Hopeless89 Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 hi all, im new here. well i have a lot of insecurites. i have been w. my bf for 4 months (on sat) and he is absolutely amazing. he has gone thru hell and back with me and has dealt so patiently w. my insecurites, my jealousy, all my paranoia, its amazing how great he's been. he has given up tons to make this relationship work, including barely seeing his friends because we are together all the time. my problem is even tho he is doing this all for me why do i still think those bad thoughts, why can i still not trust him? we have had one major prob. i found a link to a website where he was registered. its called myspace (heard of it). anyways he had messages from these 2 girls on there calling him baby and sweetie and sending him hugs and kisses and when i went to look at their profiles, he had sent them messages in the same context, total flirting. and then i find out when i was away in May the one girl came over (there were other ppl at his house too) but he didnt tell me cuz he was afraid it would upset me because she is the girl that he was "talking" to b4 he met me. swears to me nothing happened and i believe him. and all those flirty messages meant nothing to him, it was all purely just fun, he didnt realize how much they hurt me until he saw how hurt i was. so he apologized and promised he would stop and he has (this was 2 weeks ago) and promised he'd never lie to me again, he even told me he wouldnt hang out with these girls cuz he knew how upset it made me. since then he's been great. but im still having these paranoid, insecure, jealous, whatever u want to call them, feelings. how do i get over that? how do i trust him? Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 My sister says that myspace was definitely thought up by some 14 year old stalker and even though I'm on it, I think it's the root of all evil when it comes to relationships. Your boyfriend was just having harmless fun. Let it go and don't look at his page anymore. If this guy has stopped seeing friends for you then you'd better learn how to trust him because it's not going to get any better than that. What you're really afraid of is that you can't hold up to the competition.This is your insecurity and you need to get past it. Check out the CBT thread and the self-affirmation techniques that one of the regular posters here discussed. You need to work on yourself so that you can be more secure in a fairly secure situation. Link to post Share on other sites
alicia2601 Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 I think it's the root of all evil when it comes to relationships. Yes it's caused a few problems in my relationship as well...i'd get jealous/overreact when a girl would write something in his profile or vice versa *long story short there* And he has said before that it seems like we've always argued over something said in myspace...but i cancelled my account just b/c it got boring, dunno if he still has his or not... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeless89 Posted August 29, 2005 Author Share Posted August 29, 2005 thank u so much! hey btw - where in NY are u from? Link to post Share on other sites
lisamonique86 Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t68915/ hey read my thread ive been having problems similar to yours with my (now ex ) boyfriend. how old are you? im lisa 19 from sydney australia. hope all is going well with you and ur boy Link to post Share on other sites
she_9325 Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 trust just takes time....... "but im still having these paranoid, insecure, jealous, whatever u want to call them, feelings. how do i get over that? how do i trust him?" it's ok, it's totally normal to go through those feelings. it just takes time. if he's true, you'll know. Link to post Share on other sites
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