What a difference three months makes

[GoldenR]

I know it's fresh and all, but always remember this: somehow, some way, things will get better. They always do. Leaving him was a start. A very good start. You have family that loves you. You have kids that love you and you them. This is the beginning of your new life, and it's only going to get better.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Renee, I am really sorry how things went down precipitating the inevitable break with your husband. You said that it had been weeks since he had moved out but there had been no olive branch from him considering the horrendous manner in which he initiated the break up. That speaks volumes about his conceit and overbearing attitude. In a way that was a good thing because he showed you his true colours with no attempt at sugar coating matters and, sad though it is, it has brought down the curtain on your troubled union with a finality which has left no ambiguity. In a way everything has wound down to a result that seemed inevitable to folks on the outside looking in although I get the feeling that, inspite of your troubled circumstances, you were not ready and willing to throw in the towel just yet. That is the hallmark of someone who is dedicated and true to her core values and beliefs and has the stamina and resilience to run the long race provided her status and sacrifice as an equal partner was recognized by her husband.

 

Elswyth is correct in that you should contact a lawyer at the earliest to get to know the legal position and whether you should have left the marital home or not if that will affect your interests in the event of a divorce. I do not know whether you are holding out hope for a possible reconciliation or not but even if you are, it is better to be prepared for the expected battle that is on the cards. You are a strong person and although this is something that can really set you back, you have it in you to pull through, all the more for the sake of your sons. In an earlier post I had said that you should explore the possibility of getting back in the workforce. I do not know whether this will have a significant impact on your being able to get maintenance from your husband but you may feel that being in the workforce gives you a sense of being in control of your life and something which boosts your confidence. At such a time this may be therapeutic for your self esteem and self worth. What ever be your final decision in matters concerning your future way forward I, along with the others here, wish you the very best and raise a toast to your future happiness and contentment with a glass of your very own Chardonnay. Cheers!

[JuneL]

Thank you so much for the update, OP. It must have taken much strengthen and courage to write such a painful account. Good that you have very supportive parents and your adorable toddlers with you. Are you seeing a therapist to help you get through this difficult period?

 

I think your husband burst out saying those extremely hurtful things out of shame more than anything. I suspect he might talk to you again once he's calmed down. Have you decided what to do in case he tries talking to you?

[William]

Moderator bump per member (not thread starter) request. As a reminder, the thread starter had problems with their account and registered a duplicate, CR1983, to continue posting. They have visited since the site outage. Please continue the topical discussion as appropriate. Moderation bumped this because the thread starter's account is locked due to its problems. Thanks!

[JuneL]

Thinking about you, Renee.

 

Have you spoken to your husband?

[LuckyM]

I don't have an answer but I like your name! Terrific name.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Renee, it's been a while since you last updated your thread. Could we have another update if you feel up to it? I am sure a lot has happened since your last post and your well wishers here would ne happy to hear of your progress. Thanks and best wishes.