primer Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 We've all heard the saying "nice guys finish last." I came to the realization that nice girls finish last also. Men would rather have a relationship with women that have ex-husband drama, children, and debt. Some have no problem with women that sext. Why is that? Does it make things more exciting? Link to post Share on other sites
Redguitar35 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 We've all heard the saying "nice guys finish last." I came to the realization that nice girls finish last also. Men would rather have a relationship with women that have ex-husband drama, children, and debt. Some have no problem with women that sext. Why is that? Does it make things more exciting? I'm not into relationships, but if I were I certainly wouldn't want one with a woman with that kind of baggage. She'd be in the sex only category. I am interested though in what you mean by being a "nice girl." Nice is one thing. Boring and uptight is another. If it means you want to wait 'till the wedding night for sex and have a generally very conservative style of dating, therein could be the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 I'm not into relationships, but if I were I certainly wouldn't want one with a woman with that kind of baggage. She'd be in the sex only category. I am interested though in what you mean by being a "nice girl." Nice is one thing. Boring and uptight is another. If it means you want to wait 'till the wedding night for sex and have a generally very conservative style of dating, therein could be the problem. Ha - No! By "nice girl" I mean one that is financially responsible and independent and does not have a ton of baggage. Not an uptight prude. In today's day and age, is a woman a prude if she won't sext? Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Let me correct you - doormats finish last. I've been there too. Not respecting yourself and allowing men (or women) walking all over you isn't being nice. That's why sometimes the unlikely people get what they want, even if they aren't perfect - they have lots of self-love 2 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 We've all heard the saying "nice guys finish last." I came to the realization that nice girls finish last also. Men would rather have a relationship with women that have ex-husband drama, children, and debt. Some have no problem with women that sext. Why is that? Does it make things more exciting? It's just that it makes those women more emotionally unavailable which can make guys curious. Also sometimes those types of women have been through a lot so I suppose it makes them appear strong or at least gives the impression they could handle difficult times. But it's mainly just because that situation might send the guy into "chase" mode because the woman sure as hell won't be chasing with all that on her plate. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 (edited) Never heard such a thing....any guy that has ever complained is that too many women have baggage, and ask where are the financially independent level headed women. Any guy that prefers to date that kind of a mess is a mess themselves....so why would you want any of that? I don't think that's your problem. Edited March 17, 2018 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 By "nice girl" I mean one that is financially responsible and independent and does not have a ton of baggage. I'll give you an example of the male mindset by giving you a solution. Men are, generally, problem solvers. You present them with a problem and they naturally want to fix it. They're not interested in all that mushy stuff, bla, bla, rather here's the solution, let's go, next. You leave them no room for a solution. You have everything figured out. Is that all men? Nope! However, it can thin your dating pool. I ran into much the same thing when dating decades ago. Comfortable, independent, successful, women didn't know I existed. Fast forward to married, a mess, caregiving, crazy, whacked, vulnerable and they were on me like flies on poop, both married and single. Got that figured out, settled and back to single and comfortable and independent and it's back to zero again. I've come to believe it isn't so much a female or male issue but rather a human issue. Since the female traditionally attracts and the male is attracted, the female's 'job' is to project 'want', not necessarily 'need'. She can have all her stuff together and still want, in this case, male companionship. If she doesn't naturally put out that 'want' aura, then it's a problem to solve Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Basically, it's no more true than the whole "nice guys finish last" thing is. Some do, some don't. Some suffer because they're doormats, not because they're nice. Some aren't as nice as they think they are. Some nice people come out just fine. Some people are attracted to drama, others aren't. In today's day and age, is a woman a prude if she won't sext? This probably depends on what you mean by sexting! If you mean, is a woman a prude if she won't send nudes? No. And anyone telling you differently is PROBABLY trying to exploit you in order to get pictures so they can share with friends. If you mean, is a woman a prude if she refuses to talk about sex at all or flirt in texts? Then maybe so. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Agonistes Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Many guys take whatever is on offer. The women who are messes tend to broadcast availability. