember you.

You refuse to tell him.

 

An adult would of told him where you know each other from.

An adult would of accepted his date to snowboard.

 

When are you going to become an adult?

[irresolute]

You are a game player.

You spent money.

You wanted him to contact you.

You got pissed off because he did not remember you.

You refuse to tell him.

 

An adult would of told him where you know each other from.

An adult would of accepted his date to snowboard.

 

When are you going to become an adult?

 

Exactly this! She’s so weird and complicated, no surprise no one gets her.