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Most men seem to want to get the hottest girl they possibly can. We as men are often given the choice between the average looking, has her life together girl, and the hottie trainwreck. A lot of guys will pick the trainwreck. I have done it myself. Thank you for your honesty. That is most notable as men age. They will take a young woman of just about any character over one near their own age. It's sad, but it's how it is, because sex is their priority. I can't talk because I prefer to do without than be with some old guy I'm not attracted to, unless I knew them when they were young in which case, I still kind of find them attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 nice guys and nice girls don't finish last at all....if they believe there is no finish line....there's no trophy at the end worth running for what only matters is the people in front of them ...are going the same way...and its somewhere beautiful...where all their niceness and humility.....is worth every single tear.... that place they head will be so worth the wait....there is no me first when you are truly nice...its ok....you go before me ..when someone next says that to you in the checkout ...see them as beautiful individuals who gave up their position so you didnt have to wait longer than them........ not they finish after you....there is no finish line to be last at......deb.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 (edited) You dumped someone not that long ago. It doesn't sound like you've been sitting on the shelf long enough to complain about nobody wanting you. Edited March 17, 2018 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 (edited) Not this bullshyt again, just more internet bs. Not nice girls or nice guys. l dunno any ass/h in a good long term relationship . Known a few of both in bs relationships though where they near hate each other. Unfortunately or fortunate , dunno , but yeah the train wrecks do tend to be pretty though and with nice bodies, have gotta admit that. Edited March 17, 2018 by Chilli 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Ha - No! By "nice girl" I mean one that is financially responsible and independent and does not have a ton of baggage. This is almost exactly the same, naive complaint which "nice guys" make. If your only attributes which are worth mentioning are financial responsibility, independence and not having baggage, then you really don't have a lot going for you. I mean, this is just the bottom line which I'd expect from anyone. Are you a good conversationalist? Do you laugh easily? Happy and outgoing? Do you have an interesting life? Can you sustain good friendships? To be worth dating long term, a person has to have a whole package, not just the basics you mention. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 In my experience, all women put men to work, even the nice girls that have their crap together. Sure, that hottie trainwreck might have a little bit more work for a guy to do, but sometimes it's worth a little extra work to have a fun, hot woman to have sex with on the regular. Just be careful when you get old because I've seen some older men who were so indiscriminate about settling for anything young that once they got old and their brains weren't as sharp, were really preyed upon by younger criminal element women -- and men. You know, people who pretend to be helpful but steal your checks and cash them. This happened to my dad by both men and women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LurkerXX Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Yeah, I unfortunately have some extended family that does that in technically legal ways...preys upon the elderly housing wise....postal service workers that keep tabs on people getting a little too old to keep their houses, swoop in and convince them to sell WAY under value, and then turn it...they are scum. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Any guy that prefers to date that kind of a mess is a mess themselves....so why would you want any of that? well said... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 This is almost exactly the same, naive complaint which "nice guys" make. If your only attributes which are worth mentioning are financial responsibility, independence and not having baggage, then you really don't have a lot going for you. I mean, this is just the bottom line which I'd expect from anyone. Are you a good conversationalist? Do you laugh easily? Happy and outgoing? Do you have an interesting life? Can you sustain good friendships? To be worth dating long term, a person has to have a whole package, not just the basics you mention. Well, I believe OP thinks those women who finished ahead of her don't even have the bottom line. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 If you think you're a nice girl who is finishing last, I'll give you my suggestions, in order of importance. 1) Make yourself hotter. Men care about looks so do whatever it takes to achieve that. Keep yourself up, maintain fitness, hygiene, etc. and cosmetic surgery if necessary. 2) Work on being vulnerable. Men want to see emotion from a woman, but specifically vulnerability. The more vulnerable you are, the more they are going to swoop in (like a vulture, lol). If you're totally 100% all together and strong, a guy can't see a way in and he'll want to see a way in and vulnerability generally opens that door. 3) Smile, be friendly and talk more. I don't really know how to explain that. You can Google how to do this if you have to. 4) Flirt a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author primer Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 Well, I believe OP thinks those women who finished ahead of her don't even have the bottom line. I am sorry I started this thread. I am not talking about myself. I have no interest in dating. This is just an observation I made. Is there a way I can delete the whole thing? I am sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
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